The birth of a child is supposed to be a sacred, monumental, and spiritual event that completely transforms mother and father. Then why are there so many parents today who refuse to take any responsibility for their babies' births?! I personally know several couples who put much more time and research into what toaster or vacuum they were going to put on their wedding registry than their child's birth. Personally, I find it sickening. You are about to bring a living, breathing PERSON into the world. Don't you think that deserves some serious thought and preparation?!
The US is currently ranked 40th in infant mortality. That is NOT good. We also have a 33% C-section rate, and a 23% induction rate. There are many things that are to blame for these dismal numbers, and one of them is lack of parental education and responsibility.
We have more and more babies every year who are born too soon, or with too many medical interventions, and that is partly because parents don't stand up for themselves or their babies. More and more babies are being born midweek. Is that a coincidence? No, it's due mostly to scheduled inductions and c-sections. When a tired, very pregnant mother who doesn't know her options complains to her doctor about being so pregnant, what do they say? "Well, we can induce you and you can have your baby tomorrow!" (Okay, not ALL doctors will do this, but many will, and as a doula, I've seen it happen more than once.) When you are induced, you raise your risk of c-section to 50%.
An MSNBC article earlier this year showed that less than a third of first-time parents took a childbirth education course. So, 67% of first time parents are literally flying by the seat of their pants into this whole childbirth thing.
I asked a few friends and acquaintances why they didn't educated themselves for the birth of their children and their answers were all the same. "Well, it's not my job to know, it's my doctor's." or "Well, I'm getting an epidural so I don't need to know how it works." I then ask them, "So, if you were going to have surgery on your heart, you wouldn't educate yourself at all about the procedure? About the risks and benefits? Investigate possible alternatives?" They all said, "Well, of course not. I'd want to know what was happening!" So, why is birth so different?!
What about your choice in provider? If you were ill, you would make sure that you had a doctor that was competent, and whose values and attitude towards care management matched yours, right? Many of the women I talked to didn't even research their care provider, or even their options in care. You can have a hospital birth with an OB or a certified nurse midwife. You can have your baby at a free standing birth center (not in Illinois, but lots of other places!). You can have your baby at home with a midwife or doctor. You can also choose to have a doula support you in addition to your medical care. We provide informational, physical, and emotional support.
What about educating yourself about pregnancy? Is that your doctor's job, too? What about when your care provider is pushing you into something? Shouldn't you have educated yourself to know your options and your rights? Just because something is "protocol" doesn't mean that it is necessary, or that is right for you and your baby. Don't want an epidural? Find a midwife or doctor who supports natural child birth and has a low c-section rate. Don't want genetic testing? That is your right, you can refuse it. Want an epidural? Go for it. Just make sure you understand the benefits and risks. Want a c-section? That's also your right, again, make sure you understand the risks involved, and what alternatives you have.
Well, what about BEFORE you get to the hospital? Don't you want to know what things can help you then? What about signs of labor? Signs that there could be something wrong? What about after the baby comes? Don't you want to know about what they will want to do to your baby and what your options are? Things like erythromycin, vitamin K, vaccinations, circumcision, breastfeeding, formula, skin to skin contact, pacifiers, rooming-in, the list goes on and on.
Like I said above, if you took time to register for gifts for your wedding, to pick the colors, the flowers, the dress.... why not treat your baby's birth with the same kind of reverence? The birth of a child isn't a joke, and it isn't a responsibility to be passed off to someone with some fancy letters after his/her name. It's a miracle. It's also an obligation to protect someone who can't protect himself.
LADIES, TAKE BACK YOUR BIRTHS!
Please, EDUCATE YOURSELVES. You are bringing a CHILD, A PERSON into this world. That should be something that is taken with the most high degree of regard and seriousness. Know your options. Find a supportive provider. Take a REAL childbirth class (not the hospital one!). Find out what you and your partner want for the birth of your baby. Figure out what kind of entry you want your child to have into this world. Figure out what kind of parent you want to be. YOU are your child's ONLY advocate. Be a good one.
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Thanks for writing this Kelli! Although I have to admit it kind of really makes me bang my head against my desk too :( lol
ReplyDeleteI read the recent numbers on birth morality in the US and was horrified. Man.
ReplyDeleteI agree so hard. I tried to write about this myself not long ago, but I like your version better :)
ReplyDeleteBravo and well said!! It makes me so said that parents think they have no other option and that they don't educate themselves. I can't tell you how many people I know that didn't even take child birth classes cause they didn't think it was necessary to know how birth worked. That makes me want to bang my head on my desk.
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