The Hipster Homemaker

Posting a Facebook Status About the Color of Your Bra Isn't Going to Do SHIT About Breast Cancer

2012-02-07T20:16:00.002-06:00

Really. It's not. It doesn't spread awareness, and it sure as hell doesn't tell people what they can actually do to reduce their risk. Buying a pink Swiffer or oven mitt isn't going to do much, either. Minimal amounts of money from each purchase go to charities, and even then, only a tiny amount actually goes towards research for a cure.

So, what does reduce a woman's risk of breast cancer?

Well, there's the basics. Don't smoke. Eat healthy. Exercise. Stay away from hormone replacement if you can. Be aware of chemicals in plastics. Oh, and there's one more that NO ONE seems to talk about that can significantly reduce a woman's risk (and her child's!) of getting breast cancer.

BREASTFEED!

A woman's breasts fully mature after she has nursed a baby. Cell structures change and develop. Milk receptors activate. Hormones change. Lots of good stuff happens. Somehow (no one is exactly 100% sure how it works!) the sole act of nursing a child reduces breast cancer risk.

Not only does breastfeeding greatly reduce the risk of breast cancer in the mother, it also greatly reduces the risk in the child. That goes for your sons, too, ladies. Men get breast cancer, too! Studies have shown a significant inverse relationship between duration of breastfeeding and breast cancer risk. So, the longer you nurse, the more protected you are. Moms who nurse for 2 years or more reduce their risk by 60%!!!! Also, moms who nurse are more protected against premenopausal breast cancer, and women who were nursed are more protected against postmenopausal breast cancer. If you nurse and were nursed, you have optimal protection!

Not only does breastfeeding provide the most optimal nutrition for your child, it can also save you. Why don't more women know about this?! It seems to me that women (especially those with family history!) would be much more apt to give breastfeeding a real shot if they knew about these benefits for both themselves and their children.

Of course, there are women who physically can't breastfeed. However, the ones that can should take a good hard look at the many, many benefits of breastfeeding before they make a decision. Yes, breastfeeding can be difficult, tiresome, and sometimes uncomfortable. It can also, though, be the difference between a mother living to see her child grow up or not.

My Son, The Miser.

2012-01-31T18:14:00.001-06:00

This post isn't deep, or long, or even really all that remarkable. But this happened in our family last week, and it is still making me laugh every time I think about it, so I thought I would share.....

Sawyer got a small boombox for Christmas, and we use it mostly for playing audiobooks of Curious George, Click Clack Moo Cows That Type, and other children's stories. He likes to listen to them while he plays in his room (that he doesn't sleep in). I put on one of his cds and then went off to take a quick shower. Now, this never really ends well when I do this, but we had somewhere to be, and I was disgusting, so there was no getting around it.

I took about a 6 minute shower, and when I came out and checked on him, he was playing with the boombox, like he always does. Except this time, he got really bashful about it and seemed to be hiding something. I asked what he was doing, and he instantly froze. It seemed like he was playing with the tapedeck (which was no big deal since we don't use cassettes), but I heard what sounded like metal. I asked if I could see the stereo, and he said okay. When I opened the tapedeck, I discovered about $3 worth of change! He had been hiding money in his stereo! I asked him where he got the money, and he said that he found it on the floor and was saving it. When I asked him why he hid it in his stereo he said, "BECAUSE DADDY WILL STEAL ALL MY MONEY!"

I still have NO idea where he got the money (we almost never have cash on us!) or how long he has been collecting it. My guess is it has to have been a while! I asked him what he wanted to buy with his money and he said, "Bananas and coffee." He is his father's son, that's for sure!

My little miserly Viking!

I'm Getting My Uterus Massaged. No, Really!

2012-01-26T19:47:00.000-06:00

Yup! You read that right. No, you dirty birdy, no one is sticking their hands up my hoo-ha.

Last week, I got my first Mayan Abdominal Massage. What is that, you ask? Well, it is "a non-invasive, external, massage technique. When applied, they guide internal abdominal organs into their proper position for optimum health and well being. The techniques work by relieving congestion and blockages to improve the flow of chi and fluids of the circulatory, lymphatic and nervous systems to prevent the progression of chronic disease symptomology. This results in improved organ function by releasing physical and emotional congestion from the abdomen."It works for both men and women, but for women, it can help move the uterus into the optimal position for conception. The uterus is held in place by almost a dozen ligaments. If those ligaments are stressed, or out of place themselves, the uterus may not be in the correct position. It can even help moms who have had c-sections with breaking up some of the scar tissue or adhesions (which are very common after having abdominal surgery).

I was a little scared at first, because I didn't really know what to expect in terms of how it would feel, or if I would be able to be relaxed. It took a few minutes, but after that, I was a like a puddle of drool. I was so relaxed, and I'm pretty sure I fell asleep for a few minutes. The massage consists mostly of lower abdominal work, but I also had my back, neck, and shoulders worked on as well. I carry a lot of tension in my shoulders and lower back, so that is extremely helpful to me.

I was right near the end of my period, so I was a little bit tender, but nothing hurt at all. It just felt a little odd. It was so cool, though, because I could actually feel things moving around! I did experience some mild cramping afterwards, but that is normal. I took it as a sign that things were moving and trying to get into the best position possible for my future baby. Also, when your abdomen is worked on, it can release a lot of emotion. A lot of women cry either during or after the massage. I knew that, and was prepared to be a sobbing mess. I wasn't though. That didn't come until the next day, when I was very weepy and nauseous. I was also very angry, and I yelled at Kev, "If I am going through all of this shit and the problem is you, I'm going to kill you!" He kept his distance for a couple of days after that.

One of the most important parts of the massage is the self-care that I have to do daily for about 3-5 minutes a day. It's very, very simple and I feel so relaxed and refreshed after I do it. I can literally feel any pent up tension or emotion just releasing itself. It's wonderful! I am also making some diet changes (no caffeine or alcohol, no processed foods, and limiting dairy products) and trying to work out more in order to make sure I am as healthy as possible for my future babe. This baby will most likely be my last (at least biologically), so I want to make it count!

If you are trying to conceive, have any sort of abdominal or menstrual pain, have bad periods, or are a C-section mama, I can't recommend this enough. It's only been 5 days and I already feel so much better!

This is a short YouTube video on the technique, that explains things a lot better than I could.

I will continue to blog about the massages, and how I feel they are helping on my Journey to Hipster #2. If you are in the Chicagoland area, I highly recommend that you contact Melissa, who does my massages. She also does prenatal and postnatal massages! You can reach her here. You won't regret it!

Home Birth Guest Post Series: Kailah's Story!

2012-01-19T21:00:00.002-06:00

This is another totally beautiful, amazing home birth story. Thank you Kailah and Zarik for sharing it!

Ezekiah Mitchell's Birth Story

Ezekiah is our 3rd baby, but my first homebirth. My first was an emergent induction at 41 weeks due to an AFI of O at our BPP. Her birth ended in a C-section. My second was a completely natural, unmedicated VBAC in the hospital. It was a great birth, but I knew it could still be better, so with our 3rd I chose a homebirth where I could use a birth pool and not have any freaking wires or tubes attatched to me. Since having my c-section, I had immersed myself in the local birth community and had relationships with many doulas and a few midwives. So when the time came it was easy for me to pick my birth team. For my midwife I chose someone who knew my fears based on my c-section and previous miscarriage, could watchcare over me, and yet was as hands off as I needed her to be and trusted ME. My doula had been my ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network - www.ican-online.org) mentor and friend since my C-section and so it was a no brainer to ask her to be my doula.
Ezekiah's birth story begins with desparation. Monday, August 16th, I was 13 days past my due date. I was in pain, I was anxious, Zarik was looking at rescheduling his annual checkride for a second time (he's an airline pilot), my mom had just extended her trip out here for the second time and I'd had a bunch of "false starts" aka prodromal labor. I kept telling Zarik that this game was NOT fun anymore. So that night I decided to take castor oil. 2oz in a glass of OJ. An hour later I was so sick to my stomach and tired and just plain sore that I was bawling on Zarik's shoulder about how I just couldn't do this anymore and the only reason I wasn't begging for a c-section was I knew if I did that I would never bond with this baby because I was so upset with him over how much pain I was in. I finally calmed down and went to bed. Sure enough I was up and in the bathroom several times that night.

Tuesday, August 17th, I woke up with decently hard contractions that were 4-5 minutes apart. The castor oil had worked! I was still depressed from the night before and I really didn't want to be around the kids so I stayed hidden in my room for a while. And then I took a shower. Which spaced the contracts out to 10 minutes. I was frustrated. About noon Zarik convinced me to go to the hardware store and Starbucks with him. Then when we got home my mom and the kids packed up and went to my sisters house. I'd updated my doula and midwife throughout the day and finally about 8pm I called my doula in. She watched me for a bit then suggested we try to sleep. The contractions spaced to about 15 minutes during the night but required help through them.

Wednesday, August 18th found my doula going home, and me STILL in "just" early labor. I had a midwife appointment at 1, and decided to get into the chiropractor as well. The chiro spent a LOT of time with me making sure I was well adjusted and going over some emotional points in the body. Then we saw the midwife who checked me and found me at a very stretch 6cm!! You should have seen the look on her face, lol! The combination of the adjustment and finding I was 6cm relaxed me enough that I was hungry (I hadn't been hungry or eaten anything big for a couple days. I had made myself eat things like cheese and turkey). So Zarik and I went to Panera for lunch. It's always interesting going out to eat in labor because I'm trying not to scare everyone in the restaurant, haha! (I did in labor with Urijah, too) After that we had to get his tux for a wedding that weekend. By the time we left Men's Warehouse I told him we'd better get home as quick as we could - 45 minutes up our mountain pass. I definitely felt myself shift into active labor during the drive home. We're probably the only people who had to rush HOME to give birth, lol!

Once home, I wanted to get into my birth tub right away so I changed clothes while Zarik finished getting it ready. This only took 5 minutes and Zarik made me call the midwife and doula while I waited. They both said they'd be right there. This was about 3:20. I jumped into the tub and contractions immediately picked up. The water felt AMAZING. It gave me a few longer breaks which were nice. I would just float in the water, looking out our open sliding glass door at Pikes Peak, amazed that I was doing this in our home! Despite the water, the contractions made me feel like I would split apart. I looked at Zarik and said "Screw active labor, I'm in transition!" It took the doula and midwife about and hour to get there. The doula got there first and as she put her purse down she stopped, looked at Zarik who was in the tub with me as I was having a contraction and said "Is she pushing?!" He just nodded. The midwife got there 3 minutes later and they quickely and quietly got everything they needed ready. The next 30 minutes were spent with me in such constant pain that I couldn't tell when contractions started or stopped. Zarik described me as a defiant 2 year old because I kept yelling at them that baby wasn't coming fast enough and it hurt SOOOOOO bad. During the last few minutes of pushing I was just focused on getting him out when the midwife had to ask me if my contraction had stopped and if so to stop pushing. I honestly hadn't realized it had because I was in so much pain in my pelvis. I waited for the next one, my water broke on the first push, I have 2 more pushes and he was OUT!! PRAISE GOD!! It was 5pm. Zarik almost got to catch him, but I twisted around at the last minute and caught him myself!

Now the only complication happened - his cord was so short it snapped as he popped out, spewing blood out. My awesome midwife grabbed the cord and pinched it calmly but urgently telling her assistant to grab the umbilical clamp. They clamped Ezekiah's side, while my side just went back up! It took about 10 minutes before I delivered the placenta, which wasn't bad and it looked great. I just sat in the tub during that time and tried to nurse. Ezekiah was telling us off though, which made it difficult, haha! Also, because the sac had popped so late in the game he had a little "skull cap" of amniotic sac on his head. I thought that was pretty neat! After that I got out and moved to a blow up bed we had set up for after, and I successfully got him latched on. After about 30 minutes or so the midwife did the assesment and he was 7lbs 2oz, 20.5 inches long, and a 14" head! Our biggest baby, haha! And no wonder my pelvis kept feeling like it would split with that head!! They also "dated" him at acting and looking like a 40 week 5 day baby - over a week younger than when he was born. I guess he just needed the extra time. I don't remember the apgars, but I'm sure they were high.

You can see the video I made here: http://youtu.be/VnEstBGEXI8

Home Birth Guest Post Series: Ariel's Story

2012-01-16T19:47:00.001-06:00

This story is SO beautiful. Thank you so much, Ariel, for sharing it.

(Im writing this while sitting in my bed watching my baby sleep. The very same bed she was born in :)

Arava Ellah spun into the world 9 weeks ago onto the bed she now shares with her mom and dad. I say 'spun' because the midwife commented on how once the head had emerged, the rest of her came out in a spin, like a corkscrew. Long before I got pregnant, I dreamed of a home birth. I became a doula two years ago, and from my very first birth in a hospital ( I have only attended hospital births) I knew that there had to be a better way: better for moms, babies and families. It pained me every time I heard a woman being told that she 'had' to do something "because thats hospital policy". Hospital policy is not birth, its protocol. And anyone who has given birth or witnessed birth knows, every birth is different, every woman is different, so how can every policy be the best for every mom? I hated seeing women hooked up to IVs, monitors and tethered to a bed. I couldn't (and still don't) believe that that is the best way for a woman to go through birth and for a baby to enter the world. I wanted to give birth in a environment where I felt safe, secure, surrounded by those who care about me, and where my baby could enter the world in a peaceful loving environment. For me, home was the only option. As soon as I found out I was pregnant (a real miracle after I would need fertility treatments, but never did) I started looking for a midwife. Not long after becoming a Doula I realized that I have a strong calling to become a midwife, I believe in the midwifery model of care, embracing pregnancy and birth as part of the life cycle, not a sickness that needs to be treated: women centered care. Where I live, only a CNM (certified nurse midwife) can legally issue a birth certificate, meaning that birthing at home with anyone other than a CNM means that they are practicing illegally. So I started my search for a CNM. I support direct entry midwifery, and really believe in it, but we decided that we didn't want issues with care in the case of a need for a hospital transfer (and a non licensed midwife could be a problem in that case). We interviewed two midwives, and when we met the second (whom I already knew) we just knew she was the one for us. (Its kind of like when I met my husband for the first, I just knew we were meant to be together, and she was meant to be there for my birth!).

I loved my prenatal appointments at the midwife's birthing center. It was *my* time to talk about being pregnant, how I feel physically and emotionally, ask questions and really feel special about the life growing inside me. It was so nice to get that time with my husband too, for us to hear the baby together, to talk about what we are experiencing together. My OB (who I saw for the first 2 months of pregnancy) barely had time to ask what my name was. I really felt that my midwife was invested in my pregnancy and I knew she would provide amazing care for me during my birth. To me this was so important, because as a Doula I really believe that the birth experience begins that day you find out you are pregnant. And feeling confident and empowered during pregnancy means being empowered during birth.

In mid August (week 37 I believe) I started having contractions. I had contractions, for a few hours a day, every day, for 3 weeks. They call this "prodromal labor" I called it hell. It wasn't the pain, that I could deal with, it was the constant disappointment that nearly every day after a few hours of contractions, that they would just end and I would have to realize that that day was not my baby's birthday. The waiting was agonizing. This though, was made so much better by the fact that I was planning a home birth because in all those days of labor, I never needed to go to the hospital. I didn't have to know if "today is the day" because I didn't need to go anywhere. I was always in contact with my midwife and we were just ready. (My husband did end up missing work a few times though when I felt certain IT was happening). Sure enough, it finally did. (I always tell women that the only certainty in birth is that in the end, one way or another, the baby does come out!). I woke up around 5 am Sunday morning feeling something was very different with the contractions I was feeling. They were strong enough to have woken me up, and I knew it was happening. I went to the bathroom and saw blood. I called the midwife and she said she was on her way. I went back to bed and woke up my husband. We were calm, but so excited. Labor was slow. I had contractions every 3-4 minutes for the next 23 hours. I was dilating about 1 cm every 4 hours. (Again this is something I am so grateful that I was at home for, because I know in the hospital with progress like that they would have been pushing Pitocin on me). There were a few lulls in the contractions and my midwife suggested we call a woman who specializes in shiatsu and reflexology for birth. She came over and after an hour things really got going. Around 5 or 6 pm I had reached 5cm and my midwife said we could go ahead and start setting up the birth pool to use. I was so excited about this, as it was really motivating to watch my husband set it up and realize I was far enough into to get into the water! Unfortunately though, the pool was not all I had dreamed it to be (and trust me, all of my fantasies involved a water birth). I just couldn't get comfortable in the pool, and by then I was getting really tired and preferred either walking, or laying on the bed. (But every once and a while I would get in the water to change it up). Around midnight I was going through transition. I started shaking very intensely during contractions, but I wasn't moving past 7 cm. The amniotic sac was bulging out, my cervix was paper thin, but it just wasn't opening. Finally my midwife asked me what I was afraid of. She said whatever it was, I could say it. That I was safe. I yelled out to her and my husband that I was afraid to have the baby. I was afraid that I wouldn't know how to care for her, or how to be a mother. She told me that she knew I could do it, that I was so strong that I wouldn't be doing it alone. That space that she created for me, to let out my fears, created more space inside. I quickly dilated to 10cm and started saying I needed to push. My midwife checked me and while she did my waters broke. (I just want to add that every exam was at my request, she never did anything against my wishes or that I was uncomfortable with). Since the waters had meconium in it, my midwife said she didn't want me to give birth in the tub, and I was fine with that because I just wanted to lay on my bed. I started pushing on a birthing stool but felt really uncomfortable there. I remember not feeling the contractions anymore, just an overwhelming need to PUSH!! I was laying on my side, holding my left leg, with my head in my husband's lap. I was so motivated to push her out, because I just really wanted labor to be over. All I could think about was how uncomfortable and tired I was, and how much I wanted it to be done already! I couldn't even think about my baby much. Finally my midwife said she saw some hair and I just remember reaching a whole new level of energy to get the baby out and hold her. I reached down and felt her head and just started saying over and over "my baby, my baby". Finally, after an hour and a half, my baby emerged at 4:10 am. She slid out and I reached down for her and the midwife helped place her on my chest. I was so overwhelmed with love for her. I just remember crying and kissing her. It had been such a long journey to that moment. And in that moment I was born as a mother. That was my baby, she was finally in my arms. My husband was kissing me and we just cried with joy. I started rubbing her back and she gave out a cry. She was so beautiful.

For the first three hours she just laid on my chest. She was very quiet, but alert. After quite a long time the midwife suggest I try to get up to take a shower and we could weigh the baby and check her out. I took a few steps and then announced that I was going to pass out, and then I did. Now, for all those who always said to me "what if...." about having a home birth: I did loose a good amount of blood, and that combined with my exhaustion and low blood sugar from having not eaten for many hours (I just couldn't once things got intense) caused me to pass out. My midwife and husband helped me lay down in the shower (this all happened in the bathroom) and after a few minutes I was able to get up, rinse off and get back to bed (which my mom had already cleaned up, not that there was o much of a mess though, its really not as bad as people imagine). I laid there and ate while my little one was weighed and checked right next to me. It was wonderful. My midwife handled everything very calmly and I was never scarred for my safety. She kept checking my vitals (BP, temp, pulse) and after an hour felt confident that I was just fine. After she finished filing out the forms she needed to she went home for some much deserved rest. She called every few hours to check in and came back two days later to check on us. My husband baby, and I all exhausted fell asleep together for 4 hours.

My birth was the single most empowering and significant moment of my life. I say "my birth" because, while it is the story of how Arava was born, it is also my story of how I was born as a mother, and reborn as a woman. I could have never imagined I was that strong, and I have lived through some serious stuff. That experience gave me the strength to look at her on those rough days of motherhood and say "if I could do that I can do anything". Because even though I was surrounded by support and love, only I was the one going through labor. Only I was giving birth. No drugs, no machines, just my body and that is why I believe home birth is so incredible. It was just me in my home, where I felt safe, secure, and uninhibited. No strangers touching me or watching me, no confinement. I was free to move, make noise, eat, cry, laugh, moan... whatever I needed to do. And it was beautiful.

Sorry Honda, but Marriage and Babies Aren't the End of all Things Awesome.

2012-01-13T20:57:00.000-06:00

Have you guys seen these new Honda commercials? Well, the first is about all of the things you have to do before you get married, and the other is the same premise, except about babies. Ugh.

I'm sorry, Honda, but I wasn't aware that as soon as I put a ring on my finger and pushed a baby out of my vagina, all fun was illegal. Seriously, do people really think like this?

First of all, let it be known that I do NOT think marriage and children are for everyone. They certainly are not. Marriage and procreation are decisions that in no way should be taken lightly, and should only be something that you absolutely know you want to do. Because they take work. And because they are hard, but in a good way.

The first commercial, in which a man proposes to his very beautiful blonde girlfriend, shows her hesitating to say yes because she "has so much left to do." WTF!? One of things that she has to do before she gets married is go mountain climbing. I had no idea such activities were off limits to us married folk. Was the white water rafting trip I took on my honeymoon against the laws of marriage? Also, she says she has to finish her short film. Yes, because iMovie deletes itself once you say "I do." Seriously?!

Marriage, when you want it, is AWESOME. It has it's difficulties, yes, but in essence, it is an amazing thing. I love being married. No one knows me better than my husband. He thinks I'm gorgeous, even with snot on my clothes, milk stains on my shirts, and greasy hair from my lack of a shower. He leaves me notes in the morning. He does the dishes because I hate to (I clean the bathroom because he hates that. Everything else, we alternate.). We have extensive conversations about things I would never talk about with anyone else. Things like celebrity sex tapes (making fun of them, not watching them in a sexy way), and the best ways in which to pop a zit, the different sounds different zits make when popped, the levels of gratification when popping said zit. Aside from the mature conversation, we also are constantly supportive of one another. I support him with his job, music, and writing. He supports me with my job, writing, and other interests. It's a great feeling knowing you constantly have a cheerleader- someone in your corner. It gives a person a lot of confidence he/she may not have otherwise had.

If you think that marriage = the end of all fun, then please, for the love of God, DON'T GET MARRIED. Getting married should make you feel butterflies, and make you fall in love with that person all over again. Notice how I said getting married and NOT planning a wedding. Planning a wedding sucks. Getting married, however, is the light at the end of that cardiac arrest inducing tunnel.

As I said above, the second commercial is the same premise, but involves a woman telling her husband that she's ready to have a baby. Then, like the other, he says that he has so much to do first. Like build a fighting ROBOT. Yes, a robot. Again, I had no idea you can't do that once you have kids. Sure, you might not have as much time to build said robot, but a baby certainly won't stop you. Hell, you could probably program the robot to change diapers and fold laundry! He also says he needs to see the Northern Lights. Hmmm... I'm pretty sure they allow babies in Alaska. Just ask Bristol Palin.

Home Birth Guest Post Series: Heather's Home Birth of Kage!

2012-01-09T19:52:00.000-06:00

I'm trying to space these out a bit, but they are back! I have LOTS of home birth stories from amazing mamas to share with all of you!

Kage's Home Water Birth

I choose a home water birth because birth is a natural part of life, not a medical event. The more I read about hospital births the more I was absolutely sure that is NOT what I wanted to bring my baby in to even years before I ever got pregnant. My body was made to bring life into this world and all I needed to do was trust it and it would be able to do everything on its own and safely.

And my birth was Beautiful. I don't know if words will ever quite do it justice but I will try...

I was so excited when I went into labor at 2am on July 3rd. "This was it" I thought, "I will be holding you very soon. Now to just get through labor and birth...". Admittedly, I was a little nervous about the pain because it was my first birth. MJ (my husband) was my source of strength and support and helped me realize I could do it.

I labored most of the day in our bedroom on a huge yoga ball listening to Native American music with nature sounds. It was so calming and relaxing and allowed me to be in a Zen like trance. The pain wasn't pain anymore and I was able to focus all the energy on my body opening. I just kept thinking and saying "open, open, open, open" and picturing a lotus flower every time a contraction came on.

By around 9pm I was 6cm dilated. To help speed things up MJ and my midwife convinced me to walk from our 3rd floor apartment to the pool down the street to labor in for awhile. What felt like a hundred years and 3 contractions later we finally got to the pool. The cool water was so inviting to my huge, heavy, contracting belly. While in my trance (otherwise known as "laborland") I just stared at the stars. They were so hypnotic. Like I was dangling at the edge of the universe and everything else around me was a blur. I heard the conversations around me but I didn't understand them. "OH, soooo this is 'laborland' " I thought. I don't really know how long we stayed at the swimming pool, but when we finally made it back to the apartment I kept asking April (my midwife) "can I have my hot pool yet?!" She said I had to wait until I was 7cm and when she checked me around midnight I was 8cm dilated. Then finally April spoke the words I had been waiting so long to hear, "MJ, its time to fill the pool."

An hour later I was able to step into the pool and I just melted. The hot water was so relieving on my tired body. It was like a warm protective blanket being wrapped all around me. I took the position of squatting in the water with the top half of my body hanging over the edge of the tub. That position helps open my pelvis and would allow me to be working with gravity to help the baby to descend better. I got the famous 20-30 minute break between the Transition and Pushing phase and the hot water allowed me to finally get sleep for some time. When I was awaken by contractions, I felt this uncontrollable urge to push. I asked April, "My body wants to push! Can I push?!" she checked me and I was fully dilated and said "Ok Heather, I want you to try to give me 3 pushes with each contraction". "This is it" I thought, "here you come!". MJ held my hand tight and when I looked up at him, he had tears of joy running down his face. He was my most loving and confident support while I was pushing. I don't know what I would have done with out him.

After what felt like 5 minutes (but really was 30 minutes) of pushing the head was out. April told me "One last push Heather and you will be holding your baby!". And with that last push the baby was out! April pushed the baby underneath my legs and I lifted baby to my chest. I looked down to see and "Its a boy!!" I exclaimed looking at MJ who was smiling tears of joy. I looked at my beautiful baby boy for the first time and our eyes locked and our souls became entwined forever. "Welcome to the beautiful world Kage. I love you."

Kage John

Born: 6lbs 14oz at 4:32am

I'm 99% Sure My Son is a Robot

2012-01-07T20:55:00.000-06:00

Really. I'm not joking. Yes, I gave birth to all 9+ pounds of him, but as he gets older and older, I'm truly beginning to believe that he might not actually be human. I have come up with 3 possible answers: 1) He's a robot. 2) He's superhuman. 3) Someone has been sneaking him meth when I'm not looking.

So, why do I think that he might be a robot? BECAUSE HE NEVER FUCKING SLEEPS. EVER.

You see this face? Don't let the extreme cuteness fool you.
This is the face of NOT SLEEPING.

I'm not joking. He's never slept for more than 3 hours at a time (once or twice for 4 or 5 hours) in his entire 2.33 years of existence. He doesn't got to bed until 11pm or later, is up by 7 or 8am, and almost never naps for more than an hour. The upside here is that he typically isn't fussy. He never has been a big crier, and he is generally an exceptionally happy, well behaved little boy. Even when he's up into the wee hours, he's generally very jovial, and easy to care for. He's just never tired. He will straight up tell you, "I never sleep. I'm never tired!" The amount of energy he possesses would astound you. You'd think that I was mainlining espresso and then nursing him.

This is not a call for advice or judgement. I've tried everything imaginable to try to get him to sleep. Yes, we have a very consistent bedtime routine. Yes, he has been checked for underlying medical issues. Yes, I have cut things from our diets to see if that would help. Yes, I've tried putting him in his own bed. Yes, I've tried night weaning him. NOTHING WORKS. I'm telling you, this kid is superhuman!

Speaking of night weaning, I've been trying to do so for months on end, with absolutely no success. Since Kevin has been on break, we were being more aggressive with the night weaning. Until we were on our 3rd consecutive day with literally NO SLEEP. I'm talking not a wink. Sawyer is the product of two incredibly stubborn people, and the result is a child who will not give in. Like I said, he's normally very happy, but this situation was the exception. He was screaming for hours on end, completely inconsolable, because I refused to nurse him until the sun came up. Finally, at 6am, after 6 HOURS OF SCREAMING, he got in my face, and yelled, "I'll teach you. I'll teach you, Mommy. I won't sleep. I won't sleep ever again until you give me na-nas." And he meant it. He didn't sleep until the sun came up, and I nursed him, as per our agreement. This was the first time in my life I could say that I was afraid of a toddler. I knew in that moment that he was more determined than I was. He wasn't going to budge until I caved, and that was that. After 72 hours of no sleep, I have no idea how he did it. I think he's smarter than me already.

So, that's the story. My wonderful little boy never sleeps. I'm tired constantly, but it's been good training for my doula work, as I am often awake for days on end with little to no rest. If you see me tweeting or facebook-ing into the wee hours, now you know why. Because my kid is still up making me pretend soup or slaying dragons.

I figure, I have 2 options: 1) is to just go with it and enjoy our late night giggles and cuddles, as I am a night owl myself. 2) Somehow bottle his maniacal energy and sell it to cocaine addicts.

It's Just a Boob, People. Get the F#©% Over It!

2012-01-02T16:07:00.000-06:00

Really. That's all it is. A breast. A breast that biologically, mind you, was designed to feed a baby. Not designed for you to ogle at and drool over. Humans are mammals, are we not? Mammals are so named due to the fact that we have these things called mammary glands. What do mammary glands do, you ask? Why, they make milk to feed babies/young offspring!

Yet, in the U.S. at least, nursing moms are constantly told that nursing in public is "gross," "immodest," "indecent," and "inappropriate." Everyday, nursing moms are shamed by strangers, friends, and family. The most recent incident to make headlines was the Target Nurse-In at over 250 locations nationwide. I was glad to be a part of this act, even if only a handful of women showed up at my particular location. Soon after, NASCAR driver Kasey Kahne publicly bashed a mom for nursing in the grocery store. Several news outlets covered each of these stories, and the comments underneath them are horrific. Commenter upon commenter continuing to belittle nursing mothers. Telling them to "leave their tits in their shirts and use a pump, that's what they are for."

WHEN WILL THIS END?!?!?!

To play Devil's Advocate here, let's just say that a woman sat down with her baby in the corner of a store department of your local "K-Wal-Get." She began feeding her baby a bottle of formula. She was then approached by 2 K-Wal-Get employees who asked her to move to a fitting room or bathroom to feed her baby, because what she was doing was "making other customers uncomfortable." The mom notices that no one seems to be complaining about her. Her baby is quiet, and she is out of the way of other customers navigating the aisles. She tells the employees that she and her baby are fine right where they are, and she continues feeding her baby the bottle. Suddenly, several more K-Wal-Get employees surround the mother and baby and again, tell her she really should move to the fitting room or bathroom. Other customers start to see the crowd around her and begin to become curious. Finally, the mom leaves upset, angry, and humiliated. The mom goes home, and contacts the corporate offices of K-Wal-Get. She is told by the corporate employee that K-Wal-Get is a "family-friendly establishment" and that employees are told to direct bottle feeding mothers to fitting rooms or bathrooms because their actions could make other shoppers uncomfortable.

Miranda Kerr, nursing on the job.

This sounds insane, doesn't it?! Well, almost this exact scenario played out in a Houston-area Target store when a mother was nursing her baby. If a mom who is feeding her baby with a bottle would never in a million bagillion years be told to feed her baby in the bathroom, then neither should a nursing mom. Yet, it happens all the time. When Sawyer was about a year old, I was at my local Victoria's Secret store. He was in the carrier, and I was nursing him while I shopped for some underwear that didn't come out of a 5-pack. About 5 minutes into his feeding, a middle-aged woman (not an employee, but a fellow shopper) told me that I should ask for a fitting room right away, because what I was doing was "so inappropriate. You're in a public place!" I quickly asked her if she thought the girls coming out of the fitting rooms in their bra and panties to show their boyfriends/husbands their lingerie choices were inappropriate. Of course she said "No. This is a lingerie store! That's why we're here." I then pointed to one of the many bra ads. I asked her which was showing more skin: the models, or me? She turned about 30 shades of red and walked away. I felt extremely flustered, but also extremely proud of myself. From that day forward, I vowed to NEVER let anyone make me feel like feeding my baby the way nature intended was dirty or inappropriate.

Who is showing more skin? Miranda while nursing, or her co-worker whilst "working?"

I had another incident with a "friend" just recently over my participation in the Target Nurse-In. This was the first and only time I have ever gotten a negative reaction from a male over my nursing/nursing in public. He told me that if he had been at his local Target that day, he would have heckled the women participating. He told me that it was disgusting, that I should be respectful of others, and that my child was too old to be breastfed anyway. Needless to say, we aren't friends anymore.

To all the naysayers who have all of these "answers" for why you shouldn't have to nurse in public, or be uncovered, here is my rebuttal.

THEY SAY: Fine. Nurse in public, but at least cover those things up!

I have a cover. In fact, I have two. Sawyer never let me use them, so I never pushed the issue. Honestly, I found that I got more stares WITH the cover, as it is like wearing a giant flashing billboard that says, "BREASTFEEDING IN PROGRESS!!!!!!!! THERE'S A BABY ON MY BOOB!!!!!" Uncovered, most people thought I was just snuggling him or that he was sleeping. I take absolutely no issue with moms who choose to use one. It just never worked for me. However, I believe that it should be a mom's choice to cover, not a pressure that she feels from others to do so. All but 5 states have laws protecting nursing moms. In 45 states we can legally feed our babies whenever, wherever. Covered or uncovered. So, no, in those states, a mom can't be charged with indecent exposure.

THEY SAY: Well, that's what pumps are for. Pump a bottle before you leave the house. Give that to your baby.

First of all, pumps are meant to be used for when mom is away from baby. Like when mom is at work, or out with friends, or her partner. When mom and baby are together, baby should eat from the source whenever possible. Also, not all babies take bottles. I have one of them. I spent probably over $100 on various brands of bottles, and Sawyer never took any. Luckily, when I started attending births, he was able to drink expressed breastmilk from a cup using a straw, but even that was hit or miss. Some babies want the boob, and nothing else will do. Would you rather a screaming baby provide the soundtrack to your shopping experience, meal, flight, etc?

THEY SAY: Breasts are sexual.

Culturally, yes. Biologically, not so much. Breasts are designed to produce milk for babies and young children. In our society, yes, they also function as a means of sexual arousal (although, usually for the opposite sex!). This doesn't negate their primary purpose as feeding mechanisms. Also, lots of things have more than one purpose. Are we not supposed to use anything that can also be used in a sexual way? I can use my hands and mouth sexually, so to that end, am I not supposed to touch or kiss my baby?

Luckily, not everyone hates on nursing moms. The Stir posted an awesome article on how nursing moms need to be respected just like formula feeding moms. Even Facebook apologized for deleting photos of moms breastfeeding.USA Today ran a great article on the subject. We really DO need to just get over it! It's a baby eating. It's not a sexual display, it's not indecent exposure. It's lunch.

Maggie Gyllenhaal nurses in public!

And so do I. Although, this picture was taken in my bedroom. But I did share it on Twitter, so I guess that's technically nursing in public, then?

This isn't about breastfeeding versus formula feeding. It isn't about female sexuality. It isn't about modesty versus immodesty. It's about babies. Hungry babies who want (and deserve to be!) fed. Whenever, however, wherever. End of story.

My Birthday is Funtimes..... For Everyone Else

2011-12-21T19:10:00.002-06:00

This is my annual "I hate my birthday" post. Although, I've never actually posted about it. If you know me in the flesh, then you've heard my feelings on it. I just have to put it out there, so I can stop being a Grinch and move on. Here we go.

So, when is this birthday? It's in four days, which would make it December 25th, aka CHRISTMAS DAY.

Now, when I tell people the date of my birth, I get the same reaction EVERY. SINGLE. TIME: "You mean, Christmas DAY?!" Okay, if it were any other day, I wouldn't have said CHRISTMAS. So yes, that's my birthday. No, you can't buy me a combo gift. Unless it's a car, a new house, or an iPad.

The combo gift is seriously the worst. I don't care much now, obviously, but when I was a kid, nothing bugged me more. Growing up, everyone I knew had a very distinctive birthday "time", and then Christmas or Chanukah. Not me. Everything got lumped into one. Then, seeing one (usually crappy) gift and a comment of, "it's for Christmas AND your birthday!" just made seethe. If my birthday was in June, would anyone have done that? I don't think so. Not that birthdays are about gifts. But, I'm sorry, it really shows how little you care when you can't even get a BIRTHDAY CARD for someone. You just hand them a crappy knock-off Barbie® doll in snowflake wrapping paper, and tell them it's for both. Ugh. I just wanted someone other than my parents and grandparents to acknowledge the fact that it was my freaking birthday.

Competing with Santa and Jesus is impossible. Not that I try. I'm never going to be cooler than a fat man in a red suit who breaks into your house and brings you toys in the middle of the night. Oh, and Jimmy Buffett. He has the same birthday as me, too. I know this, because I was raised by ParrotHeads. ParrotHeads who would play Jimmy Buffett songs at Christmas in his honor. Yeah. That happened.

It was incredibly difficult to have a birthday party around the holidays. Everyone had other family obligations, were out of town, or otherwise unable to come. It sucked going to all of my friend's birthday parties, and they could never come to mine (either due to their family obligations, or there were years when my parents couldn't find time for a party for me due to our family obligations). It was really discouraging as a kid. Even now, it's almost impossible to plan a night out for my birthday. It's also hard to carve out time in a day that is by nature INSANE. My parents tried. They tried really hard. They always had (and still have) a Happy Birthday sign up and a birthday cake for me. They even tried celebrating my birthday in June or January, or whenever I wanted.

I obviously don't know anything else. I've seen other people on their birthdays, but I've never experienced it. My birthday will always be a sea of wrapping paper, fighting over who gets the shower next, incessant rushing, stress, and too much food.

On the bright side, I know that I am lucky to be here. I was born 2 months early, and was extremely healthy. So healthy that I was never in the NICU. I went home at the same time a full-term baby would have. Seeing what I have in my doula work, I know that is nothing short of a Christmas miracle.

That's me! On my 1st Birthday, and my 2nd Christmas

2012 Is Going To Be My Year, Dammit!

2011-12-11T20:30:00.001-06:00

My birthday is in 2 weeks, so I've been reviewing the past year of my life and figuring out where I'd like to go from here. So, this year hasn't been the greatest. It hasn't been the worst, either, but there's definitely some room for improvement. I have decided that 2012 is going to be MY YEAR. I'm going to make it that way. You hear me, Universe? THIS IS GOING TO BE MY YEAR!!!!!

HIPSTER GOALS FOR 2012

GET PREGNANT! (I also had this goal in 2011, but I KNOW it is going to happen this year!)
Sign up for my first round of classes to get the rest of my required classes out of the way so I can apply to Chiropractic school.
Get (mostly) out of debt.
Sell our mini van.
Buy a portable washing machine.
Help Kev get a new job.
Get S swimming lessons.
Find an additional location to teach HypnoBirthing®
Have 1,000 followers on Facebook and Twitter for this here blog!
Do more freelance marketing consulting for women-owned small businesses.
Be more positive.
Dye my hair a crazy color
Get in shape.
Be a better friend, wife, and mother.
Stop drinking soda.
Get better at knitting, like A LOT better.
Write more. Write often. Write awesomely.

Also, tomorrow, I will be guest posting over at Dead Cow Girl. She's a Dominatrix turned AP Mommy! The post will most definitely NOT be safe for work. But I hope you guys will like it. I'll post the link tomorrow morning.

What are your goals for 2011, Hipsters? Let me know! We're all in this together!

The Rock and the Hard Place

2011-12-04T20:11:00.001-06:00

Money is tight in our household. Actually, tight isn't even a strong enough word. Money is so tight it's strangled. My husband doesn't make a lot of money, and his work doesn't pay any portion of our health insurance, so his tiny paychecks are even more so. And while I am fairly steady with teaching and doula work, something always ends up happening (car trouble, holidays, unexpected medical expenses) and I have to use the money I make on those things, instead of us getting ahead. so we have decided to sell one of our cars.. I am hoping to every god, fairy, and universe that the little car doesn't have anything majorly wrong with it (I know it needs tires and maybe brakes) so we can keep that car, and sell the van. The van is big and a gas guzzle and I just hate it. Plus, we can sell it for twice as much as the little car, and we could DEFINITELY use the money.

Which kinda puts us in a weird place. We will sell one of the cars, for sure, but if we have to sell the little car, that will suck SO HARD. Not to mention, being a one car family will also suck. But I am prepared to do it. We need to do this. It will help us get out of debt, not to mention shave almost $200 off of our monthly bills. To us, this is HUGE. I know that to some, $200 is a drop in the bucket, but for us, it is a matter of being able to save money, or simply live paycheck to paycheck. As hard as it will be, I know it is for the greater good. We are paying it forward. These are difficult times, and sacrifices must be made.

But it's also so much more. My husband and I are constantly stressed out. We're hoping the finds a higher paying job in another school district for the next school year, but there's a good possibility that won't happen. Every month, I pray something doesn't go wrong so we don't have to shell out money we don't have. I worry about what will happen for our future. I know that times are hard, and we are by no means extravagant or reckless with our money. I just wish things were different. I thought that by working hard and being responsible, we would get ahead. So far, that is NOT the case.

I've had crippling anxiety lately because I don't know where we are going. Is having another baby a good idea? Is that why it's not happening? Can I handle any more stress? Can my husband? I hate feeling like this. I know my husband does, too. We've been having a really tough time lately, with us both being stressed out about various things, but also because we aren't exactly on the same page with some things. Sometimes I feel like we have the same argument over and over and over.

I feel like no matter what I do, I'm stuck. Things just keep sucking, and nothing I do helps. I could really use some positive energy right now. If you have any to spare, please send it my way!

Home Birth Guest Post Series: Elizabeth's Home Birth Stories!

2011-12-02T23:08:00.001-06:00

Our home has seen 3 home births-my youngest children, and my first grandchild.
I am a co-founder of ICAN. My second daughter was an emergency cesarean in 1979. My third child was a hospital VBAC, who weighed 10 lbs, 2 1/2 ozs. When I became pregnant 4 years later, i was a 35 year old overweight woman who had had an over 10 lb baby. If i'd chosen a hospital birth, they would have stamped high risk on my forehead and whisked me to OR as soon as I got to the hospital.

My midwives saw me as a strong woman whose body had worked well with two babies. I labored, off and on, for 3 days with Naomi, but finally birthed her on our bed, with my husband beside me, one midwife behind me, holding me in her embrace, and our 3 daughters and my mom watching. My mom cut her cord. It was peaceful, powerful and perfect.

Four years later, my granddaughter was born in our back bedroom, me holding my daughter up, her sisters watching, and my husband pacing in the hall outside. We had the same midwives, and the same loving care. Rosie was born with her tiny hand on her cheek, but Megan didn't tear at all, as her midwife knew to go slow and gentle, to coax her entry into the world.

A year and a quarter after Rosie's birth, Sam splashed down, very early in the morning. We hadn't planned a water birth. Sam was born face up. Every other baby, when it came time to push, I had a child in my arms 10 minutes later. With Sam, the first pushing urge I had was so painful that I immediately learned how to ignore it. Two hours later, my midwives ran a bath in our old claw-foot tub, and helped me into it. We were all exhausted. Hillary was leaning against the cabinet while I dozed in the tub. She told me that this baby was presenting differently than my others, and it was going to hurt to birth him or her. I needed to just deal with it. She went back to my bedroom to talk to the other midwives and Richard. If I couldn't push, maybe I needed to go to the hospital. At that moment, I had another pushing contraction. I let out a groan, grabbed the sides of the tub, and pushed Sam out. Everyone came running. Hillary made a grab for him, but he squirted out of her arms. Richard caught him and lifted him out of the water. Hillary placed him in my arms, and I looked at my beautiful babe. He had his legs crossed, and I thought he was our fifth girl. I said, "Oh, Zoe!"
Hillary said, "No, Liz, this one's a boy".
I said, "Are you sure?" at which point, he uncrossed his legs. Yeah, she was sure. It was pretty obvious we had a Samuel, not a Zoe.

It's Official, I Have the Cutest Little Boy of All Time!

2011-11-30T18:32:00.001-06:00

Of course I think that, I am his mother. But lots of other people say it, too. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I've taken S out where someone hasn't commented on how adorable he is. I chalk it up to the fact that he just has an exact replica of my face. Well, except for the blue eyes. He got those from Daddy. The blonde hair we're still trying to figure out.

Last week, my BFF Maggie from Maggie Cuprisin Photography took these amazing pictures of Sawyer at her studio. They are for his grandparents for Christmas. Luckily, none of them read this blog, so I can post them early! These are just a few of the many, but trust me, they are all freaking ADORABLE. Feel free to comment on what total dreamboat I created. :)

Being coy....

My little model!

This ND jersey belonged to my youngest brother, he gave it to S for his 2nd birthday

Merry Christmas!

His feet are huge. He wears a size 10.

Maggie took a picture JUST like this when he was 9 months old. I love comparing them.

Full Disclosure: Maggie happens to be my BFF, however I was a client of her's BEFORE we were friends. She does amazing work, and is incredibly patient, creative and talented. She was able to capture my little boy's personality and spirit in a way that no cookie cutter portrait studio could. Maggie Cuprisin Photography is located in Downers Grove, IL. For more information on Maggie, please click here. If you are local, make sure you check her out. You will absolutely fall in love with her work.

Lily Allen Isn't a "First Time Mom" & She Didn't Have a "Miscarriage" at 6 Months Pregnant

2011-11-26T17:09:00.001-06:00

I don't really blog about celebrities or the like, but for this, I make an exception. British pop singer and hipster goddess, Lily Allen, gave birth to her daughter yesterday in London. The celeb news circuit is a buzz with the story, and how she is "FINALLY A MOTHER" and talking about her "first-time mom" status. Except, she isn't a finally a mother. She isn't a first time mom.

Lily Allen on her wedding day, about 4 months pregnant with her daughter

A few years ago, she suffered an early miscarriage (somewhere in the 8-10 week range, it's been reported.) Then, in November 2010, she lost her son at 6 months gestation. Lily, quite rightly, has chosen to keep the details of her son's life and death private, so no one knows exactly what happened. The only details that emerged were that she had a "pre-term delivery." Her son very well may have been born alive. Even if he wasn't, at 6+ months of pregnancy, that is not a miscarriage. It would have been a STILLBIRTH.

The media continually perpetuating her loss as a miscarriage, especially when her son may very well have been born alive, just shows how much our culture refuses to acknowledge baby loss at any stage. Lily Allen lost a viable little boy. She had to birth and bury him. She had to carry and nurture his growing body for over half a year. She loved him and prepared and planned for him to come earth side. Then, she had to plan for his goodbye much too soon. She had to go to her home and look at all of the things he would never wear, the toys he would never play with, the room he would never sleep in, the chair she would never rock him in. I can't imagine how she got through it. As amazing and life-changing the birth of her new baby girl is, I am sure that there is a lot of sadness and longing, as well.

Loss at any stage of pregnancy is horrific. I am in no way trying to say that miscarriage isn't something to be upset about. It most certainly is. I'm just trying to bring attention to the fact that the media is inaccurately reporting this situation. After 20 weeks, a loss is no longer considered a miscarriage, it is a still birth. Also, like I said, no one knows if her son was born alive, and later died. That is a very real possibility, and definitely NOT a miscarriage or stillbirth. By the media refusing to acknowledge this fact, they are in many ways, denying her son the respect he deserves as a person. A little person who deserves to be grieved. A little boy who has a mother who will love him until the day she dies.

She is not a first time mom. She may only have 1 living child, but she is not a first time mother. She may have one child in her arms, but she will always hold another in her heart. And that shouldn't be ignored.

Home Birth Guest Post Series: Eli's Home Birth Story

2011-11-23T16:05:00.001-06:00

Thank you to Jen for submitting this beautiful story! There are MANY, MANY more to come!

ELI'S HOME BIRTH STORY

Our birth story probably actually begins Monday evening, September 13 around 10:30PM. This was the first night I had anything that I could consider to be "real" pressure waves. Instead of the annoying tightening all over my belly, I started having what I would describe as period-like cramping in the very bottom of my abdomen. The cramps would build up and then fade away. It was nothing I'd even call painful, just different. I started timing just out of curiosity and had 3 that were 12 minutes apart, followed by 2 more at 10 minutes apart. Then they faded away and I drifted off to sleep.

I had also been walking around with pretty severe backache for several days by this point. I'd sit at my desk at work with a roll of stickers between the small of my back and the back of my chair to try and counter the pain. The backaches were pretty constant though, no matter what I did to try and remedy them. Tuesday night at bedtime, I noticed some new discharge when I went to the bathroom that resembled snot. I didn't want to get too excited and brushed it off as nothing. Wednesday morning though, I had some additional snot-like mucuous -- this time it was blood-tinged. I knew then that it had to be part of my mucuous plug and bloody show, and I couldn't help but get a bit excited. I sent my husband, Scott, a text message at work about it. He told me he had to ask some of the women he worked with what the mucous plug and bloody show were, but that every woman he talked to was absolutely convinced that labor was imminent. He tried to convince me to go home to rest, but I knew that the mucuous plug can regenerate and that it could still be quite some time before labor would begin. I stuck out the rest of the day at work with no other incident. I even stayed a bit later to get some extra things out of the way and went to fill up my gas tank, because Thursday evening we had another prenatal appointment scheduled with our midwife, Pam, and I knew I wouldn't have time between work Thursday evening and the appointment to fill up.

I got home shortly before 6PM, intending to make eggs for dinner as I did weekly. I ran to the bathroom and while in there, I had another "real" pressure wave. This time, however, I finally considered it to be painful. I let Scott know that plans had changed and asked him to fix my daughter, Maia, something simple for dinner and then went into the bedroom to lay down. Scott followed me in and asked me what was going on. I told him I thought I had just had a real pressure wave and that this might be it for real this time. We began to time waves and they were coming at regular intervals of 7 minutes. I decided to take a shower and it helped to dull the discomfort a bit. When I got out, I went back into the bedroom to rest a bit. My mom called at that point and I let her know I thought I was in labor. She asked about how far apart pressure waves were and how painful I thought they were and then urged me to call Pam.

I put in my first call to Pam at 6:30PM. Her husband answered the phone and said that she had forgotten her phone when she left the house. He asked for my name and said he would get a hold of her for me. After I got off the phone with Pam's husband, I decided to try a bath. Scott put on my Hynobabies "Fear Clearing" CD and I sat in the tub for about 10 minutes. I found that I was very uncomfortable in the shallow water though, and very quickly got out and returned to bed to wait for Pam to call. By 7PM, I still hadn't heard from her so I tried her phone twice with no answer. Somewhere in all of this, I also managed to let my sister, Kelly, and my pastor's wife, Cindy, know that I was in labor. My sister thought I was kidding as she was at work and wanted to be present for the birth. She tried to get someone to cover for her, and had actually found someone to do so, but my mom forbid her to make the hour or so drive in the dark due to her night blindness. Cindy asked us to contact her when things really picked up so she could get some sleep.

At 7:20, I called Pam's phone one more time and her husband answered again. I asked if he had gotten in touch with Pam yet and he said he had. I let him know that I thought I was in labor and he told me he would contact Pam again. She called from another phone at 7:30PM. I told her that my pressure waves were 6 - 7 minutes apart for the past hour and a half and that they were lasting about 40 seconds. Pam asked if I was able to walk or talk through them, and I told her that I felt as if I was having to concentrate through them as I was having them in my back and front simultaneously and also mentioned that I was stooling between every other contraction, so my body was definitely trying to clear itself out at that point. She told me that she was in West Bend (about 45 minutes from where she lives), but was heading back to Fond du Lac (another 45 minutes from us) to get her supplies and would be to me as soon as she could. I jumped back in the shower afterward while Scott got the bed ready with plastic and our birthing sheets and then I laid on my side in bed with a heating pad pressed to my back.

By this point, I was having to use focused breathing to get through the waves. When Scott was in the room, he would massage my back while I breathed. When he was out of the room attending to Maia or other things, I'd do my best to massage my own back through the heating pad during pressure waves. Scott put Maia to bed and then he came to lay with me and massage my back. The pressure waves were gradually picking up in intensity and coming closer together, but I managed to stay calm and somewhat relaxed through them all.

Pam arrived at the house at around 9:15PM. She checked the baby's heart tones through a pressure wave and found that he was holding steady in the 120's. She also asked if she could check my cervix and found that my inner os was dilated to 1.5 cm and paper thin, the outer os was dilated to 5 cm and that baby was sitting at 0 station. Then she and Scott got started setting up the birth pool. Scott would come in to check on me occassionally and help to massage my back through another wave. I remember that I was dozing off between waves by this point and only waking long enough to breath through the peaks. I was tired as I'd been up since 7AM that morning and hadn't had anything to eat or much to drink since 3:30PM that afternoon. The pool took awhile to fill as the water heater had to refill in between. Pam came in to check the baby's heart tones through a pressure wave about once an hour and Scott also mentioned to me that Pam was sleeping on the sofa between monitoring and while waiting to add more water to the tub.

I think it was after midnight sometime when I was told that the tub was full and they were just waiting for it to cool enough for me to get into it. My pressure waves were coming every 4 minutes or so at this point and were at the most intense that I remember them getting, although they were still bearable enough for me to simply breathe through and try my best to keep my body relaxed, which I found helped to keep them less painful if I didn't fight them or tense up. We thought I had quite awhile to go yet, but apparently we were wrong.

Just before 1AM, my pressure waves suddenly changed directions. I began to involuntarily bare down and my water bag broke across the bed. All plans for using the birthing tub were pushed aside. I began loudly insisting that I felt like I needed to have a bowel movement. Pam assured me that I probably didn't need to, that it was my baby getting ready to come out. She checked me in between pressure waves and found that I had a bit of a cervical lip left over. She told me she didn't really want me to push. However, when the next wave came, my body again began to bare down without any help from me. It was next to impossible to fight it and I remember loudly letting Scott and Pam know this. Pam told me that if that's what my body was telling me to do, then I should allow it.

The pushing pressure waves were far less painful than the waves I'd been having all night, and it actually felt like a relief to be able to push. I continued to push on my side with one foot on Pam's shoulder for 10 or 15 minutes. Pam told me to change positions if my body told me to do so and I told her I thought I'd like to try pushing on my hands and knees. I got up on my hands and knees and felt like it was much more effective. With the next push, Pam told me she could tell I was doing the right thing by being in that position.

Around this time, I told Scott to go and get Maia out of bed. Things had changed pace so quickly, I hadn't had the chance to call Cindy to have her come over, but I decided to have Maia come down anyway. Scott brought Maia down, but she seemed a bit confused and disoriented, so she went to sit in the living room. I continued to push on my hands and knees. Pam and Scott began telling me to push gently; the baby was coming. Controlling the pushes was tough, but I apparently managed to do it. Next thing I knew, as I roared the baby into the world (at least I felt like I was roaring -- Pam insisted I made nothing louder than normal birth sounds) I was told that the head was out, then the body. At 1:30AM sharp, Scott got to catch our baby, who's right hand was crossed over left shoulder and tucked under the chin. Scott is all about bragging up the awesome priviledge of catching his own child now. I heard a nice, strong cry almost immediately. Then, Scott passed the baby through my legs to me and Pam and Scott helped me to lay back on the bed. APGAR scores were 9 and 9.

I didn't even immediately think to check the sex as I was so in awe that I had actually done it. I had my home birth. I did it drug free. And I was surrounded by the people I loved. After a many second delay, I looked and discovered that I had given birth to a beautiful, perfect son. Scott and I had come to the agreement that I would be able to name a boy and he would name a girl. So I gave him his name, Eli Robert James, and cuddled him close. My placenta delivered at 1:37AM and sat in a glass bowl next to my leg as the cord remained attached to my beautiful boy. Scott went into the living room to get Maia and she still wouldn't come into the room due to the blood that was on the chux pads beneath me. Pam took care of that and covered me up so the blood couldn't be seen, and then Maia finally came to meet her new baby brother. She seemed afraid to touch him at first, but she was smiling and clearly proud to be a big sister.

Due to some excessive bleeding, Pam decided to give me a shot of pitocin. This wasn't particularly surprising as I recall some excessive bleeding with Maia's birth as well. We nursed for the first time around 2:00AM. I was surprised at how strong his latch was and so happy to see him alert and looking at me while he ate his first meal on the outside. Eli remained attached to his placenta until around this time. Pam wanted to be entirely sure it had stopped pulsing before cutting it. Once she was certain that all of the pulsing had stopped, she clamped the cord and Scott got to cut him free.

Eli was not taken from my chest for 2 hours. We spent the first hours of his life cuddling, and nursing, and getting to know eachother. During this time, I also received a second shot of pitocin, because I was still bleeding more than Pam liked. She cleaned me up, finding that I did have a small tear; however, she thought that we might be able to get away with allowing the tissue to heal on its own. She then took Eli from me to check his reflexes and get him weighed and measured. All of his reflexes were present. He weighed 7 pounds 8 ounces and was 21 inches long. He had a 35 centimeter head and a 34 centimeter chest.

After measurements had been taken, Pam decided it was time for me to try and use the bathroom. Scott and Pam tried several times to stand me up, but I was far too light-headed from the blood loss. Pam checked more closely and discovered that the small tear was actually accompanied by a burst hematoma and it was found that this was likely the actual cause of the excessive bleeding. She decided to catheterize me first to empty my bladder since I was too dizzy to walk to the bathroom and couldn't convince my body to urinate on a towel that Pam had rolled between my legs. Afterward she stitched me up -- 4 stitches in all, but overall pretty minor. Pam didn't leave until after 7AM, when she was sure it was safe to do so. She promised to be back that evening to check on us and left me with an encouraging hug.

The birth of my son, Eli, was a healing experience for me. Maia's birth 6 years earlier had been very traumatic. Having my second child in the comfort and peace of my own home with only my husband and my guardian in attendance was exactly what I needed to move on and stop blaming myself for all of the things that had gone wrong the first time around. God's hand was truly on me throughout this pregnancy and birth. Praises to Him for the blessings I have received in the form of my beautiful son, Eli, the never-ending support of my husband, Scott, and the guardian angel and dear friend we have found in our midwife, Pam.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

before you were born I set you apart..."

Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV)

Why My Sister Is Awesome

2011-11-22T19:08:00.001-06:00

I have a sister. Her name is Sam. She is 19. She's crazy. She, unlike me, is very tall and leggy. She is also one of the most ridiculous people I've ever encountered, which is what makes her so lovable (and equally annoying at times!)

Yesterday, I was visiting my parents, naturally, my sister was there as well. Our dad told us to go get our toes done to treat ourselves, (mostly so he could have one on one time with Bones) and off we went. Sam always has some sort of ridiculous story or comment. She also makes up words constantly, or uses words incorrectly in hilarious ways. Needless to say, getting a pedicure was very entertaining.

Later, while we were cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, Sam was griping about how she needs to buy new bras because her areolas are falling out of her current ones. Which then led to a discussion about areola size. Apparently, large areolas run in our family. Now, we were trying to figure out which side of the family this came from. We both thought Mom. So, Sam, being the blunt, in-your-face person that she is, said, "Hey, Ma, do you have dinner plate nips?" To which my mom said, "WHAT?!" And Sam repeated herself. Mom finally said, "NO. Mine are normal sized. How big are yours?" Which then led to all of us showing (over our shirts, don't worry!) how big our areolas are. I couldn't stop laughing and had to excuse myself several times because I thought I was going to pee my pants. This also led to us discussing different types and variations of areola size, color, position, etc. It was hilarious. My sister's BFF even got in on the fun. Anyway, back to our search for the origin of the big nip. So, the big areolas aren't from mom. So, naturally, they must be from Dad's side. But we needed proof. Sam, again, being the super blunt girl, says, "Hey Dad! Lift up your shirt, I need to see if you have big nipples." And he did. And they were big. So apparently, the big areolas come from the Irish side.

And this is why my sister is awesome.

Did YOU Have a Home Birth?

2011-11-19T19:39:00.001-06:00

If you haven't gotten this already from reading my blog, I LOVE HOME BIRTH. I really wanted one with Sawyer, but as a first time mom who didn't have all the facts, I was easily dissuaded from it, which is something I deeply regret. Luckily, through my doula work, I have been able to attend and witness several home births, and see the beauty of them for myself.

So now, Hipsters, I am asking you, Did you have a home birth? If so, please share your story with me! I'd love to hear about WHY you chose to birth at home, the type of provider you chose (and why), and how your birth went. Please feel free to include pictures. To submit your post, please email me HERE.

I hope to hear from many of you, and please pass this post on to any and all home birthing mamas!

Simplifying the Hipster Household Part 1: Becoming a 1 Car Family?

2011-11-16T20:11:00.001-06:00

We are trying to simplify our lives here in the Hipster Household. We already live pretty modestly, but we are trying to be even more so. These days, can anyone really afford to be anything but frugal? I literally know where EVERY penny we have gets spent. I have no other choice. Yes, Kev is hoping to get a job in a higher paying district next school year, but there are no guarantees. We have to not only live wihtin our means, but we have to try to somehow get ahead as well.

After careful consideration (and being sick of giant repair bills!) we have decided to sell one of our vehicles. It's costing us WAY too much money, stress, and of course, there's the environmental element. Kevin teaches about 5 miles away. He can easily get a ride to work with a coworker when I need the car. Also, I teach on evenings and weekends, when he is home, so other than births, I don't really need the car that often. I know that it won't be easy, and we will have to keep our schedules very coordinated, but I know that it is doable. With the money we would get from selling one of the cars, we would be out of debt, and we could save anywhere from $120-$200 a month or more! Being without a car means no stupid trips for unneeded (and unhealthy!) fast food, no impulse buying, and no $70 fill-ups at the gas station. It also means our car insurance bill will be cut IN HALF. That's a savings of $600 a year in and of itself. When we wrote all these things out, the decision seemed obvious.

Now, we just have to sell the damn car, and hope the other one doesn't suddenly die on us once this one is gone. So, if you know anyone who is looking for a van, in good condition, let me know!

Also, I would like to hear from those of you who are 1 car families. How do you make it work? Do you think it's worth the extra money you save?

Cousins Sleepover

2011-11-15T19:52:00.001-06:00

Saturday, Sawyer's cousin Gracie slept over. We baked cookies, made popcorn, played games, and watched movies. They had the best time EVER. There were many tears in the morning when Gracie had to leave. So, here are some fun moments from their first official "Cousins Sleepover" as Sawyer likes to call it.

They had a flour fight, can you tell?

S striking a pose in his favorite shirt

Just a small portion of the MANY cookies baked

1 on 1 basketball

What I Miss Most About Pregnancy

2011-11-10T20:28:00.001-06:00

WARNING! THIS POST IS GRAPHIC AND SEXUAL IN NATURE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

I really loved being pregnant. I loved feeling my sons kicks, punches, hiccups, and twirls. I felt beautiful, purposeful, and sexy. The latter is probably what I felt the most. I felt so sensual and in touch with my sexuality, and my body. I was also the biggest hornball on the planet. All I thought about all day long was SEX. I don't think Kevin has ever been happier, especially considering my entire third trimester took place over the summer, when he was off of work.

It's been scientifically shown that sex is typically most enjoyable for women while they are pregnant, and that a woman is more likely to achieve multiple orgasms during pregnancy than any other time in her life.

Now, I'd never had a problem reaching the Big O before, but I can tell you that during my pregnancy, they were longer and waaaaaaaaaaaaay more intense. Also, towards the middle of my second trimester, I started having multiple Os. It was amazing. It was like being on psychedelic drugs. I felt AWESOME. Which of course, only fed my crazy sex drive even more. And then the more I had sex, the easier it became to have multiple orgasms. You see where this is going, right? Needless to say, we didn't leave the bedroom much that summer. Oh, multiple orgasms...... you're every girl's dream!

This was the only non-pornographic "O Face" I could find!

And that, my friends, is what I miss MOST about being pregnant (other than the baby, obviously!).

What was your sex life like while pregnant? Spare no details, Hipsters!

Also, after November (and the end of NaBloPoMo) I will go back to my "long post" format. :)

All I Want for Christmas.....

2011-11-09T19:32:00.001-06:00

So, my mom called today asking what all of us would like for Christmas/my Birthday (they happen to be the same day). I told her Sawyer wants a wagon, new pajamas, and some dress clothes. Kevin wants a gift certificate to his favorite record store.

That leaves me. "Remember, you can pick something big, since
it's your birthday, too!" says my mama. Well, all I really want for Christmas is one of these:

I don't think my mom can get me that for Christmas. So, I told her to buy me a Whole Foods gift card. At least I can buy healthy groceries, right?

Everybody Judges. EVERYBODY.

2011-11-08T21:14:00.002-06:00

I got into a little heat today for posting on the Blog's Facebook page about Michelle Duggar expecting baby #20. I was told that I was being judgmental and harsh. I guess that could be true.

First of all, I think the Duggars seem like very nice people and their children seem to be respectful, kind and decent. My real issue is not with the number of children that they have, my issue is that with her severe complications she had in her last pregnancy, Michelle Duggar is very much risking her and her baby's life. Now, I'm not saying that if you've had a complicated pregnancy, you can't have other children. I'd have no siblings if that were the case. I just think that maybe after 19 healthy kids (the last one being a TRUE MIRACLE), you should probably call it quits. Personally for me, I would never make the same decisions she has made.

That is my right. Just as she has the right to have a hundred children.

Yes, I have judged her. Everyone judges. The people telling me how I am mean because I judged Michelle Duggar are doing the same exact thing. They are judging me for judging her.

So, again, EVERYONE JUDGES. This blog is my space, my world, my feelings. You participate (or don't) freely. I am sorry if you don't agree with me, or don't like what you read, but I am not going to sugar coat my feelings in my "house."

Reasons Why I Love My Husband Pt. 1

2011-11-07T10:04:00.001-06:00

Sometimes, my husband leaves me notes on the kitchen table before he leaves for work. These notes are sometimes apologetic, silly, completely ridiculous, or just plain sweet. Every morning, without fail, the first thing I do is check the kitchen table to see if there's a little love note waiting for me. Usually there's not, but once a week or so, they appear.

This morning, I woke up, and checked the kitchen table. This is what I found:

This is just what I needed, considering I had a horrible day yesterday, and was feeling particularly hurt and upset. Also, we have the same initials, so that's why it's from KP to KP, in case anyone was confused. :)

I miss Pilsen.

2011-11-06T00:02:00.001-05:00

Pre-Sawbones, Mr. Hipster and I used to live in the Pilsen neighborhood of Chicago. It was awesome. It was cheap, full of hipsters much cooler than us, tons of awesome mexican food, and my favorite bar in all of Chicago. Tonight, I am really missing it. I miss that huge, cheap apartment with the worst insulation in the world. I miss the bedrooms that were the size of closets, and the kitchen that was 600 square feet in and of itself! I miss walking to the El each morning and getting a coffee on my way to work or school. I miss going out to new restaurants and art shows. I know it's not where I'd want to raise a family, but it was soooooooooooooooo much fun at the time. And tonight, I'm really missing that.

This used to be my view from the train platform. I love Chicago.

The Hipster Husband and I.... Then and Now

2011-11-04T18:43:00.000-05:00

My husband and I have been together for almost 9 YEARS now. 3.5 years of that being married. It's safe to say, that in our almost decade together, we've grown and changed quite a bit.

When we first started dating, he was going to school in Peoria, and I was still up here in Chicagoland. So, our first months consisted of me driving 2 hours in my crappy Ford Tempo to go see him. As much of a pain as it was, I really loved those weekends. We'd be so happy to see each other, and all we wanted to do was lay in bed and kiss and laugh together.

Then, he transfered schools, and moved closer, but we were still almost an hour away from one another. It was that way for years. We saw each other only on the weekends, or maybe on week night, if we were lucky. He was in school full time. I was working 2 jobs, going to school full time, and I lived with my grandma- helping her care for my ailing grandfather. After my grandfather passed away, I really didn't want to move back home. My parents and I get along MUCH better when we have some miles between us. I moved home for a couple of months, and then, Kev and I moved in together.

We got super dressed up for our dates

It was really, really hard! I thought I knew everything about him (we had been together for almost 4 years at this point!) but whoa. Living with someone is not easy. I went to college locally, so I never had the experience of living in a dorm or apartment with a friend. He was my very first roommate. It took some adjusting.

With that said, we had so much fun, too. We threw amazing parties, went out all the time, helped each other with home work, and generally basked in our mutual awesomeness.

So, here it is for you, fellow Hipsters..... a "life in pictures" so to speak, of Mr. Hipster and I. Pre-kid(s).

We got our picture taken together just because.

We threw awesome parties. I was Jem, here. Truly Outrageous!

Proof of the awesome party part.

Further proof.

We went to art shows. And we BOUGHT stuff!

I wore a bikini IN PUBLIC!

And now...............

This little guy changed everything

We still get our picture taken together, just because.....

Everything that came before was wonderful, exciting, and fun. But this is better. Way better.

Why I Kinda Get Polyamory, and Why You'll Be Seeing A LOT of Hipster This Month

2011-11-03T20:06:00.000-05:00

I am participating in NaBloPoMo, or Nation Blog Post Month, in which bloggers are challenged to post every single day in November. Since I can hardly get it up to post once a week, I decided this was an awesome challenge to pursue. I only missed November 1st, so that's not too bad, right? Here we go.

With the TLC show Sister Wives becoming so wildly popular (I admit, I am kind of addicted to it!) I've been having more and more discussions with friends and family about the concept of polyamory- being in more than one intimate relationship at a time, with the consent of all involved. Some are adamantly against it (my husband comes to mind, here!), while others think that it is simply a throwback to the "it takes a village" mentality from generations past, and still others fall somewhere in the middle. Now, we aren't talking about the religious implications of polygamy or polyandry here, we're just talking about the idea of having more than one spouse. I'm not here to discuss Fundamentalist Mormonism or other religions that advocate polygamy or polyandry. My goal here is to discuss polyamory from a strictly secular point of view.

While I wouldn't personally want my husband to have more than one wife (I am waaaaaaaaaay too jealous of a person for that to work!), and I certainly think 1 husband is more than enough for me, I have no problem with the idea of a group of consenting adults deciding to engage in a relationship or marriage.

Not only do I not not have a problem with polyamory, I also kind of get it. I have laryngitis. I'm not supposed to be talking very much. Well, I have a 2 year old at home, so that's not exactly realistic. I'm also alone with him all day from 6:30am-5:30pm or later. Not to mention, my son hasn't been feeling well this past week, and has been ornery and obstinate. Another "Mommy" around would certainly be a big help to me at a time like this! I can't help but admit that there are times I wish that I had another woman around to help Kevin and I with the daily grind of chores and parental duties.

I also understand it from the standpoint of not wanting to feel isolated by parenthood. It's so easy to become detached from the outside world as a mom, especially if you stay at home full or part time. It's not hard to go stir crazy, or feel like there's no point in ever dressing in anything other than yoga pants and sweatshirts. If I had another adult to hang out with all day, I'd probably feel a little less like a caged animal at times. It would be nice to get another adult's perspective on an issue I had with my child. It would also be nice to know that my child had another safe adult to go to when he/she had a problem.

It's the whole sex part that I don't like. I'd love to have this sisterly awesomeness with another woman, but to think that she was banging my husband on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays would make me go bat-shit. I wouldn't be able to have the "it takes a village" kumbaya lovey-dovey sister wife thing because all I would see when I looked at her would be her doing X-rated things with my husband. As you can see, it's a good thing Kody Brown doesn't live in Chicago. I'd never make it in that household.

On the flip side of this, I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER want more than one husband. I have joked with Kevin about how I want Adrian Grenier and John Krasinski to be his "Brother Husbands," but in reality, I'd rather have no husband at all than 2 or 3. Keeping one man happy, and staying happy with one man is plenty for me. Although hot sex with Adrian Grenier would be awesome. I can't deny that.

So, from a purely secular standpoint, what do YOU think of polyamory?

I'm Sick.... Of Everything

2011-11-02T18:55:00.003-05:00

I have laryngitis. It sucks. I sound like a bad cell phone, or a chipmunk, depending on the time of day. Also, I'm constantly coughing because it feels like there is a feather in my throat, and coughing is the only way it feels better. It's also strange to not FEEL sick. I feel fine. I just can't talk, and I cough incessantly.

When I am sick, any feelings I'm holding in come straight to the surface. Right now, I am so angry, I can barely sit still. I am literally pacing the house like a caged animal. I am angry at every single person I know, and not just that general feeling of being mad or pissed but, seriously, legitimately mad. If you named a person in my life right now, I could give you a detailed response as to why I'm mad at them. I don't want to feel this way, but I do. If I were feeling 100%, I would just let it go, but when I'm sick, I just can't. So here it is.

I AM FUCKING ANGRY AT THE WORLD.

I am angry that my husband works way too hard, and is disrespected by others because of it on a daily basis. If I hear another person complain about how teachers "have it so easy" or "make too much money as it is" or that "teaching is a woman's job, he should get a real one" I will fucking explode. My husband works LONG, HARD hours to help make a difference in the lives of his students. He gets paid very little. We pay over $1,000 a month for a crappy HMO on top of that microscopic salary (We don't qualify for any state insurance. We literally miss the cut-off by about $150). I hate the fact that he has to go to grad school for something he doesn't really want a master's in, just so he can help us a get ahead in the long run. I hate that our culture has such disdain for teachers. I hate that when a parent sends him a nasty email, he is in such turmoil, it ruins our time together as a family. I hate that between long hours grading and grad school, we have no quality time together. The time that he is home is usually spent taking Sawyer out for daddy/son time so I can get work done, or I am out teaching or doing one of my freelance marketing gigs. Most days, I feel like we are roommates instead of spouses. We do our best to make time for eachother, and there's no question that the love is there (probably more than ever, actually). There just aren't enough hours in the day. I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

I am angry that we live in a 2 bedroom apartment, with no washer or dryer, no real outdoor space, and no room to grow. I hate that we will probably not have a house in the next 5 years. We work hard, we pay our bills on time, we are good people. I thought this was supposed to be the type of thing that got you ahead?!!? Isn't this what we were always taught? I just don't see the "American Dream" becoming our reality anytime soon. I'm also angry that our "4th Roommate" is a mouse that has decided to squat in our house. It's disgusting and gives me the heebie-geebies like nobody's business.

I am angry that everyone in the freaking world is pregnant but me. Seriously, EVERYONE I KNOW IS PREGNANT. Now, just because they are pregnant and I'm not doesn't mean I'm not happy for them. I am. I'm ecstatic. But it doesn't mean that I'm not a little jealous or sad, either.

I'm angry that people think my jobs are a joke. Being a doula and childbirth educator takes passion, dedication, and a mass amount of knowledge and patience that not everyone possesses. Not to mention the fact that after that 35 hour birth, I don't get to go home and sleep for 12 hours. I have to go home and be a MOMMY to a 2 year old boy who needs me. There are times where I don't sleep for days. I'm pretty sure that's work.

Most of all, I am angry because I feel like I am one of two things to most of the people in my life: 1) a doormat or 2) invisible. I am so sick and tired of people constantly piling things on me and just expecting me to do it and smile. I am always happy to help someone when I can. It makes me feel like a good person, and I like the fact that people depend on me. But I have limits. Right now, I have reached mine. Sure, I'll drive you to work. Sure, I'll walk your dog and feed your cat. Sure, I'll watch your kid. Sure, I'll house sit for you. Sure, I'll drive 45 minutes out of my way to get you something you need. Like I said, I am happy to help the people that I love. Need a ride? I'll take you. Sick? I'll bring you homemade soup. Having a rough day? I'll bring you a coffee and let you vent. Need a night out? I'll watch your kids for you. It's what friends do, right? The thing is, I can't remember the last time anyone did anything like that for me. The bright side of this is at least these people acknowledge my existence, even if it is for their own personal need. There's a whole other set of people who just pretend I'm not here, or that I don't matter. I'm tired of being the only one who puts effort into many of my friendships. I'm sorry if my being a mother somehow makes you feel weird. I can't help that. But it doesn't mean that you get to treat me like I'm invisible.

Before I get jumped all over, YES I KNOW THAT THINGS COULD BE WORSE. But does that mean that I don't get to have feelings? Honestly, I think that's why I am as angry as I am. I've been holding these feelings in because "things could be worse, I should be happy with what I have." I agree, that yes, my husband and I could both be out of work, we could have a sick or dying child, etc etc. I know that we could have much worse, and there are many out there that do. I'm just saying that at this very moment, the world can suck a big fat one.

So, there it is for you guys, my big middle finger to the world.

My Uterus Has Turned Against Me, and My New Love of Mama Cloth

2011-10-24T10:54:00.000-05:00

Several months ago, when my husband and I decided we were ready to haphazardly try to have another baby, I had a long talk with my uterus. I told her, "Remember that really awesome baby we grew? Yeah, let's do that again. Remember the placenta that was so huge it was coming out of the bowl? Yeah, me too. You were super amazing last time, so keep up the good work!" I think she laughed at me. I've had several talks with her since. Now, they are a bit more hostile, such as "WHAT THE HELL, DUDE?!" Especially since the past couple of months I've had spotting several days before my period is supposed to start (probably due to low progesterone from breastfeeding), and then I know I have no more hopes of a baby that cycle. It's just cruel. Most people would be happy that they didn't have to hold out hope for several more days, hoping and wishing for a baby that was never there. I, however, actually kind of like that extra time. Since it's been robbed of me the past 2 cycles, I've come to appreciate those days of wanting and wondering. I know that we will have another baby. That isn't the part that I'm stressing about. I'm stressing over the fact that it is taking so long to happen! I feel like the body that I've grown to admire and trust, is working against me.

I know that my uterus and I will be friends again, eventually, but right now, we are at odds. She, apparently, wants to stay vacant. I want her occupied. SOON.

This also leads me to my new love of mama cloth aka cloth menstrual pads. If you saw on my Facebook Page (become a "Liker" now if you aren't already!) Last month, I ordered a few pads from an awesome company called Party In My Pants, which was highly recommended to me by many of you. I have to say, I am totally IN LOVE with them! The products are high quality, affordable, and so awesome. Also, the fact that I received a hand-written note (That I kept to take a picture of, but now, of course, I can't find it!) and a piece of dark chocolate with my order was so sweet. I am a total sucker for personal touches like that. PIMP totally sold me on them just with the note! Back to the pads themselves, I use them mostly in tandem with my Diva Cup, but on light days, I use them alone, and they are so comfortable and absorbent. Disposable pads were starting to irritate my skin, but I feel nothing even close to that with PIMP pads. Plus, since I already wash cloth diapers, it's no more laundry than I'm already used to. I just toss them in with the diapers, since they aren't heavily soiled anyway. I'm hoping to get a few more for Christmas (hint, hint, Mom!) but for now, the 4 that I have are doing me just fine. If you are hesitant about mama cloth, I urge you, just buy ONE and see how you like it. The next day, you WILL be ordering more! So, even though I'm pretty pissed about having my period, these cloth pads really make it a lot more enjoyable.

Please note: All opinions are my own. I bought these pads with my own hard earned money, and this post is in no way sponsored by Party in my Pants. I just really love their stuff, and I think you should, too. :)

Things to Never Tell a Woman Who is TTC

2011-10-15T19:49:00.000-05:00

I love preggos. I love babies. Honestly, there's nothing in life that I love more than these two things. I love them so much, I'd be pregnant all the time if I could! Which, if you have followed this blog in the past few months, has been sort of an issue for me. We've been trying for several months for another baby, with no luck. Many well-meaning people have commented on this, and while I appreciate their sentiment, I do not, so much, appreciate their words. Here are some things you should NEVER say to a woman who is trying to conceive:

"You should just stop trying. Things always happen when you stop trying." (Really? REALLY?!?! Because we've been 'just winging it' for 9 months with no results. I think it's time to start TRYING.)
"You're just too stressed out to get pregnant. You need to relax." (To this person, I give a resounding FUCK OFF!)
"You'll never get pregnant until you stop breastfeeding. He's way too old for that anyway." (Hmmm. Suck it. Pun intended.)
"At least the practice is fun, right?" (Yes, yes it is. But do you know what's MORE fun? The multiple orgasms I get to have when pregnant.)
"It will happen when the time is right." (Yes, I believe this to a point, but it's hard to hear that when all you want is another baby. Screw the "right time!")
"You should try to adopt. Then it'll happen right away!" (Someone else told me this, it wasn't said it me. Thank God. If it did, someone would be getting sucker punched.)
"You should just be happy you have a child at all." (Yes, because wanting more children means I'm not happy with my son???)
"Well, I never even had to try. All he had to do was look at me!" (Well, good for you. Thanks for making me feel like I have inferior ovaries.)

So, if you know someone who is trying to have a baby, please, do not say any of these things. Just give her a hug, and let her know that you're there if she needs to talk.

Making Amends with the Girl I USED to Be (and How We Were BOTH Feminists in Our Own Right)

2011-10-10T22:40:00.003-05:00

I am a feminist. I make no apologies for that. In my almost 28 years on this earth, my feminism has changed as I have, and evolved with me. This is my journey.

I think I have been a feminist since I was in the womb. A Feminist is merely a person who believes that men and women are equal. Not necessarily the SAME, but equals nonetheless.

As a teen, I was a lot like the stereotypical "angry chick" that you see portrayed in movies and such. You know, kind of a loner, read a lot of Sylvia Plath, mad at the world, full of teen angst.... I was basically Julia Stiles in "Ten Things I Hate About You." I believed myself to be a hardcore feminist. I never wanted to have to rely on a man for anything. I was never going to get married, and probably never have kids. And if I DID, I was either going to adopt them or go to the sperm bank. I wanted everything in my life to be my own. I wanted my own apartment, career, and friends. I didn't want anything to be shared. I didn't want to be like my parents. I was determined to create a life for myself, so that if I ever wanted to just pick up and leave forever, I could. I didn't want to have to answer to anyone but me, myself and I.

And then the first week of college, I met the man who would turn out to be my husband. Suddenly, (and trust me, not at ALL by choice!) I was this mushy, romantic sap, who was totally, completely in love with a boy. A boy I could see myself marrying. And then the panic set in. Was I still a feminist? Was I still independent? What if we got married and had kids? Would I still be a feminist?!?!

Fast forward about 6 years, and I had just given birth to my son. Birth was SOOOO empowering, amazing, and life-altering. I had never felt more proud to be a woman. I felt so in touch with my womanhood, and I never wanted to let that go. Then, as my son's first weeks flew past, I had to think about whether or not I would return to work. I decided against it. The wine industry had been hit hard by the recession, and the cost of daycare against my salary would mean I would be bringing home almost no money anyway. Also, as much as I didn't want to admit it, I couldn't stand the thought of leaving my baby for one second. Before I was pregnant, when Kevin and I talked about having kids, I figured I would work, and he would be the stay at home dad, and go to grad school at night. Now, things were totally reversed. I was staying home, he was working, and I had no idea what that meant for me. Had I become June Cleaver? How the HELL did I get here?! How was I even married?! Who was this person I had become? What happened to the girl who was never going to depend on ANYONE? Were all the feminists who came before me spinning in their graves?! Had I single-handedly set womankind back 50 years!?!?! These were the types of thoughts racing through my head as I stared at my new baby in the middle of the night.

I had a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that I didn't want to be that corporate career driven woman I had dreamt of anymore. I had to make amends with the girl that I used to be, and realize that I had grown and evolved, but that didn't mean that I had suddenly given up my right to vote or own property. I wanted to be the best mom I could be, and later, I would realize that I wanted to help other moms and babies come into the world in a peaceful, gentle manner. If I hadn't decided to go the route that I did, I never would have found my true calling in life. I never would have become a doula, childbirth educator, or writer (which oddly enough, is what angry teen me wanted to be all along!).

I had to come to the realization that, yes, I am STILL a feminist. I believe in equal rights for women. I believe in equal pay for equal work. I believe in making men an equal partner in domestic life. While I am not a stay at home mom anymore, I do stay home most of the time. I feel most at home in that role, quite honestly. This was the best decision possible for my family at the time. As my husband likes to remind me, I quit my job to provide for my family.

And somewhere, in the distance, I hope that 16 year old angry spitfire of a girl can see that, too.

UPDATED! People Are Creepy (and somehow they find my blog!)

2011-09-30T16:11:00.000-05:00

For the past few months, I have been compiling a list of the crazy things people google and somehow end up clicking on my blog. Most of these are pretty perverted and gross, but some are just sad. Also, I figure if I list them all here, these pervs will have a one-stop shop for their nasty google searches. :)

Among my favorites are:

Public tit grab (Really? REALLY??! I'm guessing this was either a 12 year old, or a very sad, sad man.)
Juicy lactating boob (Mind you, in the original search, lactating was horribly misspelled.)
Mother cunt birth (I don't even know where to begin with this one, and it's been searched MULTIPLE TIMES.)
Woman nursing topless in public (Yeah, because that happens. Well, I guess maybe at a topless beach?)
Woman breastfeeding husband or just "breastfeeding husband" (EW! Unless you have a plugged duct. Then, he's just being helpful.)
Breastfeeding Orgasm (I'm assuming they want to see a woman who leaks milk when she orgasms, or a woman who orgasms from breastfeeding?)
Stretched out childbirth vagina (I think that one speaks for itself!)
What is a woo girl? (I'm glad I could provide answers to this!)
Why does my toddler pull on my nipple? (Girl, I wish I knew....)
Angry breastfeeding (????)
Mother daughter tea with fallopian tube pancakes (I'm so glad someone else saw that sex ed video in school!!!!!!)

There are more, but these are the ones that most caught my eye. Hope you enjoy. :)

UPDATE: 10.11.11
These are just too good to not list. Here we go....

Sexy yoga pants, thick girl
Lactating Hipster
Bitchs 2011 hair cunts hipster
❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔Basking in my own awesomeness
Hipster pda homemaker
Hipster boobies
"Attachment parenting" "Assholes"

You are welcome, internet.

My Husband, The Lactivist

2011-09-26T19:59:00.002-05:00

A lactivist or lactation/breastfeeding/nursing activist is usually thought to be a woman, right? Most likely a mother, who is nursing or has nursed her child(ren)? Well, here in this wonderful group also lies my wonderful husband. Truth be told, he was a lactivist before I ever was.

Kevin and I hadn't been dating for more than a few months (we were 19 at this point) when completely out of the blue he said to me, "Just so you know, whoever I marry, I fully expect to breastfeed our children. I don't want my kids having formula."

I was blown away. We had just started dating! And he already wanted me to know he expected that babies be on my boobs for god knows how long?! Yes, my mom nursed some of us. Yes, I had seen other women nurse. I KNEW it was what is best for all babies. However, at 19 years old, young and vain, that line really creeped me out.

A few years later, my beautiful niece was born. Her mom nursed, and I was very supportive and interested. But I was also kind of an idiot. I would ask questions about supplementing (because, don't you HAVE to?!) and how she knew the baby was getting "enough." I also did something that looking back, was very douchey. I bought my niece's mom a nursing cover, you know, so she could keep things "private." Now, I had NO PROBLEM WHATSOEVER with nursing in public. I thought it was awesome that my niece's mom never felt the need to cover up. But, I also thought that she didn't have one, and it seemed like every nursing mom did, and maybe she'd like it. I really, truly thought I was being nice. Roni, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry if that offended you! Kevin never batted an eye when he saw my niece being nursed. He thought it was awesome and was very encouraging. If someone said something about my niece being nursed, he was the first to defend. I thought that was so sweet. We were about to be married and this made me feel so enamored with him, and I'd be staring off, daydreaming about what an amazing dad he was going to be someday.

Fast forward about a year and a half later, and we had a baby of our own. I was hell bent on nursing, and Kevin was (and still is!) my biggest support. He read breastfeeding books with me, went to classes, and talking with the lactation consultant. When Sawyer was born and they tried to push formula for absolutely no reason, he let the nurses know that we were just fine nursing and our baby didn't need anything extra. He stayed up countless nights with me getting Sawyer latched, making sure I was hydrated, and helping me with everything else so all I had to do was nurse the baby and heal. When others would ask why I wasn't giving the baby formula, he would jump in and let them know that wasn't an option for us. He would never let it go any further, and always had my back.

When I would have rough days with nursing, I would flashback to that night when we were 19. This wasn't just important to ME, it was important to my HUSBAND. He wanted this for our baby well before he was ever a father. He could have offered bottles of formula, or told me to just give up when things got tough. He never once said anything that wasn't 100% supportive or encouraging.

Publicly, he is the same. There have been days when he has come home completely livid because one of his coworkers said something negative about breastfeeding. He always takes the time to set them straight, and stand up for nursing mothers. One of his coworkers recently talked about how nursing past a few months is just "disgusting and so weird." Kevin quickly let her know that Sawyer still nurses, and it's not weird at all. It's natural, normal, and BEST for babies and small children.

There was another instance when some of his coworkers were discussing a woman who was breastfeeding at a major league baseball game. They were ranting about how it was so gross and inappropriate. One even asked another male teacher, "Would you ever allow your wife to do THAT at a baseball game?!" (This comment irritates me on so many levels!) Kevin let them know that it was a mother's legal right to nurse her baby whenever, wherever, covered or not. Babies have to eat, too!

So, nursing mamas, we are not alone in this fight for nursing as the norm. There are good men behind us, and I'm lucky enough to call one of them my own.

What Do You Do When Your Family Thinks You're a Weirdo?

2011-09-19T16:53:00.001-05:00

I am crunchy. I believe in natural parenting methods. I breastfeed my toddler. I use cloth diapers. I take a lot of supplements. I use homeopathics. I love chiropractic care. I use green cleaners (most of the time) and try to eat as healthy as I can (again, most of the time!). And for this, I am a freak, apparently.

I come from a pretty typical middle class American family. Although, my family is huge. I have 29 (soon to be 30!) first cousins, and I am the oldest on my dad's side. My dad's side of the family also all happen to live within walking distance from one another. This causes what I like to call the "Everybody Loves Raymond" effect. But with A LOT more people. Everyone has a key (or garage door code) to everyone's house. Everyone just stops by. Everyone gets together every Friday for Family Fun Night. This brings a lot of closeness, fun, and love. But sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it makes you feel very alone, and very much like a total weirdo.

My parents are very supportive of me and my "crunchy" ways. My mom helped me so much with breastfeeding and healing in my immediate post partum period. She was also an amazing support to me during Sawyer's birth.

The rest of my extended family, however, doesn't really see eye to eye with me. I mostly take it in stride. We all have different beliefs and values. We've all experienced things that have led us down our own path. Many of them didn't breastfeed, or didn't breastfeed for very long. Most did not have (nor want) natural births. The thought of taking a childbirth class and having a doula seemed like a complete waste of time and money to them. A Birth Plan?! Isn't that what your DOCTOR is for?! Using a midwife? ARE YOU INSANE?! You see where I am going with this.

When I told my family that I wanted a natural birth, they thought I was crazy. Or that there was no way I would actually go through with it. I got a lot of, "What are you crazy?! Take the drugs!" comments, or "Oh honey, you say that now, but just wait til you're actually in labor. You'll be screaming for the epidural." "You better send that baby to the nursery! You don't want it on you the whole time!"

When I told them I was going to breastfeed, they thought that was just so "silly." Why would you want a baby attached to you all the time? Don't you ever want to leave the house? Formula is JUST AS GOOD!

Well, then I had my baby. Without and epidural. Without him ever leaving my sight. Without a drop of formula.

I got (and still get) a lot of comments on breastfeeding. To this day (over 2 years later!) my grandma asks me "How long are you going to do THAT?!" every time she sees me nurse. There have been a few times in the past couple of months that they have made comments when Sawyer asks to nurse. They say things like, "You don't need that crap!" or "He ASKS for it now!?" The former really hurts me. What I give him is about as far from crap as you can get. What I give him is a fluid so full of life we can't even fully comprehend exactly how it works so well.

The most hurtful comments are about my job as a doula and childbirth educator. They think it's an absolute joke. That it's a made up profession and a fad that will quickly pass. That I'm wasting my degree to be a "glorified stay at home mom." They don't at all understand why anyone would want to PAY someone to help them learn about birth. "Isn't that what doctors are for?" Anytime I come from a birth or a class, they just roll their eyes and pretend to not hear me. Don't even get me started with their thoughts on home birth!

I love my extended family, I really do. They love Sawyer immensely and are so eager to be a part of his life. I just wish they were a little more understanding of our choices for him and our family. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, and although I disagree with them on many things, I accept that they have every right to think that way. I just wish they felt the same about me.

So, what do you do when your family thinks you're a hippie weirdo? Like I said, I mostly take it in stride and don't say anything. Sometimes, though, I just want to scream! Or punch the wall. Or slap someone. Sometimes I wish that they just accepted me for who I am, or at least have the decency to not belittle my choices. Am I alone on this?

Is your family supportive of your parenting style? Like mine, is some supportive and some not? How do you handle it?

Hipster Happenings 9.12.11

2011-09-12T14:40:00.001-05:00

This was supposed to go up last night, but I was nursing a "birth hangover" so, I didn't get a chance to finish!

So, the Hipster week in review:

Last weekend, I was interviewed for a book! I forgot to mention that in last week's HH post. I felt very fancy, and hopefully I answered the author's questions thoroughly and I don't come off as a dumbass.

I also finished some knitting projects (I'll post pictures and patterns later this week!) and am in the middle of about 5 others. I LOVE knitting baby hats and blankets, but blankets take so long! I've been working on the current one for like 3 months, and it's only half done. I also want to learn how to knit socks and leg warmers so I can make my own baby legs, and grown up ones for me, too! I have a slight obsession with knee-high socks. They're the only kind I enjoy wearing.

Friday, I drank a bunch of espresso and did a LOT of work. I also wrote this post, which I think is my best yet. Please check it out and pass it on to any preggos or future preggos in your lives. :)

Kevin and I went to a wedding on Saturday. Our friends Joe and Jill got hitched! Congrats! It was such a gorgeous wedding, and I had a beautiful vintage dress on (I actually wore it to my and Kevin's engagement party many years ago, so it has good vibes associated with it, too!) and during the ceremony, it ripped up the slit in the back and everyone saw my butt. Yup. So, between the ceremony and reception we had to go to the store and buy me a new dress. Thank God for clearance racks!

I also found this amazing post about the fact that a healthy baby isn't the ONLY thing that matters. I really wish I had written this. I have been working on a post on this topic, but I think this author says it better.

Just a reminder, my fall HypnoBirthing® series begins on Saturday, October 1st. If you would like to sign up, please click here! If you sign up by Thursday, you will receive $75 off the class fee.

Also, I really want to turn this blog into more than just an outlet for my thoughts and beliefs. I want this to be an interactive and supportive community. So, please, if you haven't already, follow me on Facebook and Twitter (click on the icons on the upper left of the page!) and share the blog with your friends. The more Hipsters we have out there, the better, right?

Beatles (and baseball) fanatic!

The best thing that happened to me this past week was that Sawyer has become obsessed with The Beatles. This isn't anything too new, as we used to have to rock him to sleep to "If I Fell" for the first year of his life, but now he is openly vocalizing his love for the Fab 4! In particular, at least this week, he loves the song "Birthday." Which I happen to hate, but that's okay. He'll move on from it, and pick a better song for me to play on repeat.

So, here's a video of my kid dancing his life away to The Beatles. (Note: I know it totally sounds like he's saying "I like wieners!" but he's actually saying, "I like Beatles!" I swear. No really, I swear. Also, please pardon my messy house.)

If You Put More Effort Into Your Wedding Registry Than Your Baby's Birth.......

2011-09-09T22:18:00.001-05:00

You might make me introduce my head to my desk.

The birth of a child is supposed to be a sacred, monumental, and spiritual event that completely transforms mother and father. Then why are there so many parents today who refuse to take any responsibility for their babies' births?! I personally know several couples who put much more time and research into what toaster or vacuum they were going to put on their wedding registry than their child's birth. Personally, I find it sickening. You are about to bring a living, breathing PERSON into the world. Don't you think that deserves some serious thought and preparation?!

The US is currently ranked 40th in infant mortality. That is NOT good. We also have a 33% C-section rate, and a 23% induction rate. There are many things that are to blame for these dismal numbers, and one of them is lack of parental education and responsibility.

We have more and more babies every year who are born too soon, or with too many medical interventions, and that is partly because parents don't stand up for themselves or their babies. More and more babies are being born midweek. Is that a coincidence? No, it's due mostly to scheduled inductions and c-sections. When a tired, very pregnant mother who doesn't know her options complains to her doctor about being so pregnant, what do they say? "Well, we can induce you and you can have your baby tomorrow!" (Okay, not ALL doctors will do this, but many will, and as a doula, I've seen it happen more than once.) When you are induced, you raise your risk of c-section to 50%.

An MSNBC article earlier this year showed that less than a third of first-time parents took a childbirth education course. So, 67% of first time parents are literally flying by the seat of their pants into this whole childbirth thing.

I asked a few friends and acquaintances why they didn't educated themselves for the birth of their children and their answers were all the same. "Well, it's not my job to know, it's my doctor's." or "Well, I'm getting an epidural so I don't need to know how it works." I then ask them, "So, if you were going to have surgery on your heart, you wouldn't educate yourself at all about the procedure? About the risks and benefits? Investigate possible alternatives?" They all said, "Well, of course not. I'd want to know what was happening!" So, why is birth so different?!

What about your choice in provider? If you were ill, you would make sure that you had a doctor that was competent, and whose values and attitude towards care management matched yours, right? Many of the women I talked to didn't even research their care provider, or even their options in care. You can have a hospital birth with an OB or a certified nurse midwife. You can have your baby at a free standing birth center (not in Illinois, but lots of other places!). You can have your baby at home with a midwife or doctor. You can also choose to have a doula support you in addition to your medical care. We provide informational, physical, and emotional support.

What about educating yourself about pregnancy? Is that your doctor's job, too? What about when your care provider is pushing you into something? Shouldn't you have educated yourself to know your options and your rights? Just because something is "protocol" doesn't mean that it is necessary, or that is right for you and your baby. Don't want an epidural? Find a midwife or doctor who supports natural child birth and has a low c-section rate. Don't want genetic testing? That is your right, you can refuse it. Want an epidural? Go for it. Just make sure you understand the benefits and risks. Want a c-section? That's also your right, again, make sure you understand the risks involved, and what alternatives you have.

Well, what about BEFORE you get to the hospital? Don't you want to know what things can help you then? What about signs of labor? Signs that there could be something wrong? What about after the baby comes? Don't you want to know about what they will want to do to your baby and what your options are? Things like erythromycin, vitamin K, vaccinations, circumcision, breastfeeding, formula, skin to skin contact, pacifiers, rooming-in, the list goes on and on.

Like I said above, if you took time to register for gifts for your wedding, to pick the colors, the flowers, the dress.... why not treat your baby's birth with the same kind of reverence? The birth of a child isn't a joke, and it isn't a responsibility to be passed off to someone with some fancy letters after his/her name. It's a miracle. It's also an obligation to protect someone who can't protect himself.

LADIES, TAKE BACK YOUR BIRTHS!

Please, EDUCATE YOURSELVES. You are bringing a CHILD, A PERSON into this world. That should be something that is taken with the most high degree of regard and seriousness. Know your options. Find a supportive provider. Take a REAL childbirth class (not the hospital one!). Find out what you and your partner want for the birth of your baby. Figure out what kind of entry you want your child to have into this world. Figure out what kind of parent you want to be. YOU are your child's ONLY advocate. Be a good one.

Hipster Happenings/ To The Boy Who Made Me A Mommy

2011-09-06T11:01:00.003-05:00

I am a few days late in posting this, but I sufficiently wore myself AND the birthday boy out, so I was unable to finish it in time.

My little boy is 2 as of September 1st. He had a wonderful birthday and later, birthday party, filled with food, family, friends, and fun. I can't believe how quickly the time has flown by. I remember his first days so vividly, I swear, he must still be a newborn! There's no way I have a full-fledged 2 year old BOY (no longer baby, as he loves to remind me.) So here it is. What I want to say to Sawyer on his second birthday.

Dear Sawyer,
You're 2!!!! How did this happen?! You're growing up so fast. I feel like the few hours I'm gone from you, you grow miles and miles and learn paragraphs of new words. I'm so glad we get to spend so much time together. You're my shadow, my playmate, and my partner in crime from the time you wake up until the time we go to sleep at night. I love that you are endlessly curious and want to know everything about everything. I love that you can name every dinosaur known to man, and correct me when I get them confused. I love that you know the lineup for the Chicago Bulls from 1991-1998. I love that when you run up and hug me you say, "Mommy, I caught you!" I love that when you run, you have to announce it by screaming, "RUNNING!!!!" as you zoom past me. I love that you'd rather eat tomatoes than pretty much anything else. I love that you charm the pants off of everyone you meet. I love that you will probably be the first person in history to need an intervention for breastmilk. I love that you think it's so cool to watch birth videos with me. Most of all, I love that you love me so much, and I am so proud to be your Mommy now and always.

Here are some pictures from Sawyer's Birthday Party!

I'm Not Ashamed of My Period. Period.

2011-08-29T17:53:00.000-05:00

Last year, I read the book "Cunt: A Declaration of Independence" and while some parts of the book were a little odd (the section on sex workers really rubbed me the wrong way), I found that much of it really hit home. In the first part of the book, the author discusses how we as women are trained to be ashamed of our bodies, and in particular, our menstrual cycles. This couldn't be more true!

I remember being in 4th grade and having the boys separated from us, as we watched these HORRID movies about getting your period. One was about a sleepover where a girl got her period, so the mom made fallopian tube pancakes. I shit you not. Then, we were given a black plastic bag that had deodorant, pads, and pantiliners. Most girls stuffed the bags under their shirts and shoved them into their backpacks with red, flushed faces as soon as we got back into the classroom. I didn't. I kept it in my desk in case I ended up needing it. I got a lot of flack for that. I remember being told how "gross" that was (um, they were unused!) and what if a boy saw them?! Honestly, if a boy can't handle seeing an unused pad, he has bigger issues.

Then, later, well into high school, I remember being literally screamed at by more than one of my "friends" for not being discreet enough when handing another "friend" a tampon at the lunch table. We're all girls, we all used tampons or pads, seriously, what was the big deal? It was just a tampon! I couldn't believe that as young women, we had to feel such shame and hatred for something going on within our bodies, especially with each other! Why couldn't we be a support system for one another through this if we were having issues? It's still something that cuts very deep for me.

That brings me to one of the book's next points. Ms. Muscio talks about "Menarche parties" in which mothers throw a celebratory gathering for their daughters when they get their first period. Everyone wears red, and brings a red gift, and offers some sort of advice (on life and growing up, not necessarily on having your period), and they talk, eat, and support one another. I LOVE THIS. I hope that, one day if I have a daughter, I can do this for her. I don't want her to feel shame or hate towards her body or how it works.

As women, our bodies are such miraculous things. We grow people for crying out loud! Then, we nurture those same people with our own bodies, giving them milk made especially for them. This should make us feel empowered.

The products that most women use during their periods are also made to make us feel shameful and dirty, and the means in which they are marketed to women are ridiculous and about as far from reality as you can get. Look at those stupid commercials! Running on the beach in slow motion, using that weird blue water, and of course, the twirling. Why is there always a woman twirling? Commercial pads and tampons are also filled with chemicals, and can cause adverse reactions and vaginal infections. According to the Herbal Advisor, many tampons and pads contain dioxin (just like disposable diapers!) which is a highly toxic chemical. I, myself, am trying to get away from using tampons and disposable pads as much as possible for these reasons. Not to mention, it's a waste of money! I often get remarks of "That's SOOOO gross" when I talk about menstrual cups and cloth pads. What is so gross about it? It's no more gross than pulling a bloody string and throwing it in the trash! Others say, "I just couldn't do that. I can't touch myself that way." If you can put in a tampon, you can use a menstrual cup.

Since I had Sawyer, I have been using the Diva Cup (a menstrual cup, there are several brands, this is just one!) and it has seriously changed my life. I used to have 10-14 day periods, and I would have to change a super plus absorbency tampon every HOUR. With the Diva Cup, I have noticed that my periods are shorter and lighter. My cramping is also much better. I used to be doubled over in pain for days each month due to cramping. Not anymore! I still get a fair amount, but it's nothing that makes me completely unable to go about my daily life. It takes a little bit of a learning curve, but once you get the hang of it, it's very easy to use. It can also be safely left in for 10-12 hours! As a very tired mommy, this comes in handy. I no longer have to set an alarm to change my tampon in the middle of the night. (Note: Diva Cup did NOT sponsor this post in any way. I just really love the product!)

I still use disposable pads (just in case the DC leaks or on light days) and I've started to have bad reactions. In my first weeks after I had Sawyer, I actually had diaper rash from the pads! It was painful and so uncomfortable. I'm trying to move away from them, but it's difficult, because I don't have many other options right now. I have ghetto rigged some "mama cloth" aka cloth pads out of some old cloth diapers, but they don't really stay put well and I only have a couple.

So, fellow Hipsters, if you use mama cloth, what brands do you like? What styles do you use? I need some help! I'm sick of using plastic, chemical laden pads! Also, how do you feel about your monthly cycle? How do you want your daughter(s) to feel about it?

Hipster Happenings and Happy Birthday to Mr. Hipster!

2011-08-28T22:06:00.002-05:00

I can't remember anything that I did last weekend. I know that I worked a lot from home, went to a quick overnight birth, and taught a class. Other than that, I have no idea.

Sawyer is still having a hard time with Kevin being back at work full-time, and therefore, so am I. He also decided to take a 4 day nap strike, which lead to emotional meltdowns for all. As I write this, I realize this is probably why I don't remember anything that happened this week.

Wednesday and Thursday I had my great Uncle's wake and funeral. It was very sad and hard for me to see some of my more distant cousins mourning the loss of their grandfather. Our grandpa's are brothers, and mine passed away a little over 5 years ago. It's a pain I don't wish upon anyone, let alone people I love. So, right now, my heart is very much aching for all of them.

Sawyer, however, was the star of the otherwise somber event. He was stunning everyone with his massive knowledge of animals and dinosaurs. He also learned his full name this week and was introducing himself to everyone he saw. He tends to do that. He's very shy, but when a tense moment arises, he somehow drops the shyness and whips out the charm. He's a lot like his Daddy that way!

I was too tired Thursday night to drive the hour home, so Sawyer and I stayed the night at my parents' house. He was ecstatic as usual. Then, my parents made me watch Jersey Shore with them because my dad wanted to see "The Situation" get his ass kicked. Too bad I'm pretty sure that whole fight was actually on tonight's episode?

The rest of Friday, I answered emails, and got things together for Sawyer's birthday (which is this week!).

Yesterday, was my husband's birthday. Let it be known that he HATES his birthday (this is the 9th we have spent together, so I should know!), and no matter what I do to make it nice, he is still a grumpity ass-face. So, this year, I decided to work for most of the day. It was awesome for me, but Kev wasn't too happy. He's worn out from the first week of school and his new students, and is just a giant grump-monster. Even a sushi dinner couldn't cheer him up!

Today, something amazing happened! One of my very favorite mommy bloggers liked my Facebook page (and so should you!) and that made me feel really special. So thanks, Jill, you made my weekend! Then, I taught most of the morning and afternoon, and made a nice, traditional Italian dinner for Kev. I think it's the happiest I have seen him around his birthday in YEARS! Admittedly, I felt a little bad about ditching him for work on his birthday. But it had to be done. I couldn't sit around the house hearing him bitch about how everything sucks and his life is terrible and his birthday always blows. You're talking to the girl who shares a birthday with JESUS and has to compete for attention with SANTA. I get upstaged for eternity. Suck on that. Then, we were lamenting about how we are so sick of people only inviting us to lame ass stuff because we're parents. Or even worse, just not inviting us to anything because they think we must not want to do anything fun now that we've procreated. WE WANT TO GET OUT OF THE F-ING HOUSE! Just allow us enough time (aka a few days, a week is even better!) to get a babysitter. Or you might have to settle for one of us and not both. Unless you just don't want to be friends anymore, in which case, you obviously suck.

So, because I know you all want to see this, here are some pictures of the Birthday Boy!

This is "Summer Kevin." He doesn't shave or cut his Greek boy afro all summer.

Wedding Memories. :)

His all-time favorite picture with Sawyer

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I DO Have a Job, Make That MULTIPLE Jobs, Thank You Very Much!

2011-08-22T19:20:00.000-05:00

This post is dedicated to all of the SAHM (Stay At Home Moms) WAHM (Work At Home Moms) WOHPTM (Work Outside the Home Part Time Moms), Doulas, Childbirth Educators, Moms going to school, and every other Mom who works an "unconventional" job.

I wear many hats. I am a doula, a HypnoBirthing Practitioner, a writer (obviously!), and I also do some sporadic consultation work for working moms to help with their business' marketing needs. I can be a pretty busy lady at times. Oh, not to mention the fact that I have a husband and an almost 2 year old to care for. On an almost daily basis, I get to hear things from people about how I "have it so easy" and I'm "so lucky to not have to work." EXCUSE ME?! Last I checked, I had a job(s). The number one job being MOMMY.

That brings me to my first point. The "Stay at Home Mom Thing Isn't Really a Job" comment. Could anything be further from the truth? SAHM work harder than anyone I know. They have to keep their children alive, fed, bathed, and entertained. They also have to maintain a home, coordinate schedules, and deal with the fact that people constantly look down on them. I exclusively stayed at home until Sawyer was 6 months old, when I started attending births as a doula. It was incredibly hard. I felt like I got nothing accomplished most days, because all I managed to do was keep the baby nursed, clean, and happy. Then, I realized, THAT IS A HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT! It's a lot of hard work and energy to lovingly care for a child or (especially) multiple children. I usually found that people were also not very understanding of my time or my schedule. They thought that since I stayed at home, I didn't have anything to do all day and was never busy. I would get a lot of flack for not answering my phone or for not being able to do them favors. Yes, because as a SAHM I'm also everyone's personal assistant? I also often (and still do) got comments from people asking when I was going to return to work and "contribute," or that I must be lazy and unmotivated or have no life goals. SAHM do contribute immensely to their families. It takes so much time, dedication, effort, and patience to stay at home with your children. It doesn't mean that they have "no life goals." Before I had Sawyer, I worked two jobs and went to school full time. Trust me, as hectic as it was, it was easier than staying home. And by the way, since when is wanting to be a mother not good enough to be considered a life goal? None of us would be here if it weren't for mothers, right?

Next up, the WAHM. I think WAHM have an even harder time getting people to understand that they work than a SAHM. Just because your office is also your home, doesn't mean that it's just a hobby or it's not a "real job." Many of these women offer such great products and services that I am so happy to support. I love buying cloth diapers, baby items, gifts, and photos from WAHM. You ladies are awesome. I, too, work from home for part of my business ventures. I have to advertise for my classes and doula services, my freelance work is done from home, and I obviously blog from home as well. It's a difficult balancing act, but Kev and I do our best to make sure that I have schedule that I stick to because my job is just as important as his. He loves to remind me of this, too, when I let the nay-sayers get to me and I worry that I'm not "contributing" enough to our family.

WOHPTM also have it rough. They work outside the home, but not the typical 40 or 50 hour week that the typical WOHM does. They, too, get the "Oh, but you don't REALLY work" comment. Um, they do. Between teaching and doula work, I am out of the house anywhere from 5 to 30 hours in a week. Sometimes more depending on how many babies decide to show up. :)

That leads me to my last group. The "unconventional jobs" group. Especially us doulas and childbirth educators. We are often told that what we do is just "some made up fad" or "not really a job." Believe me, it's hard work. It's also the most rewarding thing that I've ever done. It breaks my heart when people say things like that about my job. I help women and families bring their babies into the world in the way they have been hoping for, and I help them deal with their emotions and options when they can't get what they want. When someone says, "Why would anyone ever pay you for something like that?" or "Do you get paid for this crap?" it can't help but sting a little.

So what am I? I guess I am all of the above. I stay at home, I work at home, I work outside the home part time. And I wouldn't change it for the world, because I know that I make a difference to the families I work with.

This post is in NO WAY a shot at Moms who work outside the home full-time. They just don't get told that they don't have a job, since, well, they do. I have the utmost respect for ALL MOTHERS, and their jobs alike. :)

And since Sawyer's 2nd Birthday is approaching, I leave you with some past Bones cuteness. He's about 4 months old in these pictures, and is a big old fatty!

The "Sexy Baby" pose

Look at those chub rolls!! I miss them now that he's a skinny minnie.

Always so coy for the camera!

Hipster Happenings

2011-08-17T21:52:00.000-05:00

I've decided that in addition to my weekly topical post, I will also post each week about whatever has happened in the Hipster Household. I realize that some of you may think this is just some bullshit filler, and that's cool. To the rest of you, I hope you enjoy the goings-on of my life. :)

So this is what has happened in the Hipster Household as of late......

Last Friday, I went to my parents' house for a visit, and because I had some business to attend to. You see, a very smart woman on Craigslist was having a garage sale and posted what she was selling at the garage sale on CL, so you could contact her and she would hold it for you. I saw that she was selling a Fisher Price play kitchen for $10, so I asked her to hold it, as she lives about half a mile from my parents. I thought I was just going to get a good deal on an old toy for Sawyer, but it turned out to be so much more. I took my sister with me so she could help load the kitchen into my van. We were in this lady's yard looking at some other stuff, and I felt what I thought was a dog brush against my legs. I went down to pet said "dog" and it started oinking. IT WAS A MOTHER F-ING PIG!!!!!!!!! And we're not talking one of those teacup pigs. We're talking about a big ass farm pig. I almost peed myself with excitement. His name was Hamlet. We're now BFFs. I'm seriously considering calling this woman in December and asking if Hamlet can be in our Christmas card.

That same day, I found out about Savannah Guthrie of the Today Show likening nursing in public to public urination. I exclaimed from my computer chair, "WHAT THE FUCK!?!" Only to then hear my son chirping those same words for about ten minutes. Awesome. Thanks a lot, Today Show. You really screwed me here, and I hope you liked my awesome letter about why you guys are totally wrong and should apologize for what was said. Don't even get me started on Star Jones and her ridiculous comments.

My husband is back at work, and this brings a lot of tears for everyone. It's really hard on Sawyer, especially. He got so used to Daddy being home over the summer, and now that's come to an abrupt end. Every morning this week has been met with "I go see my Daddy now!" and then, "No! Daddy is NOT at work! Daddy is HOME!" Only for more tears to be shed when he realizes that I'm not lying. Daddy is at work. I miss the ability to shower whenever I want, or someone to help me change diapers and take Sawyer to the park so I can take a nap because he kept me up all night kicking me in the face or being a blanket hog. I am thankful my husband has a job at all, let alone a job that allows him to be home for the summer, but seriously, THIS SUCKS. I hope Sawyer gets over this soon, because it's breaking my heart having to explain to him all day why Daddy isn't there.

This is what I'm dealing with right now. Poor guy.

In other news, my great Uncle died last night, so that sucked. He lived a good, long life, and I know he is in a better place, reunited with his brother (my Papa) and the rest of his nuclear family. RIP Uncle Bud. You were awesome.

Due to that, I didn't really sleep much last night, so when Sawyer awoke this morning, I asked him if we could watch a movie and snuggle so I could half-sleep for a little while longer. He grabbed my face very tenderly, smiled and said, "Sure, Mommy, but I'm going to need 2 cookies for that." WTF?!?! I am living with some sort of pint-sized negotiator! I am in some serious trouble with this kid, that's for damn sure.

Also, today is PICKLE DAY! Our neighbors grew way too many cucumbers and therefore made a bunch of pickles. The jar has been in my fridge for 2 weeks, waiting for today. They are now ready for consumption. They are also delicious. I should know this because I ate half the jar already, and Sawyer ate the other half. Thanks John and Danel!

Oh, and I was teaching a private class today, and on my drive up there, I spilled an entire glass of iced tea all over my white shirt. That was awesome.

Finally, I leave you with this picture. It's from when Sawyer was just a few days old, and it randomly popped up on my Facebook and I thought I'd share. Hope you enjoy.

So what have you all been up to, fellow Hipsters? Don't forget to "Like" my page on Facebook. I post lots of fun stuff on there. :)

Hey, Remember That Time I Had No Feelings For 6 Months? (My Story of Overcoming Postpartum Depression)

2011-08-11T18:45:00.000-05:00

On September 1st, 2009 at 4:58pm the greatest moment of my life occurred. I gave birth to my 9lb 4oz son Sawyer, after 38 hours of labor. I was ecstatic. About 15 minutes later, I birthed my placenta with only a small cough. In that one moment of my placenta detaching and emerging, I felt almost all emotion drain from my body.

This is my very honest, sometimes startling story of Postpartum Depression, and how I emerged.

What I didn't realize until months later was that this was the beginning of my battle with Postpartum Depression. For the next 6 months, I felt as if I was watching someone else's life, or that I was in a movie, as strange as that sounds. I had very little emotion towards anything or anyone other than my baby, I was completely self-loathing, and I was horribly anxious ALL. THE. TIME.

Let's start with the detachment. This was my most noticeable symptom. I was very attached to my baby, but not to anything or anyone else. I remember vividly thinking that I couldn't care less if anything happened to Kevin. Someone could have shot him in the head in front of me, and I wouldn't have batted an eye. I didn't care about seeing my friends or showing off my new baby to them. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone and shut the hell up so I could get some rest. Friends would call to make plans to come over and see the baby, and I would either ignore their calls and messages, or I would tell them that it wasn't a good time. That the baby was having a "bad day." Except, it was ME. I, not my perfect, sweet baby, was the one having a bad day. I simply went through the motions of life. I got up, took care of the baby and the house, and went to sleep. I mostly stayed in bed and read the Twilight saga. I felt like I wasn't actually living. That I was just somehow watching this person, that wasn't me, do all of these things. I was a happy, bubbly, sweet person. I was NOT some detached, blubbering mess of a woman who could barely handle a perfectly content baby. That leads me to the self-loathing part.

I've always had issues with confidence, self-doubt, and self-acceptance. Crazy hormones after having a baby did not help this situation. I felt so overwhelmed, anxious, and fearful about my abilities as a mother. I felt like I couldn't handle it, or that I wasn't handling it. Every morning I woke up with a feeling of impending doom. How was I going to screw up my kid today? How drained and exhausted was I going to feel by the time Kevin got home from work? I constantly felt like there was something wrong with me. Why was I feeling this way? I had a great birthing experience, and a perfect baby. I did everything I could to reduce my risk of PPD. Why was this happening to me? What did I do wrong? The few times I brought up these feelings to people I was sort of brushed off and told, "Well, this is just the way motherhood is. It's overwhelming. You better get used to it." or "You have a GREAT baby. You don't even know what tough is." This only led me to feel more depressed and hopeless. If I couldn't even handle a happy baby, how was I going to do this for the rest of my life? How was I ever going to have more children?

I also HATED my body. This was a big change from how I felt about my appearance when I was pregnant. While pregnant, I felt so amazing. I felt so full, round, fertile, and sexy. Postpartum, however, I felt like a deflated Barbie doll. I had saggy, stretch-marked skin, ridiculously full boobs, and a body that I did not recognize in any way as my own. So, I did something, that in retrospect, was pretty scary. I threw out, sold, or gave away almost all of my clothes. I pretty much only kept the sweatpants. I was convinced that I would never be pretty or skinny ever again, and therefore, only needed to wear sweatpants. Kevin tried to talk to me about this, because it really concerned him. I mean, this is the kind of thing people do right before they commit suicide. I have no recollection of it, but he says I completely flipped out on him and cried for hours. I believe him, but I couldn't tell you what either of us said. To be clear, I was never suicidal, but still, throwing away all of your clothes is a pretty alarming thing to do.

The worst part was the anxiety. I cried a lot. I worried constantly. I was afraid to go anywhere or do anything. I thought something horrible was going to happen to Sawyer. What if he had some terrible illness? What if we got in a car crash and died? What if I accidentally dropped him? This was only made worse by the fact that Sawyer had an undiagnosed undescended testicle that caused him discomfort while laying at a 45 degree angle (like in the car seat) and would scream like you were killing him. I was convinced that I was killing him, so I rarely left the house until he was about 6 months old and the undescended testicle was diagnosed and surgically mended.

So how did I get through it? Well, I had gone back to my doctor when Sawyer was about 12 weeks old for my annual exam. He noticed that I seemed very detached, and asked me if I was depressed. I burst into tears and said, "I'm not SAD. I just can't feel ANYTHING except for the baby!" He told me that was more common than not, and said that he would help me come up with a plan to get back to my old self. My case was actually considered to be mild to moderate, and we decided to try a change of diet, exercise, and some homeopathics to help stabilize my moods. Working out helped a TON. I did yoga, took long walks with the baby in the wrap, and ran on the treadmill. I cut out caffeine, refined sugars, and other junk. I did a lot of hypnosis. I had a HypnoParenting CD that I listened to every single day, and other hypnosis tracks about letting go of fear and anxiety. It really helped me to let go of all of those negative emotions and fears. Bach's Rescue Remedy helped my anxiety SO MUCH, as did lavender oil. Some days I would slather my whole body in it, just to stay calm. It took awhile, but by the time Sawyer turned 6 months old, I was me again.

There are some things that I wish I had done differently, though, to help myself further reduce the risk of PPD. I wish I had known more about placenta encapsulation and the benefits it has for mom and baby. I didn't even know what that was when I was pregnant with Sawyer, or just how many placenta encapsulation specialists were in the Chicagoland area. I also wish that I had known just because you don't feel sad, doesn't mean you're not depressed. I had pretty much made it through my postpartum depression before I ever realized I had it. Denial? Probably. It's taken me 2 years to finally talk about it!

Does this whole experience make me fearful of what will happen the next time I have a baby? YES. But, unlike last time, I know what I'm up against. I know the signs, and I know I can come through the other side.

Basking in my endorphin filled birth high!

Same thing. Just months later. :)

Oddly enough, 2 days ago, I was cleaning out Sawyer's closet and I found a box of clothes that I had hidden away in the midst of my PPD. It was filled with cute and sexy dresses! Wahoo! It's like having a new wardrobe! :)

Did you have Postpartum Depression or Anxiety? Would you like to share your story (anonymously if necessary) with other women? If so, please email me at kelli@hipsterhomemaker.com I'd love to have a guest post series on this topic. Let's help stop the stigma of PPD and support each other!

In Honor of World Breastfeeding Week: "Why, yes that IS a toddler on my boob!"

2011-08-05T15:54:00.003-05:00

It is World Breastfeeding Week. A week in which nations all across the globe promote breastfeeding and its benefits. However, in our "Western" society, something that rarely gets mentioned is the fact that when children are left to wean on their own, they usually tend to do so between two and seven years. Yes, SEVEN. In India, it isn't uncommon to see 8 year old boys being nursed. The American Association of Pediatrics recommends nursing for a MINIMUM of one year, and after that "as long as mutually desired." The World Heath Organization recommends 2.5 to 3 years.

So, why? Well, because it never STOPS being good for them. From ages 1-3, toddlers still get a good chunk of their daily nutrition from nursing. Especially protein, fat, calcium, folate and B12. Also, many studies show that children who are nursed past 1 year get sick far less often, and when they do get sick, their symptoms are more mild, and they recover more quickly than their peers. Nursed toddlers also tend to have fewer allergies, nicer skin, better vision, and higher IQs/grades. Extended nursing also benefits mom. Nursing, especially for long periods, helps reduce a mother's risk of breast, ovarian, uterine, and thyroid cancers. It also reduces the risk of heart disease, type 2 diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, and osteoporosis. References 1 References 2 References 3

This post is NOT about making anyone feel guilty or uncomfortable about their choices to breastfeed, bottle feed, wean at a certain age, or the like. This post is about what I have learned about nursing a toddler, both from a scientific/biological perspective as seen above, and from a personal place of love (and sometimes utter frustration) as you will see below.

I still nurse my son, who is about to turn 2 in just a few short weeks. Believe me, no one is more shocked about this than I am. I always wanted to nurse, but I was so concerned about making it through the first year, I didn't even begin to think about extended breastfeeding until shortly before Sawyer's first birthday. Suddenly, it hit me. He was not even close to being ready to wean, and I wasn't ready to wean him, either. So, we kept on nursing, and I started reading, and found the information listed above (and a whole lot more, too!).

I also started talking to moms who nursed toddlers and preschoolers. It felt nice to have a group of women who knew the special "trials" of nursing a toddler. First of all, they don't tend to like to sit on a chair and nurse quietly and sweetly like they did as an infant. They like to pick your nose, give you dental check ups, kick things, nurse upside down, standing up, or any other position in which their face can get to your boob. The funnier, the better. Bones calls nursing "na-nas" and has recently discovered that I have 2, 1 on each side. So now, he will point to one or the other and say, "I want THIS side na-na, please!"

Okay, now this is the point in the story where I get the "looks" or the inevitable comment of, "Well, if he's old enough to ask for it, he's too old." I really don't understand the logic of this argument. He's old enough to ask for pretty much everything, so am I not supposed to give him anything he can ask for? Also, he's been able to "ask for it" since the day he was born. Babies give lots of signals (and many even use sign language!) in order to "ask" for the breast from the time they come earthside.

In addition, if I gave him a Happy Meal, most wouldn't give a second glance. Nursing him, however, makes some totally freaked out, or even disgusted. This bothers me most. Especially within my own (extended) family. No one thinks twice about offering him candy, cookies, ice cream, etc. Everytime I nurse him, though, I get the condescending/disapproving, "So, how long are you going to do that?!"At least I am giving him something that is good for him! Not processed garbage. Not that I am saying that people who let their kids have McDonalds are bad, or that I never let Sawyer have sweets. Sawyer happens to love the nuggets at Chick-fil-a and won't turn down any cookie, ever. I'm just saying that a culture that sees giving a toddler junk food is more acceptable than giving him something incredibly beneficial is just plain sad.

I am happy that I live in a state that protects a child's right to be fed whenever, wherever, covered or uncovered. This has helped me maintain my confidence when nursing an older child in public. Nursing isn't just about food. It's also a comforting, calming experience for both child and mother. When we were on vacation, Sawyer nursed A TON because he was very uneasy about being in a new place. New York's breastfeeding laws are very similar to Illinois', so I felt very much at ease nursing him in various museums, shops, airports and restaurants. Honestly, most people had no idea what I was doing. He was usually in the carrier, and if he wasn't, his head is so big, no one could see anything anyway. Most people thought he was asleep.

Nursing a toddler can be frustrating and physically draining. They bite, pull down your shirt without asking, pinch, pull your hair, grab your other boob, or put their feet in your mouth. Sometimes, I wonder how much longer I will want to do this. When that time comes, I will make the best decision I can for Sawyer and I.

So why do I still do it? Honestly, most days, I still love that connection we have. I love seeing him grow physically and mentally, and knowing that my body has helped him become who he is. Since he happens to be a very adventurous toddler, I feel like I am constantly redirecting him or telling him all of the things that he can't do. Nursing is a "yes" time for us. I don't offer the breast, but I don't refuse when he asks for it. It's our time to both calm down, reconnect, and recharge. I love that he thinks of na-nas as the ultimate comfort for when he's scared, anxious, hurt, or tired.

I also love that one day, when he (hopefully) has children, he will look back on his memories of nursing and want that for them. That he will help his partner through the obstacles of nursing and be the amazing support that his father was to me.

I don't know where we'll be a year from now in our nursing relationship, but I hope that wherever we are, the both of us are happy about it.

Nursing at 3 months

This is at about 14 months. He loved to rub my hands while nursing at that age.

And most recently, in NYC at the American Natural History Museum

Note to commenters: I fully understand and expect that there are people who will not agree with me on this issue. I, however, expect that you are respectful and mature in your discourse. Otherwise, I will delete your ass. :)

Traveling with a Toddler Part 2- The Actual Travel Part aka The Travel Hangover and Why I'm Never Allowed to Complain About My Kid. Whew.

2011-08-02T21:53:00.005-05:00

Ahhhhhh, vacation. I apologize in advance for the long-windedness of this post. We did a lot of shit. Also, Sawyer was the picture of perfection, and never ever got out of control, so I have been warned that I am never to complain about his antics ever again. Then, he sleep-punched me in the face and now I have a black eye. This is not a joke.

Let's start with the night before leaving for our vacation. We were traveling with my in-laws, so we spent the night at their house so we would all be able to leave for the airport together. There ended up being a huge storm, and exactly 45 minutes before we were supposed to wake up, the tornado sirens went off. There's nothing like frantically grabbing your sleeping baby and running as fast as you can into your in-laws' basement. I didn't sleep at all. Then, when we got to the airport, it was COMPLETE MADNESS. It was like some sort of anarchic "Lord of the Flies" sort of thing. People freaking out, in mass, with absolutely no order or reason. Luckily, our plane was obviously delayed due to the weather. It took us over an hour just to check our bags, and another hour minutes to go through security. We thought we at least had time to pee with the delay, but no. Our plane's gate had changed to the complete opposite side of the airport. So off we went, running like madmen with the toddler strapped to me in my Ergo Baby Carrier, trying to get to our new gate on time. We made it, just barely. Bones played for the first few minutes of the flight, then he nursed off to sleep and stayed asleep for the entire ride. Our first stop of this trip was in Baltimore. We were there visiting Kevin's aunt (whose home we stayed at, thanks, Aunt B!) and his cousin (who was in from SanFran to see everyone). Bones was awesome on the car ride over as we were staying in a town just outside of Baltimore.

When we arrived, I was so tired I actually thought I was going to die, but I held it together long enough to say hello to everyone and eat some crab cakes. Kev, Bones, and I all passed out hard for the next few hours. We woke up, got ready, and went into downtown Columbia for dinner. There was a little festival of sorts going on, and there were clowns, men on stilts, and live music. Bones was really into this. He kept saying, "I want to see the two guys! I like the two guys!" in regards to the men on stilts. We had dinner at Clyde's of Columbia where they are well known for their crab cakes and cream of crab soup. It is Maryland, after all! The soup was awesome, and so were the crab cakes. I had a seafood paella for dinner, and that was pretty awesome as well.

The next day, we went to the National Aquarium, Baltimore which was one of the craziest aquariums I have ever been to. First of all, on weekends, they have timed admission. Yes, timed! Like at the movies! So we had to go to the bookstore for a couple of hours before we could even get in. This wouldn't have been an issue if it hadn't been 105 degrees outside. Once we were in the aquarium, we learned that strollers were not allowed. This was fine, as I had my trusty Ergo with me, but I wondered about all of the families who didn't have a carrier. What did they do?! I found out at the stroller check in. They will actually GIVE YOU a baby carrier to use while you're there. Isn't that awesome?!? Now, the kind they give out is not a great option, but at least it's promoting babywearing. It was really nice to see babies in carriers, close to their parents. The aquarium had some pretty great exhibits, as well. Bones thought it was great. He asked to see sharks, and he got them! It was our last night in Baltimore, so we had some drinks and all talked and had lots of laughs.... especially over the discussion of how someone's bathroom used to smell like "old lady vagina" and how everyone knew it, but no one could figure out what was causing it. Especially since no old ladies lived in the house. It was the wall paper glue, but old lady vagina is just way more interesting, isn't it?

After that, we drove from Baltimore to NYC. Our hotel was right near Central Park, which was AWESOME. Central Park is amazing. We spent many hours there.

Central Park, complete with castle and sunbathers!

We were all super starving after the long car ride from Baltimore, so after checking in at the hotel, we went to Shake Shack which also has a webcam that you can use to see exactly how busy it is before you go. I wish I had known that before, but we were so hungry, I doubt it would have made a difference. We grabbed a bench and ate our burgers, hot dogs, fries, and shakes. They were delicious, especially the fries. They make them with Yukon Gold potatoes, which happen to be my personal favorite.

Then, we went to the American Museum of Natural History. It was about 2 blocks from our hotel, and it was AMAZING! They have one of the largest collections of dinosaur bones, and my Bones was literally screaming with delight. "Mommy, there's a T-Rex! That's a baby long neck! I want to sit by the baby long neck!"

Dinos. NYC style. No, my kid is not high. At least, I hope.

After that, we all went back to our rooms and relaxed for a bit. We decided that we would have dinner at Grand Central Oyster Bar in Grand Central Station. It was so gorgeous in there, and it's one of the oldest restaurants in New York City. It felt almost like the set of a movie. I loved that our server brought Bones his food before anything else, so he would be nice and occupied. The oysters here were the best I have ever had, and the selection is beyond incredible. We also had other amazing dishes, but they paled in comparison to the raw oysters on the half shell.

Bones at Grand Central, enjoying some rice.

After that, we walked around 5th Avenue and saw where all the rich people shop. Then, we went to Gray's Papaya. I have wanted to go there for years, as they are supposedly the best hot dogs in NYC, and Kevin went last summer when he helped his sister move into her apartment, and agreed that they were awesome. Too bad I'm allergic to papaya, though. The papaya dog is supposed to be delicious, but I had a mustard and sauerkraut dog since I didn't want to go into anaphylactic shock on my vacation. They also have a variety of fresh juices there, too. Of course, the papaya juice is the big seller. Again, I hear it's delicious. I had the pineapple juice and it was sooooooo yummy. It was like biting into a juicy, ripe pineapple. That, coupled with my crispy, salty, tangy kraut dog was one of the best bites of food I've had in years. Bones had a great time, too. He was happily yelling, "I love hotdog juice!" while eating his kraut dog and drinking pineapple juice just like his mama.

The next day happened to be our wedding anniversary and we had big plans for the night. First, though, Kevin and his mom went to Zabar's and got us all coffee and bagels. OH. MY. GOD. That coffee was so smooth, chocolaty, and rich. And it was $1! If we had Zabar's here, I'd never go to Starbucks ever again. They also have a market, cheese counter, and all kinds of awesome gourmet cooking stuff that sent me into foodie heaven. Then, we hung out in Central Park for a while. I had an awesome cuban sandwich from some random deli, and then we went to the Children's Museum of Manhattan so Bones could have some fun that was just for him. It was great! They had one floor that was a Curious George exhibit, that is only there for a little while longer. The next floor was Dora and Diego. Sawyer about lost his mind. He thought it was so cool that he could be in Dora's house and walk across the bridge where the grumpy old troll lives. The 3rd floor had sand, a chalkboard, a fire truck, a bus, and a jungle gym. Bones had the most fun here, and even made a few friends. Then, he fell and split his lip. Luckily, it stopped bleeding pretty quickly, and I nursed him through it. He would have kept playing, but Kev and I were pretty much done with the museum after that.

Having some serious fun at the CMOM

Kev and I were starving, and we found this little cafe called Peacefood Cafe which is all vegan. It was so nice to just have some fresh, healthy food. Sawyer loved my avocado sandwich with pickled radishes. Then, Kev and I had to get ready for our big night out for our anniversary.

Now, anyone who happens to know me in real life knows that I love food, especially Italian food. Mario Batali is a personal hero of mine, and for our anniversary, Kevin decided that we would spend money we don't have and have dinner at Babbo, one of Mario Batali's restaurants. We called 10 days in advance, and the only reservation we could get on our anniversary was at 10:15pm. We didn't care. We took it happily. We went to a little bar before our dinner reservation and had some great craft beers. I was so hungry by the time we got to Babbo that I thought I was going to pass out. There was a storm, and they were running 30 minutes behind. I was NOT happy. I pretty much turn into a toddler when I need food and can't get any, so I was sulking and telling Kev that I just wanted to go back to the hotel and be with my baby. He told me to suck it up, this was our anniversary, and we were going to have some goddamn Mario Batali food. I am SOOOOOOOOOOO (I can't even put enough Os on this to express how I feel) happy that we stayed. The best meal of my entire life was to come. I am not going to bore you with all of the details of every dish that I had, but seriously.... this meal is something that Kev and I will look back on fondly for years. Every single thing was absolutely perfect. It was all very simple, regional Italian, but executed with such precision it was unbelievable. Our waiter, Adam, was also amazing. If anyone at Babbo sees this post, give Adam a hug for us. He ended up being from Homewood, IL! How crazy! He was super knowledgeable and kind to us. Every bite of food was amazing, but the highlight for me was dessert (which it NEVER is because I'm not that into sweets). We had the sweet corn crema with polenta zepole. Zepole are like Italian donuts, and these were made with cornmeal. They are made to order, and they literally just melted into gooey goodness in my mouth. The sweet corn crema was like a custard, and was the perfect cold, creamy balance to the zepole. Our server also gave us some complimentary dessert wine as it was our anniversary. Here is a crappy picture.... I only had my phone and it was really dark in there.

Babbo, I love you.

Then, we decided to take a cab back to our hotel instead of taking the subway, and Kevin told the cabbie the wrong place to take us. Then, I accidentally put my sunglasses in the refrigerator and couldn't find them until we checked out.

The next morning, I woke up still full, and in full fledged pissy-PMS mode. We went to get some coffee and hang out in Central Park. Now, I haven't been able to wear my contacts since I got pregnant with Sawyer, and I didn't bring my glasses because I don't ever wear them unless I'm driving. In short, I can't see things that are far away. Especially writing. At the coffee shop, I mistook a $ for a 1 and bitchily barked at Kevin, "I am NOT paying $12 for COFFEE!" Yeah, it was $2. We both had a nice laugh.

The bambino eating pasta at Eataly.

After Central Park, we met up with everyone and went to another Mario Batali venture, Eataly. Eataly is a market, but is also many restaurants within it, each based on a theme (ie cheese, pizza, pasta, roasted meats, gelato, etc). Our first experience was not great. It is very chaotic inside of Eataly. We wanted to get a meat and cheese board before we moved on to our reservation at the pasta/pizza restaurant. Our waitress was incredibly rude and short, and I was very upset. I didn't let it damper the deliciousness of the meats and cheeses, though. When we finally got to the pizza/pasta, I was a happy gal. Everything was so fresh and delicious. The pasta was actually true al dente.

I think he might have been a New Yorker in a past life!

Kevin went to a show that night, so Sawyer and I stayed in and ate pastrami sandwiches. He loved it. He kept saying, "Oh, Mommy! So yummy! So yummy meat!"

For our final morning in Manhattan, we went back to Zabar's got some coffee, and then went to the New York establishment that is Barney Greengrass aka The Sturgeon King. If you want awesome smoked fish, and a true New York feel, go here. The prices are pretty steep for what you get, but it was worth the experience. Sawyer liked it a lot, too. We also went to Five Napkin Burger and it, too, was awesome. The rosemary aioli they put on the burgers is fantastic and I'm totally going to try to make it at home.

Our flight back to Chicago was much like the ride out to Baltimore. Bad weather and delays. The highlight was probably about a half hour before take off when Sawyer, who hadn't pooped for about 4 days, starting hurling himself over the side of a chair in the terminal, much like a choking victim might. It didn't take us long to figure out he was taking a massive dump. AGAIN. When Grandma and I got him to the bathroom, it was definitely a two person job. I'll leave it at that. Although, I'm thanking my lucky stars that he dropped a deuce BEFORE we got on the plane, and not in-flight. We were one of the few flights that got out to Chicago, and when we finally landed, we had to stay on the runway for 40 minutes due to lightning. Yeah, try that with a 2 year old. Bones was great, though. He only cried a couple of times, mostly because of his ears popping, and because he wanted to squeeze into the airplane bathroom with me. He was so proud of himself that he told anyone we passed, "I'm soooo good on the tall plane!" "I'm best boy! I'm big boy!"

So, now, we are home, and I have the "Travel Hangover." For the past few days, I have been sleeping like I have mono, and moving like I'm in quicksand. Even though Sawyer was the best behaved toddler I've ever seen while traveling, it was still utterly exhausting. He was very anxious, and therefore nursed more than he has since he was a young infant. Between all the nursing and the heat, I felt like I was literally being sucked dry. I LOVED New York, but honestly, it didn't feel very different from Chicago. There were a few things that I noticed, though. First of all, the DELIS! Oh my God! Why don't we have these here?!?! You are telling me that I can buy a bottle of advil and a delicious, made-to-order corned beef sandwich all in the same place?! Seriously, Chicago, get with it. The other thing that I noticed is that there weren't as many bars as there are in Chicago. When Kevin and I were in Greenwich Village for our anniversary, we had to walk almost a mile before we found a bar. In Chicago, no matter the neighborhood, you can't go more than 3 blocks without a bar. It's like a city ordinance or something. The final thing that really stuck out to me was that New Yorkers aren't very kid friendly. Here, I can't go out to eat or to any public event without someone commenting on Bones and how cute or sweet he is. Not a single person even gave him a smile!

So, New York, you were great. But home feels nice, too.

Some parting pictures for you all.....

We saw a bridal photo shoot in Central Park

This is for Maggie. :)

Please suggest the blog to your friends, and if you haven't already, please "Like" my page on Facebook and follow me on Twitter!

Traveling with a Toddler Part 1- "Prepping" For Travel- aka Where the Hell is the Vodka?!?!

2011-07-22T00:21:00.004-05:00

I would like to preface this by saying that I don't even drink Vodka, but this week made me want to start.

I thought that I was going to write this really great, sweet, informative post on how to get ready for travel with a toddler. Well, the universe just went and screwed me with that, so here is what actually happened when I attempted (and I use that term loosely) to prep for our East Coast vacation.

Side Note: I am leaving in mere hours for this trip and instead of prepping, sleeping or PACKING I am eating cold pizza, watching Six Feet Under and writing this post. This post also contains some adult language, but I swear, it's warranted!

I started off this week so motivated and organized. I had a list of all the things I needed to buy or pull out from the various storage spaces in our home. I was ready. I was prepared. I was going to kick some serious vacation prep ass.

Monday, I did REALLY well. I helped my friend Maggie with a newborn photography shoot and helped a mom with breastfeeding issues. Mags and I felt so proud of ourselves, we got sushi afterwards. I was so exhausted from all that fun, so Sawyer and I took a nap. Then, I woke up frantic, realizing I HAD A 90 MINUTE IN HOME MASSAGE in 10 minutes! That really took the wind out of my sails, and I was drooling on my floor for the next 1.5 hours. I was in such a blissfully relaxed state after that, I don't really remember what happened for the rest of the night. I think we went to Oberweis for ice cream. Soooooo productive, right?

Tuesday, I actually DID do well. I took Sawyer to my parents' house since my niece was spending the night there. I thought it would be nice for him to have a day to play with his cousin and see his grandparents before we left for vacation. Also, my mom offered to watch him so I could run errands to get some things we needed for the trip. Talk about a win-win situation. I was able to go to the health food store to get some homeopathics for our trip (I was all out of Rescue Remedy and that is a staple in our home to begin with, and I also got some Calms Forte to help if any of us has trouble sleeping, especially for the plane ride) as well as a trip to Target for an umbrella stroller, some toiletries, and organic snacks for Sawyer. I also got him some really cool animal flash cards, tape to make his own stickers, and a few small toys. Then, my sister wanted to stop at a clothing store to get a dress for the Jimmy Buffet concert she's going to, so I went along and got myself 2 cheap rompers and a pair of $3 sunglasses so I don't have to cry when my beloved Elton John pair would inevitably get lost or broken while in NYC. I was feeling good. I accomplished a HUGE chunk of my to-do list! Then..... Kevin called me. Apparently, our power was out, and seeing as it was literally 100 degrees, he told me there was no way Sawyer and I should come home. So, Sawyer and I spent the night at my parents house. He thought this was THE. BEST. EVER. My dad (who works for the electric company and hadn't been home since last Monday due to the storms and now the heat) had just gotten home around 10pm. He made popcorn and put on The Wizard of Oz for Sawyer and my niece. They watched it with him and were literally running around shrieking with pure joy at getting to stay up late and watch movies with their Papa. When I finally got S to bed around 1am, I was practically hallucinating due to exhaustion.

Now that brings us to Wednesday. The day that really f-ed up my whole productivity plan. That morning, my mom set out the kiddie pool for S and G so they could have some outdoor time before the insane heat melted their tiny bodies. I put a swim diaper on S, lathered him in sunscreen, and ate my breakfast as my mom played with him and my niece in the water. When I came out, I noticed Sawyer's diaper seemed to be leaking something. Now, swim diapers are not absorbent - they are meant to simply hold poop in so it doesn't leak into the water. Well, this swim diaper gets a giant F for that. The kid was swimming in shit water. Sawyer had taken a massive dump and it leaked into the kiddie pool he was splashing around in. Luckily, my niece had been out of the water for awhile, so we're pretty sure she was spared. My mom and I frantically grabbed a towel, ripped the diaper off of him, hosed him off, and got him inside. Then, I noticed he had been rubbing his eyes in the pool. It all hit me then. "Fuuuuuuck! He was rubbing his eyes!!!! He has SHIT in his eyes now! He's going to get mother f-ing PINK EYE for our vacation! They aren't even going to let us on the plane! What the fuck am I going to do now?!?! Kevin is going to KILL ME!" Luckily, I am lactating, so I started immediately spraying milk into his swollen, irritated eye. For those of you who don't know, breastmilk is amazing and has many uses beyond feeding a baby/toddler/preschooler. It has antibacterial properties, so I knew getting milk in his eye would treat the pink eye, or prevent it all together. Then, I took to my facebook and had a mini melt-down. My status read: "Sawyer pooped in the kiddie pool (stupid swim diaper DID NOT hold it in, as it claims it does) and then rubbed it in his eye. So now he probably has pink eye right before we are traveling. Awesome. To top that off, our power was out all night, and now my freaking HBOGO streaming isn't working so I can't even calm myself down with some Six Feet Under. GAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!" Petty about the HBOGO part, I know, but seriously. Straw, meet camel's back. I was in tears and ready to cancel our entire trip. Then, a good friend reminded me that I could get homeopathic pink eye drops from my local Walgreens. I called the pharmacy and they had them. The pharmacist told me that using those, in combination with the breastmilk, would work better than prescription antibiotics anyway. This made me breathe a big sigh of relief, and I was able to pull myself together. Even if Sawyer keeps yelling at me that na-nas (his word for nursing) are supposed to be for your mouth and not your eyes. If you only knew, kid. The na-nas have powers beyond your wildest dreams.

That brings us to today (Thursday, at least for a few more minutes, anyway). I was supposed to pack, but I didn't do that until about an hour ago. Whoops! I spent my day with 4 of my favorite boys and beat the heat with popsicles, coloring books, and dinosaurs. After dinner, I started having crazy heart palpitations over packing, and suddenly decided that I had made all the wrong decisions in life. I'm not exactly the best when it comes to anxiety. Finally, Kevin and I packed, and all is now well. Sawyer's eye isn't even the slightest bit pink or oozy, thank goodness. For Sawyer, we have a lot of books, crayons, puzzles, small toys, and healthy snacks. I also packed Rescue Remedy, Calms Forte, Peppermint oil (in case anyone gets nauseous) and Lavender oil (for tension, or if anyone around us is stinky!). I just hope the East Coast is kind to us, and that Sawyer is kind to our fellow plane-mates.

Stay tuned for the rest of this series. Until then, here's some Hipster cuteness:

He really loved packing!

So what should the Hipster Household do in Baltimore and New York City?????

A Sappy, Deliriously Happy Ode to my Friends, the Newlyweds

2011-07-17T21:50:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, my husband's best friend got married to one of the coolest, sweetest girls I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. My husband was the Best Man, and as he was prepping his speech, I suddenly found myself writing my own.

You see, The Groom in this story has been my husband's best friend since Kindergarten, and he was my husband's Best Man in our wedding, which took place almost exactly 3 years from this one. Seeing as Kevin and I have been together for 8.5 years, I've gotten to know The Groom very, very well and count him as one of my dearest friends. The Groom is the kind of person you can only describe as "a really good guy" because, well, he actually is. As my husband stated in his speech, The Groom is the first person I would call if I were stranded on the side of the road or had any sort of emergency and Kevin was unavailable. Hell, I might even call him BEFORE Kevin considering he's a paramedic and possibly the handiest man I've yet to meet. He even lived with us when we were first married, and is still the best roommate I've ever had aside from my husband.

So, with all that aside.....

To my friends, The Newlyweds,

   I would first like to start this by saying just how happy Kevin and I are for the both of you. For years, I smugly prided Kevin and myself as the cutest, mushiest couple I'd ever seen. Till you guys. You have us beat, and I'm happy to pass the torch of touchy-feeliness on to the two of you. It is beyond obvious that you two are crazy about each other, and support one another through the somewhat strenuous and identity-search-filled struggles of early adulthood.

   To The Bride:
   For years Kevin and I wanted The Groom to just find a nice girl. I, in particular, felt very protective over him, since he was one of the few decent guys Kevin seemed to know. I sure as hell didn't want him ending up with some crazy-making skank. When he met you, it was easy to tell that this was something different. Being that The Groom lived with us, we got a much better look inside the early days of your relationship than anyone else would have. I think back to "Whisky Burrito Fest," in which The Groom and I celebrated the end of his old job and the end of my semester by drinking a bottle of Jameson and getting burritos in the middle of the day on a Wednesday. Kevin came home from work to find The Groom and I laying on the floor with our feet on the couch, trying to stop the room from spinning. It was on this day that I came to find out that this budding romance between The Bride and Groom really was love at first sight, as corny as that may be. A guy doesn't tell his best friend's wife that he wants to marry the girl he's been dating for 3 weeks unless he actually feels that way. I've often wondered who the woman accompanying us on summer vacations, laughing and drinking beers on the patio while watching our kids play in the sprinkler would be. Once we got to know you, it was pretty clear that was going to be you. And I couldn't be happier.

To The Groom:
   You are a dear friend and one of most genuine people I know. There's hardly a memory between Kevin and myself over the past almost-decade that you aren't a part of. You got to see our love unfold, as we did yours. You got to see me get bit by a brown recluse spider, line up my drinks then watch me drunkenly fall on my face, and all the embarrassing-ness that comes with college life. You may have drunkenly called me a tattle tale, and kicked my ass in movie trivia, but for those things I forgive you. You're also the guy who, when you lived with us, would hold back my hair, rub my back, and bring my glasses of water when I was puking my life away for the first 14 weeks of my pregnancy since Kevin never seemed to be home when my morning sickness kicked in.

I'm not quite sure if you remember this, but at our wedding, you (very intoxicated at this point) pulled me aside and told me that what Kevin and I have is what you someday hoped to find.

Well, you found it.

Now, go have fun in Hawaii, you assholes.

The Hipster is Now Happenin'

2011-07-12T22:48:00.001-05:00

Yup. That's right. Thanks to an amazing friend and former doula client, I have a brand spankin' new blog design, my own domain, and lots of other fun stuff that I never would have been able to accomplish on my own. I am so excited about where this blog is headed, and I can't wait to share it with all of you.

So, what's to come?
Well, first, REGULAR POSTS. I have been lazy and scared (not to mention busy) so I haven't been posting nearly as much as I should. From now on, expect WEEKLY posts from me. No excuses. If I need to post a sick note, I will! Secondly, I have a whole recipe section of the blog that I am working on. Thirdly, there are now ways for you guys to follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or by RSS feed. If you do all three, well, I just might pee myself. Next, I am doing a photo shoot with the amazing Maggie Cuprisin Photography that will be filled with Hipster goodness. Lastly, I have some open ad space on the blog, and would love for naturally-minded products and services to be promoted here. If you are at all interested in this, please click on the "Be seen with the Hipster" page for more information. I am so excited to be going full tilt with this blog, and I hope you will all join me for the ride!

What would YOU as a reader like to see on The Hipster Homemaker? Suggestions are always welcome. As long as they are nice, of course. :)

Trial

2011-07-09T15:45:00.002-05:00

Trial

My Uterus Has Gone on Sabbatical

2011-04-27T13:51:00.000-05:00

Yup. After much consideration (and tears of frustration on my part), Kev and I have decided to stop actively trying to conceive. After 6 months of trying and nothing happening, we decided that it was best to stop all of the "trying" and just go back to being ourselves. No more peeing on sticks, no more temping, charting, or tracking. None of it. So, my uterus and ovaries are being given a welcome break from the baby making madness that has been the past 6 months. I hope those bitches are happy about it, too. Waving the white flag and giving up on this was not exactly easy for me.

That is not to say that I am going on birth control or anything like that. As a nursing mom, my options with that are very limited anyway, and since we haven't gotten pregnant yet with nothing and wouldn't mind if a bun made it's way into my oven, it just seems kinda pointless.

So, how am I feeling about all of this, you ask?

In all honesty, I am..... relieved.

After months of doing everything in my power and constantly seeing this:

I really was losing my mind, as stated in my previous post. In my everyday life, I am very driven and I pride myself on doing things well. If I am given directions/instructions on how to do something, you'd best believe I will rock the shit out of it. Taking supplements, tracking symptoms, temperatures, cervical mucus, cervical position, timing sex.... I did it all. We did it all. I felt like a complete failure, and it was starting to affect my life. My job (which gives me so much fulfillment it's insane) was actually making me SAD. I saw everything I wanted and didn't have, and it became overwhelmingly depressing. There have been many days in the past few months where I simply did not want to get out of bed, talk to anyone, or do anything.

Now, I am realizing that I was being totally insane. Sawyer is not even 20 months old! I am only 27! We have plenty of time to have another baby, and another one after that, and another one after that, if we want. I am going to sit back, relax, and enjoy the little man (and big man!) that I already have.

And when a little bean decides to stick, I will be ready. Not to mention, ecstatic.

Trying to Conceive Has Made Me Psychotic

2011-04-06T20:39:00.001-05:00

Seriously. This is no joke.

For those of you who don't know, my wonderfully sweet husband and I have been trying to add a new bundle of joy to our brood for a few months now. Initially, this was his idea that came absolutely out of nowhere (that is another tale for another time) and I started coming up with excuses to sleep in the other room FAR FAR AWAY from him. After a few weeks of playing hide and seek with the hubby, I decided that he was right. We were as ready as we would ever be, and when your toddler asks you EVERY SINGLE DAY for a sister, it's safe to say that the universe is telling you to get yourself good and knocked up.

This is who I am now. Damn you, imaginary fetus!

So, we started. Now, our son was a complete and total surprise, so we didn't think we had to do all that much "trying." Honestly, I figured it would take 2 months tops and I would have my cute little baby bump in time to ring in the new year. Well, it's April, and uterus remains vacant. So, after two months passed, I began to get more aggressive in my quest for second mommyhood. I started taking supplements to enhance my fertility. I chart, check all sorts of gross things, pee on so many sticks it would make your head spin, and document every supposed symptom I think I might have.

Oh, and I joined a CafeMom TTC (Trying to Conceive) group full of other POASA's (Pee On A Stick Addcits) like myself. This may be my most dangerous move. These women, myself included, post about every little thing they are feeling, both physically and emotionally. They post pictures of their tests, charts, and yes, even their cervical mucus. Many of them test every single day of their cycle, whether it be first with OPKs (Ovulation Predictor Kits) and then with HPTs (Home Pregnancy Tests). Now, this group is WONDERFULLY SUPPORTIVE, but it can also be like a bunch of crack addicts egging each other on. So, because of these women, I don't feel alone and I don't feel so crazy. It helps me rationalize the completely bat-shit things that I think or say or do all because, look, all these other women are doing it too! Some of them are waaaaaaayyyyy worse than me! You see my point here. All of this crazy shit because I want a little bean to implant itself into my uterine wall.

What I look like after a long day on the TTC Forum, or looking up every pregnancy sign known to mankind

Every little twinge, burp, upset tummy, spell of fatigue- it's all making me think "Is this it?! Am I about to be a mommy again?!" So far, no. So far, I am just a crazy lady who will probably end up with a hysterical pregnancy like on one of those shows like Private Practice or Grey's Anatomy.

Then, of course, there's the sadness when good old AF (Aunt Flow, for those of you not familiar with the TTC lingo.) makes her appearance. Knowing that even though you tried your hardest, nothing came of it. Then, there's the wondering about when (or if ever) it's going to happen.

Perhaps the craziest thing I did was get TWO online psychic readings. A friend bought me a psychic reading from a woman who specifically reads women looking to conceive or women who are currently pregnant. This woman told me that I would find out I was pregnant in the month of April and give birth to a baby girl around Christmas 2011. Well, that is yet to be seen.
This incident made me so curious that I spent $5 of my own money to get a reading from ANOTHER conception/pregnancy online psychic to see what she had to say. She said that I would either conceive or find out I was pregnant in April or May of this year. She says I will have a boy.

Now, I really don't believe that some lady over the internet can tell me when I am going to have my next baby based on my birthday and Kevin's birthday, but man, I hope she's right.

Then, I can just be the PREGNANT crazy bitch!

Moms and Woo Girls - Let's Get It On

2011-02-17T21:35:00.002-06:00

Robin from HIMYM in "Woo Girl" Mode

I'm sure you are all wondering, "What the EFF is a "Woo Girl?!" A "Woo Girl" is a term I discovered on my favorite television show "How I Met Your Mother." In this episode, Lily and Robin go out with one of Lily's teacher co-workers, only to find out that she is a "Woo Girl." Meaning, according to my friends at urbandictionary.com, they are "the type of "weekend warrior princess" who goes out in the company of several other Woo girls. Behavior is usually spotted by shouting "WOO" whenever a. drinking shots, b. ordering another round of drinks, c. shouting at pedestrians while traveling, d. Entering or leaving a club or bar, e. Most notable when gathered in groups for Bachellorette parties surrounded by toys resembling male genitalia. Clothing is usually sparkly, makeup is overdone, sometimes wear cowboy hats, and this type is usually in the 21-35 range."

We all know a few Woo Girls. You might even BE a Woo Girl. You're out at the bar with your girls and your song comes on, "WOOOOO!!!!!" A group of guys bought you a shot, "WOOOO!!!!!" You get the idea. Woo Girls tend to be single or in dead-end relationships, and don't like us Mommy-types very much. I would like to propose that Woo Girls embrace their Mommy friends, because, well, we deserve to 'WOOOOO!!!!' every once in a freaking while, too!

Yes, I know that as Woo Girls, you like to go out and have a good time and you don't want to hear about our marriages, babies, breastmilk, and the like. However, I feel that it is a little drastic for there to be no Woo-ing in Mommyland. Moms should be able to observe the High Woo Holidays, ie Bachelorette parties, Divorce Parties, Mardi Gras, and Spring Break.

If anything, Woo Girls should WANT to hang out with Mommies. Why? Well, because we have all of the essential skills for dealing with Woo Nights Gone Wrong. I mean, drunk people and babies are incredibly similar. They both cry, puke, have balance issues, need to have car keys taken away from them, and sometimes wet their pants. We can be your Wing-Woman and your shoulder to cry on. We can line up your drinks and hold your hair back. Really, we are exactly the kind of companion every Woo Girl needs.

I have to point out, though, that according to the theory presented on HIMYM, the meaning of a Mommy 'Woo' and a Woo Girl 'Woo' are two very, very different things. When we Mommies "WOOO!" It is because we are genuinely happy to be out of the freaking house. Our wooos can be translated into things like "WOOO! I'm not covered in pee/poop/puke!" or "WOOO!!!! I haven't had to change a diaper in 3 hours!" or "WOOO! No one is wiping snot on me!" and most importantly "WOOO! I'm so happy to be a Mommy!" When a Woo Girl wooos, it is translated into things like, "WOOO! Will I ever be a mom?" or "WOOO! I haven't had sex in 6 months!" or "WOOO! I've never been on a second date!"

Now, if this theory holds true, then I can understand why Woo Girls and Mommies don't hang out. If you are woo-ing your secret pain away then seeing someone who supposedly 'has it all' might not be your cup of tea, but on the other hand, Mommies need to feel like something other than Mommies sometimes. Sometimes, we need to go out and have some drinks, dance with our girlfriends, and yes, we even need to WOOOOOOO!

Are/Were you a "Woo Girl?" Are you friends with any "Woo GIrls?" Do you think we can get along or are we destined to be at woo-ing odds?

Why I Chose a Calm, Natural Birth

2010-07-11T00:02:00.000-05:00

I don't talk much about my son's birth outside of the birthing community because I got so much flack for it, and I hear many friends and doula clients who tell me the same thing about when they try to share their births. I want to break that cycle here and now. I am extremely proud and content with the choices I made during my pregnancy and my son's birth and I will no longer hide it. I kicked ass, and now I am taking names.

So, in a day and age when most hospitals have upwards of an 80% epidural rate, and a national C-section rate of over 30%, why did I chose to birth naturally, using HypnoBirthing, and have a doula? Well, there are lots of reasons!

Why Did I Chose to Birth Naturally?

The biggest reason I chose a natural birth is because I wanted the full experience of birthing. I have endometriosis (I have received treatment for it) and prior to getting knocked up by accident with my wonderful son, I was told that I would most likely have a 30-40% chance of getting pregnant on my own, as is typical for women with endometriosis, even after treatment. It is the #1 cause of female infertility. So, I was never quite sure that I would ever be able to experience giving birth to a child of my own, and I made a promise to myself that if/when that happened, I would do whatever was in my power to make sure that I experienced it to the fullest degree. That, to me, meant feeling everything. So, when I got the biggest surprise of my life, I wasn't about to back out on that promise just because this wasn't something I saw coming. In "The Business of Being Born" Ricki Lake makes a great comment about she isn't against medication, she just doesn't feel that birth was something that needed to be numbed. I couldn't agree with that statement more!

The next big reason is that I am simply scared shitless of being numb. I already have nerve damage in my foot from a brown recluse bite and nerve damage in my lower lip from wisdom teeth surgery. I wasn't about to risk something else losing feeling permanently. For me, not feeling is way worse than feeling. It is really that simple!

I just wasn't comfortable with putting unnecessary things into my (and therefore my baby's) body. I am a minimalist, on all levels!

I didn't (and don't) see birth as a medical condition (unless of course there are complications!). It is the most natural thing that happens in life!

I trusted that my body and my baby would work together.

Why Did I Choose HypnoBirthing?

I wanted a calm, peaceful birth. That is the exact goal of HypnoBirthing.

I wanted to use a method that relied on the mother using her own body and mind to release my body's natural painkillers aka endorphins.

I love visualization and guided imagery, and HypnoBirthing uses these.

I watched a lot of HypnoBirths on youtube and they were exactly what I envisioned for my own birth!

Why Did I Chose to Have a Doula?

In a time where natural birth is not even close to being the norm, I felt it was absolutely necessary to have someone there to help advocate for myself, my baby, and my husband.

I wanted another woman who could support and reassure me that I could do it, and that I wasn't crazy for wanting the birth that I did!

I wanted someone that I could inform me in an unbiased manner on the issues I had questions about.

I wanted as much support as possible during my pregnancy, labor, birth, and early postpartum period.

Not only did all of these decisions and the reasons behind them yield the birth that I so desperately wished for, it also changed the course of my life. Even though I knew well before I ever got pregnant that I wanted a natural birth using HypnoBirthing, I don't know how sucessful I would have been if the stars didn't somehow align for it. If I hadn't found HypnoBirthing at the yoga studio down the road from my college, I probably would have taken another type of class. Then, I wouldn't have learned all of the amazing things that I did in, and I wouldn't then go on to teach it (I'll be certified to teach it next month! I'm so excited!).

Also, meeting my HypnoBirthing Instructor (and doula!) changed my life in ways that I will be forever grateful. Meeting Tricia was like meeting a long lost sibling. I felt so instantly at ease with her. Because I had so much outside opposition to the birth I was trying to have, I felt doubtful of myself, my body, and my baby's abilty to work together. Tricia made me realize that I wasn't unrealistic for wanting that, and that I wasn't crazy for thinking that my body and my baby were a team. As my doula, she was always there for me, and I mean always! I had a million and one questions for her on a daily basis. She answered each one and never once hinted that I was probably annoying the shit out of her while she was trying to spend time with her family. When my pregnancy and later, my labor, hit some bumps in the road she was my (and my husband's!) rock. She was always positive, reassuring, warm, and empathetic. Now, she is an amazing friend (who I still ask a million and one questions to, now all about mothering and doula work!) and an even bigger role model for me. If I can be half the doula, childbirth educator, and most of all, mother that she is, I will consider myself extremely accomplished.

My first moments with my littlest man, Sawyer. I know, I look really metal with all the blood on my hands!

Myself, my husband, and my doula minutes after I popped out the Sawbones.

Post-baby Body Blues

2010-06-16T22:51:00.003-05:00

I have really struggled with writing this entry. I haven't gotten super personal on my blog, but I guess it is about time. The Post Baby Body. It is a sucky subject all around, but one that makes me feel particularly sucky, especially after a day of trying to find a one piece bathing suit for the first time in my life.

I am having real issues accepting my post-baby body. It has been 9.5 months since I gave birth to my son, and I thought I would feel better about it, but I don't. I am back to my pre-baby weight (even a couple of pounds under it on a good day), but the shape and appearance of my body is so different.... and not for the better.

First of all, there is the stretch mark situation. I thought that I had it made when I was pregnant..... I didn't have any stretchmarks on my gigantic belly until 3 WEEKS before Sawyer was born. Talk about a cruel joke! Now, I have a flat, flabby, wrinkly tummy and a belly button that makes a sad face. Not exactly something I want to show off at the beach this summer. Then there would be the hip spreadage...... How the hell does this happen, exactly?! I came home from the hospital 25 pounds lighter, and pants that I wore the day before I gave birth suddenly didn't fit. Do you know how depressing it is when clothes you wore with a watermelon sized midsection won't go on past your ass? Or even up to your ass? Needless to say, there has been a lot of crying in the Hipster Homemaker Household over this issue. I have in many ways let myself go because I just out and out feel UGLY. I never used to leave the house without makeup, and now I can't remember the last time I put any on (except for client interviews or meetings, of course!). My husband has been incredibly wonderful throughout all of this. He thinks I am still beautiful and sexy and I really wish that I could see myself the way he does. I know I just have to accept myself for how I am right now, but it has proven to be much more difficult than I imagined.

I seriously did not know what I had till it was gone. I spent so much time before I had Sawyer obsessing about how thin or in shape I was or wasn't. What a douchebag I was! Looking back, I had nothing to be so upset over.

Before baby, I looked like this.

And this.

Oh, and this.

Not to mention how great I felt about my body when I was pregnant! I loved my pregnant body. I felt so beautiful and sexy. And it showed.

Now, well, I wear the Mommy uniform of sweatpants, nursing tank, hoodie, and ponytail. I know that the sexy little vixen I once was is still in there somewhere, I am just having a difficult time digging her out from under the stretch marks.

Butt Out, Baby Trainers!

2010-05-28T00:20:00.000-05:00

Oh, baby trainers. We all know at least one, don't we? You know the people who say things like "Stop holding the baby so much, you'll spoil him!" "Let him cry it out!" "You can't go to him everytime he makes a little peep" (as you baby is screaming his head off!) "You need to put that baby on a schedule!" or my personal favorite, "If you let him sleep in your bed you'll never get him out!" Dr. Sears tells us Attachment Parenting followers to beware of them. If only it were so easy.

First of all, I do not, nor would I ever, tell a baby trainer how to raise her/his child. So, in return, I expect them to NOT tell me how to raise mine, but it seems, as with most things parenting and baby, that baby trainers are all around me, and they all seem to have an opinion on my mothering. I have one thing to say to them "BUTT OUT!"

"Stop holding the baby so much, you'll spoil him!" Oh really? Then why is it proven that parents who practice kangaroo care and babywearing have babies that cry 40% less? Hmm?! I'm sorry but a little tiny baby cannot manipulate an adult. Babies only know their needs and comfort is a need just like hunger is. Babies need touch to thrive and survive. That's why babies in many orphanages fail to thrive- simply because they aren't touched enough. If a baby is deprived of touch too much, that baby can die. So no, I'm not spoiling my baby, I'm helping him to thrive.

"Let Him Cry It Out!" and "You can't go to him every time he makes a little peep!

"Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms
the baby permanently. It changes the nervous system so they're sensitive to
future trauma." - Dr. Michael Commons, Dept of Psychiatry, Harvard.

That should be enough, but also, when a baby is crying without being tended to his blood pressure and heart rate have soared excessively and needlessly. A Harvard study shows that children who are left to cry themselves to sleep suffer long-lasting damage to their nervous system. As a result, they are more susceptible to post traumatic stress and anxiety disorders, and panic/anxiety attacks. Also, your baby's cries mean something! They are telling you they need you- to be close to you. Why deny them of that? Not to mention, belief in your baby's cries leads to better sleepers later. I'll take that any day!

"You need to put that baby on a schedule!" Really? Because you eat and sleep at the same exact time everyday? I believe in routine, not schedule. Especially with a hectic life and never knowing what is going to happen (is a mom going to go into labor today?!) I can't have a set in stone schedule, but we have a great routine. That way, things are always the same, but the time changes. Also, I let Sawyer put himself on a "schedule" and he has! He wakes up between 9:00am and 10:00am and goes to sleep between 10:00pm and 11:00pm every day. He takes a morning nap and an afternoon nap. I don't force things, I just watch for his cues and I go with it.

Since I already addressed "He'll never leave your bed!" in a previous post, I'll stop with these.

With all of this said, I am in no way saying that baby trainers are bad parents or that they are all assholes or anything of that nature. I'm just saying that baby training isn't for me, just like attachment parenting isn't for them, so let's freaking agree to disagree, okay?!

Such a spoiled brat, isn't he?!

The Seven Year Itch

2010-05-10T19:45:00.000-05:00

I apologize for my brief hiatus.... things have been a little crazy in the Hipster Homemaker household. I have several births coming up, and workshops, and lots of exciting birth-y stuff. This entry is going to get us all caught up, and then I will resume my normal, foodie/mommy blogginess, I promise.

This entry is titled "The Seven Year Itch" because a few weeks ago (when I intended to first write a blog about this, but it just didn't happen!) my husband and I celebrated the 7th anniversary of our first date. I know that to some it seems silly to celebrate when you started dating after you are married, but we feel that it is important to remember how we got to where we are now, and so, here we are. Sometimes, I feel like that first date was a million years ago, and other times I feel like it was just last week. Either way, those first moments of falling in love are some of my most cherished.

To celebrate, I made a wonderful dinner of Dover Sole, Steamed Artichokes with Hollandaise, and Roasted Veggies. The first two recipes are Julia Child's so I won't post them here for copyright purposes, but if anyone would like the recipes, please email me and I will direct you to them!

Sawyer enjoyed the food, too! Well, the veggies, anyway.

It's hard to imagine that at 19, I met my future husband, and now, 7 years later, we have built this amazing family together. The crazier thing to imagine is that I sort of knew it then. I never once thought of us breaking up. I just knew that with him, I was happy, and that was how I wanted to stay. And amazingly, I have stayed just that. Happy.

This is a photo from our 2 year anniversary, so 2005? We thought we were really cool in our vintage outfits!

No, I Will NOT Nurse My Baby in the Bathroom, Asshole!

2010-04-17T00:56:00.003-05:00

When I started this blog, just for fun, I made a rule to myself- I promised to not go on rants about things that make me want to scream, or in this case, get out of bed and write this blog because I'm seething with so much anger that I can't lay down. Tonight, sadly, I am breaking that rule, but I promise, it is for good reason.

I ended my night like I end most nights, I checked my facebook page. I saw that one of my good friends had become a fan of a page called "If breastfeeding offends you, put a blanket over YOUR head!" I loved this, so I became a fan, too. Apparently, this caused a serious problem with one of my facebook friends, and she decided to write this on my facebook wall. "sooo disagree... breastfeed all you want.. just dont pull your boobies out in front of me.. i don't want to see them. go in a damn bathroom. hahaha" First of all, that is disgusting, so I replied, "Would you want to eat your dinner in a bathroom?" Well, I guess I shouldn't have said that because this is how she responded. "than go to your car or do it at home or fight for a breast feeding area (doubt that will happen lol). or wait isn't that why there is breast pumps.. do it ahead of time. it's not fair to me.. i'm sorry but i will not agree. when a woman who is def. over weight is out and pulls her booby out right in front of me and my husband and my little 9 year old cousin. it's so not appropriate..when i was younger I worked at Culver's for a few years as a manager. So many times I saw women just right in the middle of the restaurant pull thier tits out like it was nothing.. talk about making people uncomfortable.. i dont disagree with breast feeding. i disagree with it in public. " Aside from the horrendous grammatical errors, this message made me want to both punch through my computer screen and cry.

I am sorry, but I REFUSE to live in a world like this.

What is so obscene about this photo? I find it to be incredibly beautiful.

I would first like to address my emotional issues with this post. She says she doesn't want to see another woman's boobies. Well, unless you are staring into the soul of my nipple, you shouldn't be able to see anything other than the top of my breast (if that!), in which case, there are plenty of 16 year olds she should be complaining about because I see more of their cleavage in their Abercrombie and Fitch shirts than I do of my own when I nurse! Not to mention, if you can't refrain from staring at my breasts, then that is YOUR problem, not mine, and certainly not my baby's.

She talks about nursing like it is disgusting, obscene, crude, and inappropriate. Any nursing mother will tell you that breastfeeding is far from any of those things. It is incredible, full of bonding time, and just plain amazing. I also want to address how she claims these women "pull their tits out like it was nothing." Well, guess what honey, it IS nothing! It is feeding your child! You don't see people staring at bottle feeding moms, so breastfeeding should be no different.

What bothers me most about this whole exchange is that opinions like this are dangerous. Dangerous to the huge leaps nursing moms have made for our rights to feed our babies in public without shame or fear. Dangerous to the moms who are hesitant to nurse because they are afraid others will think they are "weird" or "gross." Dangerous because this just goes to show us the lack of support and education for breastfeeding in this country! So many women have no idea how breastfeeding even works, let alone how to do it, or what the benefits are to their babies and themselves. So many women give up breastfeeding far too soon because they are given no information, and then are told to "just give the baby a bottle" when things get tough. That is why I am so glad that there are organizations like La Leche League, and why I am becoming a leader. We need to help our country realize that breastfeeding is not obscene, gross, weird, or inappropriate. It is what is best for mothers and babies.

This also got me to thinking about how many women suffer in silence. How many women don't know that there are resources like LLL out there to help them establish a good nursing relationship with their babies. How many women don't even try to nurse because they are afraid of what people will think of them. How many women will never know the joy and pride of seeing their babies thrive and know it was because of what they nourish them with. Something needs to change, and it needs to change quickly before more women like the one in this incident start reproducing and perpetuating this horrible opinion on breastfeeding. There is rarely a week that goes by where I don't get some sort of comment from people, even family, about when I am going to "stop doing that." I will nurse my son as long as that is what is working for the two of us, and I encourage other mothers to do the same.

See, even ANGELINA breastfeeds!!!!!! And ***gasp*** she isn't wearing an udder cover!

And to my adversary, one day, when you are a mother and you are out at a restaurant and your child is hungry, but you are all out of formula, you will be WISHING you had a nice full boobie to whip out and feed your hungry, crying child. Asshole.

Easy, Elegant, and YUMMY!

2010-04-12T21:08:00.002-05:00

I know most of us don't want to be slaving in the kitchen all day, especially during the week, so this post is to show you two easy, delicious recipes that you can throw together in 20 minutes or so!

Butternut Squash Ravioli with Sage Brown Butter Sauce and Toasted Walnuts
This recipe could not be any easier! I take some shortcuts (like buying the ravioli instead of making them from scratch) so it comes together in the time it takes the water to boil and the pasta to cook! The combo of the sage and the walnuts is really what makes this dish. The woodsy flavor of the sage marries well with nuttiness of the walnuts.

Put a pasta/stock pot filled with water on the stove and bring to a boil. When boiling, salt the water and cook the raviolis to the package's directions. While the pasta is cooking, melt a stick of butter in a skillet over medium heat. When the butter is melted add 2 teaspoons of fresh, chopped sage, and a handful of chopped walnuts. Heat until the butter has turned a toasty brown, and immediately take off the heat so it doesn't burn. Off the heat, add a tablespoon or two of heavy cream, and stir to incorporate. Add the cooked raviolis and toss together with the sauce. Plate it up with a little Parmigiano Reggiano and a couple of sage leaves, and behold..... a dinner that you could charge $20 a head for at a restaurant! Also, pumpkin, lobster, or plain old cheese raviolis would be great in this too!

Kelli's "Fancy" BLT's
I don't know about you guys out there in the land of the internets, but I love me some BACON. BLT's are so good, and a great weeknight meal. These take it up a notch, and according to the newly engaged Katie and Brian, they are the best BLT's they have ever had! I need to give credit where credit is due. These would not have come about if the produce guy at Trader Joe's hadn't told me to buy Pea Greens (sometimes labeled Pea Shoots, they are the green, leafy part of the pea plant) and that they were awesome in salads and sandwiches. I use these instead of traditional lettuce and it ROCKS. The pea greens are crisp, fresh tasting, and slightly sweet, just like a pea! The key here is also to bake the bacon in the oven, so you can work on prepping the other ingredients while the bacon cooks.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Place bacon on a cookie sheet (I prefer center cut bacon, but use whatever you like!) once the oven is heated, put the bacon in the oven for about 20 minutes, until cooked to desired crispiness. While the bacon is cooking, slice up the tomatoes (I like beefsteak for these, but again, use what you like!) Also, sprinkle a little kosher salt on the tomato slices, it will really bring out their flavor. Also, toast the bread during this time, I like to use sourdough, but use what you like or have on hand. Wash the pea greens and set aside. Now here comes the kicker. Take about a half a cup of mayonnaise (for about 4 sandwiches, roughly) and stir in about 1 teaspoon of chopped fresh rosemary (or 1/2 a teaspoon if you only have dried) and also stir in a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil. Spread the mayo mixture on both pieces of bread, then put on the bacon, tomatoes, and the greens.

I wanted to take a picture of this, but unfortunately (or fortunately?!) they were all eaten before I could!

Friday was my niece Grace's 2nd birthday. Sunday was her party. Sawyer had so much fun. He loves his big cousin more than anything. So, Happy Birthday to the first little love of my life...... I love you Gracealoon!!!!!

Grace looking at the Foofa shirt I made for her..... I don't know how to sew, but I figured it out for my best girl!

Cutting the Crap about Cosleeping

2010-04-10T10:48:00.002-05:00

So, after my first Mommy Post, I got a lot of questions from people in my life about myths they had heard about cosleeping, or some people just wanted to accuse myself and my husband of doing something unsafe. I will say it again, just as there is a safe way for your baby to sleep alone, there is a safe way for your baby to sleep with you! According to the World Heath Organization (WHO), more babies die alone in their cribs than die in the family bed. Some studies have also linked cosleeping to a reduced risk of SIDS! Remember, have guard rails for your bed, never sleep with baby when you are under the influence, and keep fluffy pillows and blankets to a minimum. So, I am going to clear up some things about cosleeping for some of the skeptics out there!

You are going to roll on your baby and kill him/her - Yes, this does happen VERY RARELY. Again, most of these cases happen when a parent is under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or pain medication, so they should not be sleeping with their babies anyway! Mothers are intrinsicly aware of their babies, even in their sleep, so you will find that you always seem to know where baby is even when you are fast asleep. Some daddies aren't as aware of the baby in their sleep, so if this is the case, make sure that baby sleeps next to Mommy only. Also, small babies should always sleep next to Mommy only. Also, babies are like little heat seeking missles towards their mommies. They will move closer and closer towards you as they sleep. Sawyer sleeps right in the crook of my arm with one hand on the boob at all times!
If you let the baby in your bed he/she will never leave! - Yes, your baby may have a more difficult time transitioning into their own bed, but sometimes they don't. Like everything in the world of parenting, it will take some work and it has to be a gradual change. You can't go from a family bed to your baby in their own bed in a whole other room in one night. Rome wasn't built in a day, and your baby isn't going to take to a whole new sleeping arrangement in one either. With that said, your baby will leave your bed! I have 3 siblings, and we all slept in bed with our parents, and guess what?! None of us do anymore! In fact, no on did after the age of 2 or 3. My brother Dan wanted his own bed at 1! My sister, now 17, had the hardest time with the transition, but my being almost 10 years older than her helped. She moved from my parents' bed when she was 2 and slept in bed with me on and off till she was 4. The funniest thing is that when Sawyer was first born and we were looking for a house, and thus staying with my Mom and Dad, she would come and sleep in bed with me when Kevin was out! I see that as a sign of our close relationship, however, and not because she still longs for the family bed.
Cosleeping will ruin my sex life! - Only if you decide that your sex life has to be boring! Dr. Sears agrees with me on this one, as you can read in the "Bedding Close to Baby" section of The Attachment Parenting Book. The bed is not the only place for sex! Dr. Sears says to "start seeing every room of your home as a potential love chamber." While I think his choice of words there is a little cheesetastic, his point is right on. You can make love to your partner anywhere you choose! Just make sure baby is safely in your bed before doing so. My recommendation is to make a game out of it. See how many rooms in your house you can have a sexy romp in!

With all of this said, I am not saying that cosleeping is "right" and crib sleeping is "wrong." You need to do what is best for your family and your baby, and that must be a family decision that everyone involved is on board with. So, if you aren't comfortable with cosleeping, then by all means, don't do it. Although I have a feeling if you give it a try, you just might like it! , <3

Happy Cosleeping Family on Christmas Morning!

What the DUCK?!

2010-04-06T22:14:00.005-05:00

So, last Wednesday, I received a very interesting call from my mother. She told me that I was off the hook for dessert duty on Easter, and for that, I was extremely excited! Then, she laid it on me. "Your father made an impulse purchase at the grocery store. He bought a duck. You're now on duck duty." A DUCK!?! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! Duck is labor intensive, easily screwed up, and not something I have ever even
dreamt of cooking before. So, I went to my culinary bible and dug up Julia Child's recipe for Canard a l'orange (Orange Duck). Now, this recipe is 4 pages long. It includes many hours of prep work both on the duck itself, and on the accompaning sauce. Luckily, we were spending the night before Easter at my Mom and Dad's, so I was able to do some heavy prepping the night before by preparing the duck stock, which took about 3 hours, and the zesting, julianning, and blanching the orange peels. In the morning, I prepped the duck by piercing the skin, cleaning the carcus, and trimming some of the fat from the neck and tail areas. I slapped and trussed that bird and threw it in the oven to roast for 1 hour and 40 minutes. Then of course, I had to work on the sauce in the meantime. This sauce was a combination of a caramel made of sugar and red wine vinegar, duck stock, port, orange zest, orange liqueur, duck pan drippings, and lemon juice. When the duck was done, I transfered it to a smaller pan and put it in our other oven to stay warm. It came out crisp, juicy, and just slightly under well done, as Julia stated it should. As for the sauce...... OH MY GOODNESS. It was rich, citrusy, and creamy all at the same time. It was fantastic. I thought that duck was going to be greasy, heavy and fatty, but it was none of those things. It was rich, like a very dark meat chicken, moist, and succulent. My brother Cliffy, who is notoriously picky, said we should have duck every year! And yes, I decided to make the duck look like an angel in honor of the Lord.

So tasty. I am really proud of this duck. It was definitely not a beginner's recipe, and something well out of my comfort zone, but I did it! Not only did I manage to make a duck, I made a DELICIOUS duck!

Easter was wonderful. Sawyer had so much fun playing with his cousin Gracie all weekend. Sawyer also participated in his first family Egg Hunt. Our family has one every year, and all of the little ones love it. My grandma goes through so much trouble for all 19 grandkids, 1 grand kid in law, and 2 great grand kids. She makes every holiday special, and the egg hunt is just another reminder of that.

Sawyer's First Egg!!!!!

Benefits of Cosleeping/Bedsharing

2010-04-02T23:55:00.002-05:00

My first "mommy" blog post!

For whatever reason, in our culture, cosleeping (or sleepsharing, or the family bed, whatever you wish to call it) is seen as weird, fringe, and unsafe. Just like there is a safe way for your baby to sleep alone, there is a safe way for your baby to sleep with you. First of all, you should NEVER EVER EVER sleep in the same bed as your baby if you are under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or medications. Secondly, you need to have guardrails on your bed to ensure your baby doesn't roll out of bed. Your baby should be dressed lightly as to not overheat. Adult bodies produce a lot of heat, so your baby will be very warm snuggled next to you.

The benefits of bedding with your baby are numerous.

Babies sleep better! ~ Well, of course they do! Babies have spent 9 months inside their mommies, of course they want to be near them when they feel least secure. Also, according to the Dr. Sears' Baby Sleep Book, babies enter REM sleep first, unlike older children and adults, who enter REM sleep later in our sleep cycles. Because REM sleep is a lighter state of sleep, babies are easily roused when they first fall asleep. Thus why when you go to put your baby in the crib they immediately wake up! Also, for babies, waking up alone is very frightening. Waking up next to a loving caregiver makes baby feel secure, safe, and reassured.

Mommies sleep better! ~ I don't know about you, but the thought of putting my little baby in a whole other room was too much for me to handle. I wanted him where I could see, smell, and touch him at all times. Not much has changed in the past 7 months, although he does nap in the crib now in the mornings, and I take a nap with him in the afternoons. Also, many studies have shown that when mommies and babies sleep together, their sleep cycles sync up! They wake up when baby does to nurse or be comforted, and fall back asleep relatively easily when baby falls back asleep. Also, since your baby is right next to you, satisfying your baby's needs is easier, and therefore, you don't need to get as riled up as you would if you had to run into another room, go make a bottle, warm the bottle, and get it back to a very awake baby.

Breastfeeding is easier! ~ I can attest to this wholeheartedly. Most nights I don't even remember if Sawyer ate in the middle of the night. I literally have to feel my girls in the morning to see which one is empty! Sometimes, I will even wake up and he has latched himself on and I didn't even know it! I sleep well, he sleeps well, and has a nice full tummy. These extra feedings help babies thrive. Hind milk is mind milk, and since night nursers tend to nurse well into their sleep, they get more of this high fat, brain boosting juice.

It helps babies thrive! ~ The extra touch in combination with the added nighttime nursing many cosleeping babies get is most likely the reason bedsharing babes tend to thrive. According to Dr. Sears, "Sleep sharing as therapy for failure to thrive infants was known over a century ago, as evidence from this quote from a childcare book written in 1840: 'There can scarcely be a doubt that at least during the first four weeks and during winter and early spring, a child will thrive better if allowed to sleep beside its mother and cherished by her warmth than if placed in a separate bed." Need I say more? (Dr. Sears, The Attachment Parenting Book, pg 94).

It promotes trust and security between parents and babies! ~ Being close enough to your baby to meet all of his/her needs immediately shows your baby that you care and that you can be trusted to be there when he/she needs you. This trust will then extend to other areas of your baby's personality, such as leaving your baby with sitters or putting your baby in new situations.

That's all for tonight, folks. I made a killer breakfast of bacon, sunnyside up eggs (actually, Kevin made those, they are his specialty!), and then I cooked some Peruvian Purple Potatoes in the rendered bacon fat. DELICIOUS! Then, this Hipster Homemaker and her boys spent the whole day outside having a great time.

Nothing sexier than a man who is a wonderful daddy. :-)

The Ultimate Mac and Cheese

2010-04-01T23:35:00.001-05:00

Tonight, for dinner, I made my own spin on Tyler Florence's Ultimate Macaroni and Cheese. It was crunchy on top, creamy, cheese, smoky, and delicious!

Baked Mac and Cheese with Bacon and Peas
1 pound elbow macaroni or other small shaped pasta
3 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons flour
7 cups of shredded cheese (I used a combo of extra sharp irish cheddar, swiss, and asiago)
3 cups of warm milk
1 cup warm heavy cream
1 handful of chopped flat leaf parsley
3 cloves of garlic, chopped
1 large vidalia onion, diced
6 pieces of center cut bacon, fried and cut into strips
1 16oz bag of frozen peas, thawed
salt and pepper to taste

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Fill a large stock pot with water and bring to a boil. Salt the water and cook macaroni according to package directions. Drain and set aside.

While the macaroni is cooking, heat a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the butter, and when melted, add the flour, whisking vigorously. Let the flour mixture cook one minute, until it is a golden blonde. Slowly add the warm milk, and then the cream, whisking the whole time to avoid lumps. Then, add 5 cups of the cheese, one handful at a time, whisking the whole time until the cheese sauce is smooth. Season to taste. Add the macaroni and the parsley to the cheese sauce and toss to coat. Place the mac in a greased 4 quart baking dish, and sprinkle with the remaining 2 cups of cheese. Put into the oven and bake for 30 minutes.

While the mac is in the oven, heat a skillet over medium-high heat. Add 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Add the garlic, onion, and bacon to the skillet and cook 7-10 minutes until the onions are soft. Add the peas, and cook an additional 2-3 minutes, until the peas are warmed though. Season to taste.

When you remove the mac from the oven, add the bacon/pea mixture to the top of the mac, and serve!

I also made a delicious tomato onion bruschetta. The key here is to make sure you get nice, ripe tomatoes, and to make sure the crostinis are properly toasted. If I have any readers out there, let me know if you want the recipe because it is freaking AMAZING. I make it for lunch at least twice a week

Then, for dessert, I made a chocolate cream pie. I don't really bake, but this was so simple and delicious! I had some pie crust frozen in the freezer that I had made over the holidays, so I just prebaked the crust. Then, I put flour, sugar, butter, unsweetened baking chocolate, and milk into a saucepan and stirred it until it was thick and bubbly. Then, I poured the filling into the prepared pie crust and let it set in the fridge for several hours. Before serving, I topped it with whipped cream. I should let you know, this is a dark chocolate pie, not milk chocolate. It has an intense chocolately flavor that is not overly sweet. If you like the milk chocolate taste better, by all means use that!

We had some Sauvignon Blanc with dinner and it was great. Sawyer has been enjoying himself, and I let him taste a little whipped cream since it is his 7 month birthday!

Little Loves

2010-03-31T21:59:00.000-05:00

My son is turning 7 months old tomorrow and my niece is turning 2 years old next week. My little man had minor surgery yesterday and is recovering beautifully. He is busy playing with all of his get well presents (thank you everyone!) and nursing constantly. I have never been more relieved in my life than when the nurse handed him to me after surgery and he immediately stopped crying as soon as he saw me unhook my nursing bra! Breastmilk is nature's medicine, and it is definitely doing its job right now!

In my previous blog, when I stated that I had 2 loves of my life (my hubby and my son) I really should have said that I have 3. My niece is by and large my favorite little girl. Everyone told me that as soon as I had a child of my own, I wouldn't feels so strongly about her...... I don't think there could be a more false statement. Having a child of my own has made me love my niece more than ever, if that is even possible. I love that little girl so fiercly and protectively that I can physically feel my heart warm when I am near her. Seeing her with her baby cousin and how much she loves and protects him is truly amazing. Here is a toddler, who knows nothing about caring for herself, but who somehow feels so strongly for her "Baby Sawyer" that she is compelled to take care of him and protect him. For the past two years she has brought me so much happiness and love. There isn't a thing I wouldn't do for that little nut, including making her a fabulous homemade birthday present when I don't even know how to sew a basic stitch. But we will get to the Yo Gabba Gabba sewing fiasco next week as to not spoil her birthday surprise.

I promise that tomorrow I will have a recipe up! I didn't cook today, instead I took the babe to his Papa and Mia's house so they could see how well he is healing.

I love it when the weather begins to turn warm and the air smells like life. It means I can bust out the summer driving music. Today, that was Death From Above 1979. I don't think I have listened to that record in well over a year, but man, it is great for a warm night riding on the expressway!

Cheers!

Who is The Hipster Homemaker?

2010-03-30T23:29:00.000-05:00

I believe very strongly that life should be lived simply, with the best quality one can acquire. This goes for all things- parenting, marriage, and of course, FOOD.
I find that most things are at their best when they are at their simplest. This blog is here to showcase that philosophy as well as share my personal experiences, thoughts, feelings, recipes, and culinary adventures both successful and disastrous.

So, who am I? Most days, I feel like that really ridiculous Britney Spears song "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman." I am a 20something wife, mother, doula, foodie, and self-proclaimed domestic goddess. I am a babywearing, breastfeeding, cosleeping, cloth diapering, indie rock loving, gourmet food cooking earth mama. I'll get to all of these facets of myself here, and will include recipes when I can.

Lastly, this blog is dedicated to the two loves of my life, my husband and my son. They are my motivation to seek out the best in everything, and to be the person I aspire to become. To the two of them, I say the words Paul Child once spoke to Julia. "You are the butter to my bread, and the breath to my life."