Oh Yeah, I’m THAT Mom
(I very obviously have mom friends, lots of them, but at Sawyer’s sports camp, it was a different story. Here we go!)
Sawyer has been attending sports camp for a few weeks now. It’s through our local park district and is for 3 and 4 year olds. Mr. Hipster took him to the first class because I had to work, and he warned me about the Coach. That he was not very positive, and obviously wasn’t used to working with such young kids. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt since Sawyer seemed to be having so much fun.
Then I met him. He made my blood boil from the first instant. He teased Sawyer for not watching cartoons. He made fun of the kids for not listening, when he was clearly giving them too many directions at once. Then, he called me Sawyer’s NANNY. Yup, his fucking nanny! I understand that we happen to be the poorest people living in a pretty affluent town, but seriously the kid has an exact replica of my face.
So yeah, Coach and I are not pals. But Sawyer is having a great time and making friends, and I get to watch him and knit some new washcloths. I figure it’s as close to a win win situation as I’m going to get with this.
This brings me to Monday. Sawyer was really crabby, but hadn’t spiked that horrible fever I posted about on Facebook yet, so I gave him the choice of going to class or staying home. The sport that day was basketball, so he begged me to take him. He was having the BEST time. He was showing off his awesome basketball skills and was so very proud of himself. Then, he must have started to not feel well because he began to cry out of nowhere, and walked off the court towards me. His Coach asked him where he was going, and he said between sniffles, “I just need my Mommy for a minute.” The Coach would NOT let up. He kept egging him on saying, “Come on, don’t you want to be with your friends? Come back here right now!” and “Get over here, you’re fine!” I politely said, “You know, he just needs a minute.” and again, he kept going. Finally, I loudly and sternly said, “HE NEEDS A MINUTE.”
That’s when the shunning happened. All of the air sucked out of the room. All eyes were on me and my little boy. Literally every mom and nanny moved away from me, until it was just Sawyer and I with an entire section of bleachers to ourselves. No one would say a word to me or even look at me for the rest of class. Sawyer took his minute to work through whatever he was going through, and happily went back to the rest of his class. The other moms were busy whispering about me. “Did you hear her?!” “I would never let my child walk out of class!” “The Coach is just doing his job!”
No. His job isn’t to make a 3 year old cry or feel shamed about needing his mama for a minute. His job isn’t to tease small children. His job isn’t to get angry and frustrated when they don’t understand activities that are not age appropriate.
When we went to play on the playground after class, none of the moms would even STAND by me. If I moved to an area of the park, the would walk away. It was like a scene out of Mean Girls! I have been ostracized for sure in my time, but this was flippin’ crazy. I guess standing up to a 22 year old boy when he was harassing my child was the wrong thing to do in this town.
The Sports Director ended up calling me today because we weren’t at the class party (because Sawyer was sick, not because I was avoiding anything). I explained that Sawyer was sick and she brought up that Coach had mentioned that I didn’t seem very happy with him. I explained everything that went on and she seemed to be very receptive.
I guess I didn’t realize how much I isolate myself from more mainstream parents because I have so many awesome crunchy/AP friends. Sawyer starts preschool in a couple of weeks and now I’m dreading what it will be like. Am I going to be shunned by those moms, too? I don’t care if they don’t like me. I just don’t want it to affect Sawyer.
Does the drama and exclusion between women ever end? Ugh.