December 18th, 2013
Aside from being the worst blogger ever the past few months, I have been meticulously planning for our annual “Thanksmas” party that happened last Saturday. We try to have a theme each year, and this year-as you may have guessed- we chose Mad Men.
This was the premise- everyone had to dress up in the style of Mad Men characters. Guys wore jackets and ties, girls wore wiggle dresses, pin up style clothing, etc. It was so fun to see everyone all gussied up! I was running around like a headless chicken, so I don’t have any pictures of me in my awesome dress. Or of the gorgeous food. Whoops.
To add to the 60s ad man feel, I put out candy cigarettes for everyone, and encouraged others to pose for pictures with them. It was silly, fun, and definitely a lot more healthy than the real thing! Read more...
November 13th, 2013
Monday Mr. Hipster was off work for Veterans’ Day. Sawyer was not. We had 2 WHOLE HOURS just to ourselves. Even though we’ve both been battling (and losing) the cold from hell, we decided we would walk to a local cafe and have a nice breakfast, just the two of us.
While hacking up a lung and trying not to pee myself, I still had an amazing time. At first, we were both
Mmmm…. Childless Chai
rushing and very uneasy. Then, we realized, THERE’S NO RUSH! No little person to worry about getting bored and acting out. No worrying about how the slow service is going to make us wish we never came. Just quiet. Peace. Calm.
It was fucking weird. Read more...
October 30th, 2013
Last week, I discussed my issues with being more gentle and calm in my parenting. I am working on it, and it’s getting better. Although today is a terrible example of that because I’m on edge for various reasons and have been yelling all day long.
Now, there’s also the guilt involved in all of this. Not just the guilt that I feel because I know I’m not doing a great job right now. That’s enough on it’s own, but the guilt that I feel because my husband is so much better at this stage of development than me is even worse.
It’s true. Mr. Hipster is just BETTER at this stage than me. He rarely loses his patience, is always positive and caring. I can count on one hand the times I’ve seen him yell. He somehow knows just what tone to use and just the right way to talk to Sawyer. I, on the other hand, get so flustered and frustrated that most times, we both end up upset. Read more...
October 23rd, 2013
And then my kid turned 4.
It really has nothing to do with him and everything to do with ME. I am a baby person. I love babies, I am good with babies, and all of the work surrounding them doesn’t make me cringe as much as it does most people. I’m not going to say that it’s not exhausting and hard- it is- but most days, I didn’t mind it much. As Sawyer has gotten older, things have gotten so much harder. There is no less love, just a lot more frustration and misunderstanding. Read more...
October 10th, 2013
The following are excerpts from conversations I have had with my husband this week. We are weirdos. Luckily, we both find the others’ weirdness quite charming.
There are a few things you need to know or these conversations won’t make sense: 1) I have a zombie foot. Yes, you read that right, a zombie foot. I have nerve damage on my right foot and I can only feel about half of it. It usually doesn’t give me too many problems, but, you know, obviously when half your foot is numb and tingly it is bound to cause SOME issues. 2) While my wedding was beautiful and fun, it wasn’t the wedding I wanted. I wanted a destination wedding with just us. I also hate weddings in general. Again, we’re weirdos. I know it. Now you will, too.
(Me, stubbing my zombie foot into Mr. Hipster’s fully functioning foot). Read more...
October 2nd, 2013
First of all, I would like to start out this post by saying that I hate that I have to write it.
But I do.
Because I’m haunted.
Haunted by the ghost of a baby that doesn’t, and probably never will, exist. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true. Every single day I am haunted by unexplained secondary infertility and its effects. Haunted by the whispers and pitied looks from those around me. Haunted by those who have turned their backs on me through all of this.
Everything has become a struggle. It’s harder to go to work. Being around pregnant women physically hurts me at this point. Sawyer growing up is more bittersweet than ever. Each “first” that passes is a reminder that I will most likely never get to experience those things again. I will probably never: feel the kicks and wiggles of a baby from the inside, birth another baby in peace and strength, nurse another baby, snuggle another baby to sleep in the stillness of the night- with only the sounds of their little breath and the breeze, I’ll probably never have another first birthday party or welcoming ceremony. Read more...
September 24th, 2013
The past few weeks have been filled with tons of life changes for the Hipster Household.
Sawyer started preschool. Mr. Hipster went back to work for the school year. I starred in my first burlesque student showcase. I wrapped up my latest group HypnoBirthing classes.
All of these things have been both awesome and awful. Sawyer isn’t having the easiest time adjusting to school. He’s so tired from the 2.5 hours he’s there that he cries most of the afternoon and then he just crashes by 8pm (and now wakes up at 6am, what.the.hell.) He’s been telling his teachers he doesn’t know how to write his name (he does). That he can’t count (he can count to 50 easily and 100 with a little help). He isn’t being defiant or unruly, he’s just freezing up. We’ve really been working on building up his confidence, because he is so, so bright, but also very, very anxious (just like mama). Read more...
September 11th, 2013
So about 16 weeks ago, I began a journey into loving my own body, just the way that it is. This is the final chapter in the 3 part series. I have done so much in this time! I have grown and changed in ways I could have never imagined.
Mid-July I began taking Introduction to Burlesque at Vaudezilla Studios in the Avondale neighborhood of Chicago. It’s an hour away from home, which sucks, but I would drive twice that to keep going to classes if I had to! A few of my friends have taken classes there and I had seen the troop perform a couple of times (plus they had a Groupon) so I decided to just go for it. If you’ve been following me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram you’ve read (and seen!) all about it. Read more...
September 6th, 2013
I am so, so tired of the slut shaming. Most recently with the whole Miley Cyrus incident and now with the “FYI to Teenage Girls” post that has gone viral.
No matter your gender, you are responsible for being respectful- both of yourself and others. As females, it is not our responsibility to be perfect, chaste, meek little things. We can be whatever we want to be. If I want to wear a dress with a neckline that allows for my tits to be hanging half out, then that’s my choice. It doesn’t mean that I don’t respect myself, that I’m looking for male attention, or that I’m a whore. Most likely, it just means that I liked the dress. Read more...
August 21st, 2013
You know, the mom that all the other moms don’t talk to? Yeah, that’s me.
(I very obviously have mom friends, lots of them, but at Sawyer’s sports camp, it was a different story. Here we go!)
Sawyer has been attending sports camp for a few weeks now. It’s through our local park district and is for 3 and 4 year olds. Mr. Hipster took him to the first class because I had to work, and he warned me about the Coach. That he was not very positive, and obviously wasn’t used to working with such young kids. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt since Sawyer seemed to be having so much fun. Read more...